Genres

Visitors Review

Snuh McSnort 2013-05-15 10:07:44

an ultra-cheesy schlockfest made by children with no directorial vision

i can't even begin to point out all of the flaws with this SOV tripe. butifi have to start somewhere: primarily, it's not entertaining, which rendersvoid the need to waste 90 minutes suffering through it.the story is...well, there is no story. the plot is: some cannibals goaround the city torturing and eating people, while some toehead cop - whomust have been one of the crews' dad - tries to find them. nice.the acting is stiffer than straight vodka, the fx are - understandably,dueto the video's pedigree - amateur, the editing was pathetic. to cover upforterrible shooting, there are entire sequences that are dissolved. eitherthat or it was a pathetic attempt at a montage, which begs the question:whythe hell is there a montage there? style? absolutely not. how can i be socertain? because the rest of the video is so pathetic, how could aconsciouseffort at directorial flourish suddenly manifest itselfinexplicably?the opening sequence lasts about 5 minutes too long, and i think it'sabout5 minutes and 30 seconds. it involves 2 girls sitting in a extremelypoorlylit bar, while the camera remains at a nice wide shot, so as to furtherobscure anything that might have been seen if the camera and lights werecloser to the subject. and it just drags on like that. why? obviously topadout the running time and cover the fact that you're actually watching anextremely amateur sov waste of time and videotape. i wouldn't be surprisedif it had been shot on vhs-c.i know i'm avoiding the ultimate point of this video, which is to shockandrevolt, but my point is: it is totally without any merit. the guinea pigseries is at least shot well, and fairly convincingly, by obvious semi-proshooters and directors who has a keen eye for real brutality.another glimpse into the genius of this video are the intertitles whichpopup annoyingly and pretentiously every few minutes, with witty quotes fromsuch staples of the MENSA community as marilyn manson, and razor (not thewrestler, the crap-rock band).as a canadian, it makes me terribly angry to see that useless, talentless,mindless garbage like this is coming out of canada, as it will no doubtreflect on our country negitively to any foreigner that viewsit.on behalf of my country, i sincerely apologize, and hope this word ofcaution will stave you from certain ennui.

Tromafreak 2013-05-15 02:29:26

New School Gore: Oh, Canada

Any Exploitation/cult-Horror fans out there with little to no patiencefor comic-relief, and for those of you who are looking for a gruesome,unforgiving gore-fest, with no redeeming qualities, then Urban Flesh isfor you, and only you. If you take my advice, and give thisFrench-Canadian nightmare a try, and if I am in fact right, and youcome to the conclusion that Urban Flesh is the keenest Horror flickever, then chances are good that no one will ever love you and you willmost likely never find happiness of any kind. And now, I suppose thisis the part where I explain what this film is about. Well, here goesnothing (literally). A group of killers go around killing andcannibalizing random people, in a very, very gory fashion, withseemingly endless scenes involving people standing around, devouringbody parts, with unnecessarily graphic, smacking noises in thebackground, the end. That's practically it... nay, that's literally it.Oh yeah!! It was also shot on video... which come to think of it, doesnot help this movies case whatsoever, that is, unless you're one ofthose freaks who likes that sort of thing, which would sort of makesense if you seriously consider a movie such as this to be that keen. Ahomage to the legendary, ferocious Italian Gore from the late-70's tomid-80's, which pretty much clears up any questions regarding why thismovie has zero humor, and even less personality. Taking all that intoaccount, Urban Flesh could pass for some form of a success. As we allknow, the golden age of Italian Gore was a bit on the boring side, yetI feel compelled to recommend the timeless epics of Joe D'Amato (BeyondThe Darkness, Erotic Nights Of The Living Dead, Anthropophagus). Boringor not, Urban Flesh is truly the most repulsive thing to come out ofCanada... not that I'm an expert on Canadian gore, or anything, butthis one would push the limit anywhere, even Florida. As one of thosewho considers themselves desensitized in the way of fictional gore, Idon't use this word very often, but this film would definitely qualifyas "gross". So, Urban Flesh, for what it is, is a success, but Ihonestly couldn't imagine a snuff film being any less interesting. 5/10