Genres

Visitors Review

BHorrorWriter 2013-05-17 05:23:16

Total cheese/gore fest! I love it!

The sad thing is...I wish a prequel would have been made! Yeah this film istotal, 100% cheese and B grade to the core, but it is hilarious, andoriginal...for its time.Clooney gives a decent, yet brief performance as Oliver...He getsdead!Chopping editing leads the film to be hard to follow at times, but thefinale is excellent, gruesome and silly all in the same vain...Yeah the filmdoesn't make alot of sense, but it is a helluva fun ride.Check out Tommy Hayette (Philip Mckeon) from Alice fame...He has a reallybig FAN in the movie...hee hee (oh, geez, I normally don't get cheesey in myreviews..must be the movie).I actually own 2 copies of this movie....I'm just crazy, Isuppose8 out of 10

zmaturin 2013-05-17 03:01:51

A Horror Low

Looking for a wholly unsatisfying movie that tries to be funny and scary andfails at both? With an over-elaborate plot, a confusing ending, and lots ofterrible eighties music? With a trailer that rips off the trailer for"Susperia"? With George Clooney getting gutted like a fish? If you said"Yes", then this is the movie for you- and you should becommitted.The film jumps awkwardly back and forth in time to tell the tale of alow-budget film being shot at a high school where a series of unsolvedmurders went on. We don't see much of the murders, but there's lots ofunfunny comedy bits featuring Maureen McCormick, the immensely unappealingAlex Rocco, an exploding falsie, and a filthy janitor ("I'm gonna be inthose pussy films!" he says). About an hour into the movie there are somesurprising shocks and plot twists which really helped the movie- and thenthey are revealed to be part of a dream and the movie resumes it's strictpolicy of not having interesting things happen. Watch for a scene where part of the set breaks and the lead actress stiflesa laugh.

2013-05-13 09:45:52

Horrible

Horrible, to say the least. I am a b movie horror fan, but I can say that this one was rated F. I only paid a few dollsrs for it and that is what it was worth. The "special effects" were horrible, the acting, down right terrible. This is only my opinion, watch it for yourself and see.Also the ending confused the heck out of me. Rent before you buy. Or buy it from me, I'll give it to you free.

Coventry 2013-05-12 19:01:29

Why bother?

If you want to see how George Clooney (with a very flamboyant haircut)gets hacked up in one of his first film roles ever, this is yourchange…Other than this, there isn't anything worth mentioning aboutthis production. 'Return to Horror High' is a horror-comedy, and thesetypes of film are never funny, nor scary. You could have some sympathyfor the fact the makers were actually trying to spoof the overload of80's teen slashers, but it never gets any better than lame attempts tomake you laugh. The plot involves a film crew shooting a horror film inthe same high school were a series of murders took place five yearsearlier. Actors and members of the crew start to disappear againshortly after. Did the original killer return? Are we dealing with acopycat-killer?? Does anyone care? No? …didn't think so.

2013-05-09 15:36:25

Hey People! Satire here.

This movie has been getting such bad reviews, and I wrote this one to set the record straight, i guess (but excuse the corniness). This movie was not meant to be a 'real' horror film, it is obviously a satire. Think of it as the first in the sub-genre that "Scream" sopposedly started, accept it's not as straight foward it it's mocking, accept in the leading woman's blatent complaints a couple times. Also the movie has a sorta predictable non-pedictable way about it. It's funny as hell, I mean the stuff that happens is SO absurd, and the police the department is stupid as anything. One of the best parts is that George Clooney is in it, and not even a lead role either.Anyway this movie is a 'watch-if-you-want-to-laugh' type film, and keep in mind that it's a spoof.*Note:the 5 stars are so people watch it, to boost the rating a bit

Rubbed Raw 2013-05-09 07:44:53

A Clever Horror Comedy

Most people who have reviewed this movie here don't seem to realize that itwas intended to funny - it is a spoof of low budget horror films, and themaking of them. It very cleverly plays with several levels of reality: thepolice investigating the massacre, the film crew shooting the movie andexperiencing a 'real life' horror, and the scenes from the movie they aremaking (which are kind of like flashbacks to the original massacre). Ifpeople have trouble following this movie (which I didn't) perhaps it isbecause they are used to simplistic stories which do not demand anythingfrom the viewer. Writer/critic L.A. Morse (in his book Video Trash andTreasures) says it is "...easily the best satire thus far of a genre sorelyin need of an injection of wit, humour and fun". I agree withhim.

Paul Andrews 2013-05-03 13:26:11

Bad 80's comedy horror spoof.

Return to Horror High is set in the town of Crippen where in 1982 aseries of brutal murders were committed at Crippen High School, thekiller was never caught. For the past three months a crew of filmmakershave been busy filming a low budget horror film that is based on theCrippen High School murders in the now abandoned school corridors ofCrippen High. The police are called to the High School & find severalmutilated bodies & only one survivor, the writer Arthur Lyman Kastleman(Richard Brestoff) who tells the tale of how he & the crew were makinga horror film only to come to the realisation that a unknown killer hasbeen murdering them one-by-one...Directed by Bill Froehlich & despite the title this is not a sequel toany other film, in fact you could say that it's a sort of crappy lowbudget forerunner to the self parodying likes of Scream (1996) asReturn to Horror High is a film told almost entirely in flashbacksabout a film within a film, if that makes sense. The whole narrative &structure of Return to Horror High is quite confusing & becomesannoying, for a start there's this framing device in which the policeare rounding up bits of dead bodies while the lone survivor tells histale of what happened (he also tells the cops things that he couldn'thave known or wasn't there to see) so there's are numerous flashbacks &interruptions as the film switches back & forth between the two. Thenthere's the annoying situation where the majority of the flashbacksfocus on a film crew making a horror film so just as a fairly longscene is playing out that you start to get into the director yells'cut' & it turns out it was part of the film that they were making.While watching Return to Horror High a lot of these sequences felt likeflashbacks to the original 1982 incident & it does become extremelyirritating as scenes that you invest time in go nowhere & just end withsomeone yelling 'cut'. At over an hour & a half it's not like Return toHorror High needed padding out either, the character's are poor & themultiple twist endings are laughably bad. Are we really expected tobelieve an entire squad of cops can't tell any one of up to a dozendead bodies are in fact still alive? Do any of these cops not know howto check for a pulse? Do any of these cops not find it strange that allthese body parts are made from rubber? Are we to believe all thesepeople manage to convince the cops they are dead for several hours?Also who was the killer? If he never killed anyone like the twistending suggests then how did he get a huge spear through his chest? Ihonestly can't remember seeing the guy before he pops up at the end,I'm sure he was there someone but I just must have forgotten & Icouldn't make any sense of his reasons for the murders or if he wasresponsible for the earlier 1982 killings or, well actually I thinkit's best not to try & make sense of the various twist endings (thisthing just doesn't know when to quit!) as I think it might drive meinsane. Life is too short. Return to Horror High wants to beeverything, it wants to be an 80's slasher, it wants to beexploitative, it wants to be a murder mystery & it wants to poke fun atthe genre with it's mocking of film crew clichés like the artisticdirector, the producer only interested in money & the self centeredstar in interested in becoming famous but it never succeeds in anyaspect. It just doesn't work, it's painfully unfunny, the mystery islaughable & ridiculous while none of the killings are seen on screen(with good reason because of the twist ending) so it even lacks in thegore department. Also, if I might ask, what is a secret classroom doingunder a real classroom? Does that make sense to anyone? Were they inthe habit of building secret classrooms, maybe for students who wantedto be secretly taught?Return to Horror High tries to be funny, it tries too hard & as suchjust ends up predictable & quite forced. Because of the rubbish twistending none of the kills are that gory since none of the victimsactually died (so why did that guy get sucked down into the sandpit &why was that guy strung up & that large fan rolled towards him or whythe lead actor was supposedly killed behind a door since no-one wasthere to witness any of it anyway & I assume that the so-called victimswere in on the plan so what was the point of staging a fake murder whenno-one was ever going to see it?) with a few splashed of fake blood,some severed limbs & a cut out heart shoved in some guy's mouth in thefilms single goriest moment. Return to Horror High is also the onlyslasher I can remember seeing where someone is killed by a sandpit.There's a fair amount of nudity as several of the girls show off theirbreasts.Apparently Return to Horror High had a decent budget but did nothing atthe box-office when released, the most note worthy aspect of the actingis who turns up in this with Hollywood mega star George Clooney in anearly role.Return to Horror High is a mess of concepts & genres that is a chore towatch with several awful twist endings that stretch credibility to thelimit & you will have suspend all disbelief to be convinced by them.Not gory, not funny, not scary & definitely not as clever as it likesto think it is.

2013-05-03 02:36:38

return to horror high

It had some moments, but overall, if i had it to do over again, i wouldn't

2013-04-30 14:23:19

Forgettable

This movie stinks. There are some really good horror movies of the 80's and this is not one of them. It's BORING, slow moving, the acting and cinematography both suck. I've seen more action on my kids Goosebumps DVD's. I wouldn't pay 1.00 for it, yup, it's THAT BAD!!

vljhrh 2013-04-30 01:38:57

Marcia Brady says "Quack, quack!"

I loved this movie.It made me happy.The crazy principal alone is worth watching the movie for.Throw in Marcia Brady rubbing her breasts and one of the cleverest linesincinema history, "What the f*** is she talking about?", and you have a truemasterpiece of badness.

EricJim 2013-04-28 19:34:29

Interesting! Pretty Good!

I was pretty angry about the review left by Dangera. He said it was a badmovie and he turned it off after the first 20 minutes. Well, you can't put afinal judgment on a movie by the first 20 minutes! I actually watched theWHOLE MOVIE and I thought it was pretty good. I can see why it could beconsidered cheesy, but it is kinda cheesy in a good way. Also, you need towatch the whole thing because there is a twist ending that is pretty cool. Isuggest you give this movie a try. However, an even more under appreciatedhorror movie is one called "Popcorn". It is really great! Check out myreview on that one!

disdressed12 2013-04-28 07:42:16

before there was Scream,before there was Scary Movie,

there was this little gem.it's a horror spoof,and it worked for me.ifound it amusing.there were some great one liners in the film.Screamowes a fair debt to this movie,as does the Scary Movie franchise.youmay not laugh yourself into a stupor,but you'll probably chuckle alot.i'm actually very surprised at the low rating(3.8)this movie has onthis site.i would rate it much higher.people complain about the badacting,but i think that was intentional.for me,i had a good timewatching it and wood watch it again.incidentally,it's not a sequel tothe 1974 movie Horror High.in fact it has nothing to do with that movieat all.for me,Return to Horror High is a 6/10

Backlash007 2013-04-18 21:25:47

"What the hell kind of movie was it?"

~Spoiler~The enigma that is Return to Horror High has still not been solved tothis very day. More of a spoof flick than a horror film, Return toHorror High pokes a little harmless fun at the horror genre. The titlesuggests that it's a sequel, it's not. It's just attempting to spoofcountless other slasher films. It would have worked too if the directorcould have made more sense out of the writer's material (even though hehad a hand in the screenplay, I'm pretty sure the writer's were allhigh). Too many flashback sequences and movies within movies make itterribly hard to follow. So the film just falls flat by its twistending within twist ending. Also hurting the film was the audiencereaction. Most people don't get it; it's not meant to be a serioushorror offering. And those who do get it don't find it that funny. It'ssimply too muddled. I can't make much sense out of it either to tellyou the truth. I don't know what this movie's about, I don't know whatthe filmmakers were trying to do, and I don't care. You know why,because it's terrible and hilarious in all its glorious retardedsplendor. If it had made sense, I don't think I would have laughed sohard. Utter trash that's utterly hilarious. Some familiar faces includeMarcia Brady, Alex Rocco, Brendan Hughes (Howling VI), and even apre-fame George Clooney. Serious horror buffs shouldn't botherthemselves with it. But if you want to see a flick that in no way canbe pieced together and is near impossible to figure out, check outReturn to Horror High. Now, if only someone would do a prequel; theycould just call it Horror High.

2013-04-18 05:25:14

This Doesnt Even Diserve One Star

This movie was not one of the best I have seen. It actually could be considered one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Half the time I didnt know what was going on. The plot of the movie was never really established. I assume from reading the back cover that it was supposed to be about some film makers who are doing a documentary on some murders that had happened at a high school some years before. But honestly, I didnt get that from watching the movie. Like I said, I read it on the box. I still dont know if all those murders actually took place or if they were just trying to trick the police to add effect to their "movie" but it isnt supprising that the ending ... because the whole movie ... There were a lot of parts that shouldnt have even been in the movie. Maybe, but highly unlikely, if they would have taken out some parts then the movie would have made sense. Not saying that it would make it a good movie, but at least it wouldnt leave you going "HUH?" at the end or pretty much through the whole thing. I wouldnt watch this unless you have nothing else to do.

Jamin 2013-04-17 21:01:00

Return To Horror High

This was pretty stupid. I didn't really like anything except for when the killer was cutting open that guy. I couldnt really find a story good enough, the acting was pretty stupid, the direction was lame, and the visuals were pretty flawed. I would just sum this up by saying watch something else. MAN I have been getting some bad movies lately.

2013-04-17 12:31:52

simply avoid this

Let's see... how to describe this film? Simply bad, severely dated, an inexcusably low budget feel *and* a sorry horrible storyline designed to make fun of the horror genre rather than attempt to make a real effort at actual horror. That about sums up Return to Horror High. Basically Return to Horror High does absolutely nothing right. No suspense, no excitement, not even some frightening horror segments to at least salvage it somewhat. The storyline is about a group of people trying to become actors and actresses by making a horror film of their own inside a high school, all the while attempting to fool the cops and make it seem like people really ARE being killed inside the school. Of course there's also a REAL killer roaming around that makes his presence known sometimes... and this is what makes the storyline significantly worse. Everything's basically a huge hidden joke- how CAN a film like this possibly be frightening? Every time you believe a real suspenseful moment of storytelling is taking place involving a real actual death, it quickly turns out to not be real in any shape or form, because every moment of horror is actually nonexistent and all part of the actors and actresses filming their own little movie throughout the hallways and classrooms. A lot of times what you believe is real is quickly interrupted with the movie directors saying "Cut" which completely interrupts the momentum the suspenseful storyline *could* have had. This means you go from feeling fear to feeling cheated. I hate movies that mock the horror genre because they're neither funny or interesting and *definitely* not suspenseful. It's like these type of storylines fail completely around every single corner of storytelling, and that's exactly what Return to Horror High does- it completely misses the mark. Avoid.

movies2u 2013-04-12 20:07:16

This Movie Could Have Been *Way* Better.

Return to Horror High isn't the best pice of work in horror filmmaking.There are 2 well known actors in this film, yet they have rather smallparts. One is Maureen McCormick (Marcia from "The Brady Bunch") and two wasGeorge Clooney who only makes it through two scenes, so I don't know why hisname is on the front cover, he doesn't have the leading role! It wasprobably just to attract young teenage girls to the movie because of him sothey can make 15 dollars that was only given to them because GeorgeClooney's name is advertised on it. This was a cheesy movie, and the musicwas also really bad. I give Return to Horror High a 5 out of10.

drossiusa2002 2013-04-12 15:18:42

Yawn and Snor

This movie had no plot. There was no character development. It was a wasteof time to watch this movie and trying to decipher what the writer wastrying to do, scare us or bore us? Also the acting was horrible. It waslikewe were watching the dress rehersal throughout the entiremovie.

2013-04-11 03:45:44

A stinker!

In 1982 Cripptenton High was the scene of a series of graphic murders and the school was shut down since with the killer vanished, 4 years later a group of Hollywood filmmakers such as a director (Scott Jacoby) and a sleazy producer (Alex Rocco) with a group of actors and actresses who return to that high school to film the movie, however the killer is still alive and is creating more bodies to drop than ever.A smelly attempt to be a horror comedy but falls flat on it's act! despite the presence of George Clooney in one of his film debuts and Maureen McCormick, this one is a terrible and poorly acted piece of crap with no logic, no scares and unfunny attempts to be comedy at times. Your better off with "Scream" if you want a self-referential horror film done correctly, avoid this at all costs.This DVD has a fair transfer with some miminal grain at times and the sound is good but the only extra thing is the trailer.

2013-04-10 21:44:05

A Hilarious Pic!

Cool sets and very interesting directing make this film good, the EFX make it hilarious! The "killer" has an awesome mask and outfit, and expect to see GEROGE CLOONEY in his early days make a cameo. Also, MARSHA from the Brady Bunch television series is in it, and man does she look good these days. The story will confuse even Einstein, I've watched it a few times and it just doesnt make sense. Oh well, still a cool picture. Pick this up, the price cant be beat and you'll surely watch it a few times.