Genres

Visitors Review

2012-05-25 16:15:34

Five stars out of a hundred!

Do you like to laugh? Well you're going to need to strap yourself in and throw away the key to get through this movie. Otherwise, you'll be reaching for the remote about 90 seconds in. It's true that I might be the world's biggest Adam Sandler fan. It's also true that I lie to get attention. What I am trying to say is that Adam Sandler and Chris Rock = hijinks. Hijinks that come not in the form of laughter or delight, but in a knowing nod to each other that the paycheck they're getting for thisis bigger than the annual adjusted gross export $$ of Thailand. So, prepare for a joyride of comic proportions, but know that that preparation will serve no real purpose because this film is weaker than Calista Flockhart at bench press competition. However, it's still better than 50 First Dates, so put that in your shoe and step in it.

phronc 2012-05-25 04:56:02

Well done remake

Here is a good example of how you can do a good new version of a movie.Normally I would say that I am sick of Adam Sandler (sorry Adam, I likeyour work a lot), that same IL' dumb character... the same old jokes,etc. But not here. He actually took a departure from his normalcharacters for this role, and it worked. They pretty much stuck to theoriginal story, and added just the right amount of humor. All of thecast were great. Bringing Burt back was a nice touch as well. It wasn'tas dark as the original flick, but that's OK... The heart of the filmwas the same. Good job! I recommend viewing this one! It is worth the $for the ticket. I will probably buy it on DVD... heck a boxed set ofthe original and the remake would be very cool.

kennethcoker1982-1 2012-05-24 10:29:00

Take it for a stand alone movie..

Don't compare today's comedy version of "The Longest Yard" to the oldwith Burt Reynolds. Today's is good and effective for what it is, acomedy film with a bit of action interlaced. So many classic Hollywoodfilms were so good, that any attempt at a remake is just going to fallflat on its face. The Longest Yard with Adam Sandler is more of today'stake on the story if you asked me. It has humor, and is Sandler at hisbest with Chris Rock playing his role well too. Critics and classicmoviegoers beware. Unless you are open-minded, you will never find thehidden treasures of the movie world. It's a football comedy, plain andsimple.

The Arch 2012-05-24 04:47:26

Not as good as the original, but yards better than Vinnie Jones's effort

As always the good guys wear white wear the bad guts wear black. or dothey? Once again, viewers are asked to decide whether law and order arenaturally the good guys, or whether it is okay to cheer for the badguys, especially if the good guys are the bad guys, representing thegood guys who are really the bad guys. Confused? You shouldn't be.Adam Sandler makes a decent job as portraying the all-Americansuperstar gone wrong in this remake of the Burt Reynolds '70s movie.Sandler, like Reynolds rarely stretches his acting and it felt like avision of what Sandler's life would be like if he had not made a livingmaking movies.The difference between the two films, for me, however, seemed that theoriginal attempted to educate people about the complexities of AmericanFootball. The remake assumed a knowledge about rules and scoringsystems, yet at the same time decided that keeping the scoring systemsimple made for an understanding. The original had missed kicks etc.This one keeps the more technical aspects such as the drop goal and thesafety kept back in the locker room.The sports clips are well made and the convicts feel more realistic.The original tough guys lacked a certain menace, whereas people likedDulip Singh bring an all too real physical presence. In addition, theguards are more physical and commanding.On the negative side, Cloris Leachman should have not stooped so lowfor a paycheck. She's better than that. Why Rob Schneider suddenlyappears is also a mystery? I guess he replaces Chris Rock as the comedyprovider.In the original, Paul Crewe spends time in the swamps before caving in,whereas this time, it is time in the hole. In the swamp, you reallyfelt the punishment, whereas the film failed to portray the hardshipsof the hole and the desert in which he was detained.I am always critical of remakes. Why? because they often fail toproduce anything new and often detract from the vision or the impact ofthe original. Fortunatly, this is a remake worth making, if not to putthe abysmal Vinnie Jones' Mean Machine into the relegation zone.

hamburgerman 2012-05-18 03:44:40

The Longest Turd

I typically like Adam Sandler's movies. This one was a turd, though. Ididn't believe any of the relationships. I did not believe hischaracter bonded or felt for these criminal misfits in the least. Allthe talk about bonding... I didn't see it.Very few laughs. And is Chris Rock's act getting tired? Old, played outracial references... Nothing new, nothing funny. Rock did have thefunniest line in the movie, though: "I'll teach you how to football,just don't eat me." I must admit I've never seen the original Longest Yard, but it musthave been better than this!2 out of 10.

JoshtheGiant 2012-05-17 21:20:02

The Longest Yard

The Longest Yard is a flat and pointless exercise in Adam Sandler'shomophobic and sexist jokes, Chris Rocks racist jokes that hang on badlanguage, and Burt Reynolds's stupid smile and for him to act youngonce again. The story is horrible, it was horrible in the original butthe rest of the movie was good enough to almost cover it up. Thescreenplay is crap, the dialogue is their but really sucks, thecharacters are'nt even there. The acting is horrible, Adam Sandler hasgiven so many bad performances, more than any other actor has, but hasalso given two amazing one's in Punch Drunk Love, and Splanglish. Thedirection is horrible, this director has done similar things with allhis films, all of which really suck. The visual effects are fair, butlook fake very often.

Michael O'Keefe 2012-05-15 18:18:43

Fourth and long. More silly than gritty.

Maybe director Peter Segal just didn't have the right people to workwith. I was not impressed with this remake of the 1974 sports comedy.Paul Crewe(Adam Sandler)is a former pro football player banned from thegame for shaving points. He steals and crashes his wealthy and foxygirlfriend's(Courteney Cox)car and is also picked up for DUI. Thisroguish NFL quarterback is now set to spend the next two years inAllenville, a Texas prison. The warden(James Cromwell)forces Crewe toorganize a team of cons to play the prison guards led by WilliamFichtner. There is some pretty well choreographed football sequences;story line is mostly repeat of original...just not acted out as well.The cast is made up of comedians, rappers, wrestlers and former sportsstars...the likes of: Chris Rock, Bill Goldberg, Brian Bosworth, TracyMorgan, Nelly, Michael Irvin and Stone Cold Steve Austin. Others in thecast: Cloris Leachman, Nicholas Turturro, William Williamson and BurtReynolds. Sight gags and prison queens in drag as cheerleaders evokesthe substance of this poor stab at comedy.

g-bodyl 2012-05-15 10:10:21

Funny Movie!

I always enjoy watching Adam Sandler movies because he's always funny.I don't care what his critics say but I think he's a very good actor.He knows the definition of comedy. This film is probably the mostkid-friendly. I didn't hear that much of bad language compared to hisother movies.This is a remake of a 1970's film. Paul Crewe, a former football pro,is arrested for drunk driving. He is sent to prison. While there, thewarden asks Crewe to put together a football team so they can competeagainst the guards.I really was happy to see Burt Reynolds. He really did great in theoriginal. He does the same here. The rest of the cast is great. It wasfunny watching Tracy Morgan and his "girls." Overall, this is a funnymovie and another Sandler classic. I rate this film 9/10.

Craft-IM 2012-05-15 00:25:23

Funny and Good Movie

This is a good movie better then the original. More over it has adecently good cast. Is better then "Mean Machine" (2001) which is thesoccer version of "The Longest Yard", but over all a good movie. In myopinion the funniest part in the movie (the 2005) version that is, iswhen when they are in the basement looking at the wardens "prone toviolence" rating system and they see that Caretakers rating is half astar and then Skitchy make a comment about the purposed "pillow fight"between Crew and Caretaker, he says some thing along the lines of "yeah we can call is Superstar versus half a star". Anyhoo, I hope youenjoy this movie because I did.

2012-05-14 15:46:58

They Did It! They Pulled It Off...An Excellent Remake!! Two Thumbs Up - Awesome Comedy!

Adam Sandler (Paul Crewe) is great in this film. Heck, everyone is great in this film! This is one of the best remakes I have ever seen. One of the best things about the film is Sandler actually looks tired, beat, and downright exactly how I would picture a former NFL star quarterback who lost it all and ends up in jail. Sandler proves that he has staying power with this film.Chris Rock (Caretaker) is excellent as the man to talk to and get the lowdown on prison life (more importantly, how to not end up someone's girlfriend). Rock has some really funny lines, and he just seemd to fit this role better than I thought he would. I think this is his greatest work yet, and I hope he just keeps moving up from here. "Hey, Chris, if you read this, thanks for making me laugh out loud after an eighty-hour work week! You rock, Rock."Burt Reynolds (Coach Nate Scarborough)didn't turn in the performance of a lifetime or anything, but he didn't do all that bad either. The man has been through so much in his life, it was cool just to know he has bounced back so many times. He's not a quitter, that's for sure. I think he's a lot like the coach he played in the movie. I still want to buy that Trans-Am from Smokey and The Bandit! If you read this, Mr. Reynolds, can I at least take the T/A out for a weekend? C'mon, I've spent a lot of loot on your films.William Fichtner (Captain Knauer) is always great in whatever role he plays. From "Grace Under Fire" to "Contact" to "The Longest Yard", Fichtner is one of my favorite actors. He never overacts. He never underacts. He just slides into a role as himself, and somehow makes it work like it's nobody's business. Nelly (Megget) has got skills - acting skills that is. It was almost like he has been in jail before. He was that good! But best of all, he actually managed to pull off the small amount of talking parts and still be so memorable in the film. Megget: "Y'all got a running back?"Paul Crewe: "Not any good ones."Ya gotta love it!Michael Irvin, Walter Williamson, David Patric Kelly (Warriors, come out to play!), Goldberg (Who's Next?), Terry Crews (with cheese), Bob Sapp (He broke-ded my nose), and the rest of the cast deserve all the credit in the world for coming together to make one of the best movie remakes in the history of film!This movie has a little bit of everything. See it, buy it, rent it...whatever...just don't skip it. See ya next review.

Joel 2012-05-12 22:16:54

It may be a remake, but it was done very well.

First off, I normally hate football, (don't ask why.) but this movie isactually pretty cool.Adam Sandler gave one of his best performances since Happy Gillmore andthat's a plus. And let's not forget Chris Rock: every one of his moviesI've seen before this was really painful to watch, but this redeemshim.Of course, if you're also a wrestling fan like me, you'll automaticallynotice some fan favorites right off the bat. (Stone Cold, Great Khaliand Goldberg) Not to say that I like football now, but even if youdon't, you're going to love this movie.

Lovable_Lil_Lady05 2012-05-12 07:57:08

The Longest Yard goes all the way!

I thought "The Longest Yard" remake was awesome! MTV films reallypulled through this time compared to the bummers like Napoleon and ThePerfect Score! Of course, I have not seen the original Longest Yard soI have nothing to compare it to...and I think I like it that way! Ididn't think it was Adam Sandler's style, but yet he fit the part wellenough. I knew he'd pull through regardless of his acting stereotype.Reynolds, Rock, and Nelly were also my favorites in the film. I thoughtthe film had tremendous humor, raw wit, and so many smart ass commentsthat you'll have a pen and paper throughout the movie so you can usethe lines on your pals later!!! It's a movie I could watch over andover again. It really does pull you into the game! I loved it! :)

magnavoltx2 2012-05-05 07:15:07

an average sports movie

i'm a fan of football and living in Texas its a great passion of mineand a lot of the people who live here. I used to really enjoy watchingmy local high school and my brother's college football teams play. surethey weren't that good but it was about team spirit that kept themalive. his college's team gets to lower bowl games but that is aboutall they do and my high school made it to the playoffs in the 2nd roundbut then lost horribly. yet still it was fun and even though I was inmarching band I still love to watch football. I also had cool friendswho played on the local high school varsity football team.naturally, i was hoping for a good football film. this film starts outwith a chase where Adam Sander is chased for stealing his girlfriend'scar. he acts funny toward the cops making fun of them which I foundhilarious and then later he totals her car. he is then sent to prisondisgraced after a point shaved incident where he will be forced to playa game. Chris rock wises him up so that he doesn't become one of theprisoner's women. they have a hard time finding people at first to jointhe team which is very difficult but after Adam Sander plays basketballand the basketball players find out how racist the prison guards arethey decide to join him. There is a sad moment in this film before itreally builds up to the big game. two characters in particular the guyplaying ping-pong and of course Michael Irvan's character are athleticin this one. Adam Sandler seems a bit of a stretch for professionalfootball seeing as he never considered playing but still the movie hasits moments which I laughed at. even though I still like this movie I think a better football movie tocheck out is Friday Night Lights.Pros Of This Film-Chris rock being funny-the players who actually looked like they could be football players-good film for football crazed fans-not a good film but you could still enjoy itCons Of This Film-predictable ending (from the game on)-Adam Sander as quarterback (burt Reynolds younger was better)-hollywood remake not as good as the older the longest yard-not the most intelligent film

steven1010 2012-05-05 01:36:03

Awful movie!!! I want my money back!!!!!!!!!!! -10 out of 10

I saw this movie and want my hard earned money back!!!! The originalwas a 10 out of 10. This movie is a -10 out of 10. Adam Sandler washorrible! Chris Rock was O.K.! and the rest of the cast including Nellyshould not have even been cast. Movies like this remind me of howoverpaid some actors are and how stupid we are to actually pay money tosee an over-hyped and over-commercialized piece of dung that Hollywoodis making these days. Hollywood should pay us to see movies likethis!!! Adam Sandler was not even believable and had no charisma. Ifelt like I wanted the guards to beat up the convicts and win. Ithought maybe Chris Rock would have made a better star than asupporting cast member. I think I would have had a better time renting"Tommy Boy" and buying a six-pack than watching this lame movie.

jchen123-1 2012-04-29 18:30:28

Absolutely Wonderful

This was one of the best movies i have seen in years. Sure, peoplecomplain that the humor is crude, the violence is unnecessary, and theprisoners are bad people portrayed as heroes, but that's not the point.the point is, these inmates all made mistakes at some time or other.Now they're stuck inside a prison with the cruelest, steroid-enhancedguards to ever walk the prisons, along with a greedy, spiteful warden(remind you of a certain movie? Hint: it starts with "the shawsh" andends with "ank redemption"). they are sick and tired of taking thebeating, the disrespect, the animal treatment. instead of revolting,they rebel in the best chance they can get: an organized sport. sure,it's macho. it's brutal. people like that. but that's not the flavor ofthe story. the flavor is in the sweet, sweet revenge, and the emotionalroller coaster you go on for these guys. you feel their pain, you laughat the jokes, you share their joy and anguish. you felt a knife stab tothe heart when caretaker died; you felt your heart grow soft as thebasketball gang joined up; and you got queasy whenever the wardenapproached. the prisoners developed something through the movie.before, they hated each other, hated the guards, the prison. butthrough football, they learned teamwork, friendship, and most of all: asense of purpose. people desperately need that; it's a reason to live.they had a goal; they were determined to reach it. this is theinspiration that the movie is making. this is the core of the movie,and why it's so incredible. in my opinion, The Longest Yard is on parwith classics like Remember the Titans.

tfrizzell 2012-04-29 03:28:50

36 Inches of Pain.

Entertaining, but somewhat dumb remake of the minimally successfuloriginal of 1974. Ex-pro quarterback Adam Sandler is put into a roughTexas prison after a crazed night of driving drunk and breaking hisprobation restrictions. Inside he meets a wide range of characters (oldHeisman Trophy winner Burt Reynolds, wise-crack Chris Rock and thugsMichael Irvin and Nelly) and tries to turn the rag-tag group of consinto a team in a month's time to play a football game against sadisticwarden James Cromwell's prison guards (led by ex-pro players BrianBosworth and Bill Romanowski). The whole set-up is little more thanwindow dressing to get to the film's final act and the big game. Thismovie's predecessor had a hard edge to it that made it somewhatbelievable in spite of the ridiculous material. The characters here arenot developed well enough and the Sandler/Cromwell combo is just not upto the Reynolds/Eddie Albert duo of the original. The comedy borders onbeing downright offensive here, but really nothing should be taken tooseriously. Not terrible, but honestly not very good either. 2.5 out of5 stars.

2012-04-27 08:08:54

longest yard

Matthew UmbenhauerHave you ever seen the movie longest yard? Well it is adam sandler and he goes to jail and every year they have a football game and it's the guards and the inmates, and adam ends up putting a team together and they prepare for the game for months. Then the day comes and the start playing and the ref wont call anything against the guards and I cant say wat happens then, but you should watch this if you like football. You should also watch this if u are interested in what goes on in a jail. Also if you don't like football or jails you shouldn't watch this. So I would sugest to you if u like football you should watch this movie it a great movie.

tracerbullet003 2012-04-27 06:12:26

It ain't French cuisine, but it's still pretty good.

I read Roger Ebert's review before I saw this movie, which basicallyboiled down to this: "why can't Adam Sandler be more like a fancyFrench film? Why must he act like some...commoner?" Buddy, if you wantto see some fine art, then go rent Crouching Tiger. This is just amovie for those of us who want pure, unadulterated laughs (yours trulyincluded). I think this movie shows Adam Sandler at his best sinceHappy Gilmore and Billy Madison. I laughed my butt off during the first15-20 minutes alone. Sure, the racist and stereotypical jokes are a bitoverdone, but I still laughed out loud all the same.If anyone expects this movie to match the grit of its predecessor,you'll be disappointed. However, if you just want to laugh your buttoff to comedy without any overt social or political backdrop behind it,then by all means go see this movie. You won't be disappointed.

asam3122 2012-04-26 11:47:03

Not the Best Adam Sandler movie, but in the top 5

Adam Sandler Movie Top 5 List1. Happy Gilmore 2. Billy Madison 3. Bulletproof 4. Longest Yard 5. Mr.DeedsI came to this movie thinking it would be like the Waterboy. AdamSandler plays Paul Crewe, a former quarterback, who after trashing hisgirlfriend's car, gets sentenced to three years. James Cromwell plays Warden Hazen. He is a cold, evil man who bringsCrewe to Texas. When Crewe suggests that the semi-pro guard team does a"tune up" game, the Warden tells Crewe to recruit some convicts to bethe other team.What follows are hilarious and sad obstacles. Burt Reynolds plays NateScarsborough, a former Heighsman Trophy winner who helps the convictsget their game on.Chris Rock plays Caretaker. He is the guy with all the connections todifferent people.Nelly does a great job playing Earl Meggot, a running back. Overall,this movie isn't bad. It's probably in my top 50. But in the end, theoriginal will always be better.8/10.

Nick W 2012-04-26 01:19:53

Mean Machine rip off!!

If you want to c the original script of this movie watch mean machine(2001). I just watched it and felt conned. (They even named the consFootball team in longest yard after the movie mean machine)The longest yard is exactly the same script as mean machine they justswitched some of the elements to make it more slapstick hilarious.I give this movie a two only because it shifted some things and playedall the cliché's. Racial jokes, Sexual jokes, Hollywood jokes.No wonder this movie is rated 7 plus by the younger crowd. I will sayit again if you want to c an original well meant movie watch meanmachine. Afterwards watch Longest Yard lets c how you feel..Nick W