Terminate the threat before it terminates you!
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|Termination Man Movie(iPod)||Resolution: 480x368 px||Total Size: 315 Mb||
Agent Pope (Steve Railsback), the star of Termination Man, teams upwith Agent Shane (Athena Massey) to complete a secret mission inSerbia. Neither of the them succeed in making us believe that they arein fact secret agents. Railsback looks stiff and old, and his fightscenes are over within seconds because he obviously can't fight. Heeven has trouble running across a road. Massey is trying very hard toact, but without any result. This is partly because Railsback doesn'tgive her any response at all. He just keeps on smiling like he's havingthe greatest time of his life. He looks like he's brain-dead and thensuddenly remembers that he's tough and cool.The script is very bad and almost noting that happens is explainedproperly. For instance: Pope has to go to Serbia to check if he'll diefrom a gas that has been produced by the U.S. government. He has beengenetically enhanced so that he is immune to the gas. Couldn't theyhave done this all in a lab instead of roaming the Serbian woods for noapparent reason?! The acting is quite bad, but it's Railsback's"performance" that ruins the movie completely. He must have thoughtTermination Man would be a comedy. The bad guy is just a sad guy withonly about fifteen soldiers under his command. The way it is filmed ismediocre, lots of standard shots, bad editing, direction seems to beabsent.As a vehicle for Railsback Termination Man fails, because he's by farthe worst actor in the movie. I give it 3/10 simply because it wasamusing to see how far this thing could get out of hand from the starton. And it got pretty far.
Oh boy. This movie is pretty awesome -- as far as unintentionallyhilarious B-movies go. Steve Railsback, veteran B-movie actor, dials inhis best (read: worst) performance to date.So, Mr. Railsback plays the character of Dylan Pope -- a decrepitsecret agent who has been "enhanced" by the wonders of ModernTechnology. Our decrepit super agent can toss around terrorists likethey were rag-dolls, he can run 10 miles in as many minutes, and, bestof all, he can make passionate love to any woman unlucky enough to bepartnered with him.Bad movie highlights: Even though Dylan Pope has been enhanced withsuper human powers, he spends a lot of time whining about how tired heis, and what a nuisance it is to walk around. Seriously, this guy canrun 10 miles in 10 minutes, and he complains about how tired he is fromwalking? Priceless.Even though Dylan Pope is constantly hounded by terrorists, and othermalcontents, he always has a poo-eating grin/smirk adorning his face. Ihonestly don't know what Railsback was thinking concerning hisportrayal of this character. He's surrounded, and being shot at byterrorists, and he has this look of, "Golly this is fun stuff!" What!?Other sweet moments: the number of scenes contrived to get DelilahShane (played by Athena Massey) topless. The script introduced, IIRC,at least 3 moments in which Delilah would have to change clothes. Ourfavorite was when the terrorist leader throws a party that featured,among other things, full Victorian regalia. He's a terrorist, living inthe Balkans (?), and he feels the urge to throw period piece fete forno reason whatsoever? Again, the whole situation was concocted to getDelilah topless.And, of course, let's not forget the obligatory sex scene between Popeand Delilah. Imagine if you will: a moonlight meadow, next to anidyllic stream. A thin mist floats in the background, as 52 year oldRailsback ponderously lies atop Massey -- their bodies writhing in avaguely sexual manner. How erotic!Then there's the showdown between the nefarious terrorists and DylanPope. Guess who wins?Bad Movie Score: 7/10 Good Movie Score: 4/10
'Hello Steve, it's Larry.' 'Larry who?' 'Larry. Your agent!' 'Oh,sorry. Hadn't heard from you in a while.' 'Well, have you thought aboutthe two offers I mentioned?' 'Uhhhh. Would you refresh my memory.?''Well, there's the Troma version of 9-11, 'Alladin and the FortyMullahs'. You'd play.......' 'Forget it Larry. What was the other oneagain?' 'Its working title is 'Serbian Avenger' and you play the lead.A kind of super 007 but it has contemporary political significance. Iknow how important that is to you. It's a Corman-Woods-Slavicfilmsproduction so it'll be shot in Bosnia.' 'Oh yeah, I remember now. Iasked you to get me more money. Were you able to?' 'Yes. I've got youup to $500 a week. No medical coverage but there'll be a retiredBosnian War medic on the set except on Sunday.' 'Sunday! We're going toshoot on Sundays?' 'Well, to get you $500 I had to make a fewconcessions.' 'Yeah, like what else?' 'Uhhh, it's a seven day shootingschedule. But the picture is only a ten day shoot. A 16-hour flat.(Pause) You'll no longer have your own tent. Will have to share it withthe sound mixer and his boom man. But I made the line producer swearthat the guys will not be eating garlic' 'I guess I can live withthat.' 'And you'll have to take a freighter from New York to Dubrovnik.But they'll send a taxi to pick you up there.' (Silence on the phone.)'Look. It's going to be a first class production. The director got aGoovna Award last year for 'Kielbasy, Me and Dravnik' from the jury atthe Second Annual Grzonik Film Festival'. 'Who else is in it. Is therea broad?' 'Best news for last! It's Athena Massey!' 'Athena Who?''Athena Massey! Athena continues to show her range and versatility asan actress with her two most recent films, 'Groin's Portal' and 'TheLabial Monologue.' You'll love working with her. And they already toldme they've reserved a fog machine for the tasteful and romantic dusklovemaking scene they've planned along the beautiful Slobodan Creek .''Larry, does she, uhh, is she.....' "Steve, I knew you'd ask that. Imade some inquiries and I've got it on good authority that she's got aset of tits on her that won't stop!' 'Well, o.k. I'll do it then.''Great. I'll get them to prepare a deal memo as soon as I get off thephone.' ' Great, see you soon.' 'See you.'
This film is extremely poor in every manner, the special effects wereprobably done on an atari, e.g. laser scenes and miniature bombs, theacting is abysmal, an in my mind there wss no need for gratuitous sexscenehalf way through, i mean would u like to see a pizza face 50 year old manhaving sex with a woman half his age (who repaetedly changes her clothesinthe back of a van without a van). it appears that the 50 year old star'sgrandad acted out the fight scenes due to the slow pace and all roundcrapness of it.
...but what sweet Termination it is. Movie consists only of ourprotagonists running from something or towards something or someone.And a few silicon shots. This waste belongs up there with such classicsas "Manos:Hands of fate", "Alien vs. Ninja", Batman(from the 60's ofcourse) and the rest of otherworldly excrement's ever to grace ourblissful third eye.Although it is so funny that can be watched "on normal terms", iwholeheartedly recommend to alter your perception to fully appreciatethe absurdity of actions of everyone who was involved in this HolyGrail of a movie.. Oh boy..enjoy!!!
This review is from: Termination Man (DVD) First off, don't bother buying or renting this one if you don't like B-movies. The plot centers around a terrorist who threatens to release deadly nerve gas, and a "covert squad" sent to stop him. This movie is typical low budget fare, but with plenty of action and some hysterical, "although some may have been unintentional" lines this should delight most viewers. For the Athena Massey fans out there, Director Fred Gallo makes sure you see all of her, and thats a good thing, cause Steve Railsback isn't quite as good looking. The DVD has some nice bios especially of executive producer Roger Corman, who should be refered to as the God, King and Master of the low budget flick