Genres

Visitors Review

tolis01 2012-05-19 20:20:51

Guys, invite your friends and see it together!

You got a supermacho hero coming from the past, Robert de Niro, DonJohnson after soooo long, gorgeous females, and action action,action!!!Guys, order some pizzas and beers, sit back and enjoy!!! You cannotwatch this movie with your lady, sorry, she will simply not understandwhy you like it.The movie deserves actually nothing more than 7, but due to theextremely high entertaining factors, quite good acting and directing Igive it a 9!PS: Lindsay Lohan as a nunn! ...Ohh Yeahhh! PS2: MEN ONLY!!!!

Liam Greenfield 2012-05-19 09:55:06

Over the top brilliance

Machete is one of those films that you know what to expect before yougo in. It is understood that this is an exploitation flick, which willhave excessive violence, sex and nudity. What pleased me most aboutthis film, that as well as that (which should be minimal expectationbefore going in), it has a well told cohesive story and some real powerhouse acting. I am a big fan of Rodriguez's earlier film, 'Desperado,'and Machete is similar to that; except where Desperado took itselfseriously, this film has its tongue firmly in cheek and from this youget a lot of the humour - and it works. From start, all the way throughto the finish, there is something happening that keeps you glued to thescreen. Perfect to watch in a group, especially if some of them have alow attention span. Limits have been pushed and I love it. It is notexcessive violence for random excessive violence sake; it's beenthought about and works extremely well in regard to the story and toneof the film. I would describe 'Planet Terror' as a practice for whatRodriguez wanted that didn't quite deliver and Machete as themasterpiece - that delivers on all cylinders. I cannot recommend thisfilm enough as a riotous laugh out loud, violent and engagingexperience.

2012-05-18 04:16:14

Rodriguez's version of a Spike Lee film....

only not as intelligent, and more amped up. i had to watch this a couple of time to decide if i liked it or was too disgusted with the stereotypes everyone played in this flick. i was mostly disappointed in deniro and don johnson. great actors(deniro anyways), but shouldn't have had to do this movie. the others i could see, they needed the money, exposure,etc...but deniro, WTF? even the italians were terribly portrayed.that being said, the action is over the top and the filming itself is odd. at times giving the gritty feel of an older seventies flick, other times it looks more modern.on the plus side, trejo kicks ass, always has. lots of action and t 'n' a gave it an extra star, cause i am a guy. and over the top is still fun...bottom line, though, the message in this movie is pretty heavy handed and because so it loses its validity as a real social comment. i blame mostly the deniro and johnson chacters for that part. lindsey lohan was doing anybody any favors either, 'til she got naked, even then....eh...this must be the kind of movie rodriguez wanted to see as kid and never got to. it's a bummer it was so wasted an opportunity on what i hoped would be a truly fun movie.also, some of the dialogue is just the most god-awful tripe you've ever heard.

David_Brown 2012-05-17 12:12:37

The Worst Film Of All-Time

I cannot believe there are any people who actually like this film. Ifthere was an option for a lower number than 1 for "Machete", I wouldhave given it. There are very few films I have ever seen that do nothave a single redeeming factor about them: "Slamdance" "TeenageCatgirls In Heat", " Candy", "Jewel Robbery" & "The Adventures Of PlutoNash" are some of the others. Along with "Candy", this one takes thecake as being the single biggest waste of talent ever put in one film(DiNiro in this is like Brando in "Candy", the most bizarre film choicein their careers (Why would he even take the time to play the Senator,its not like he needed the money)). I know it is supposed to be asatire, but it is so bad it makes the Woody Allen/Peter Sellers "CasinoRoyale" look like "Gone With The Wind". As bad as it is as a satire, itis worse as an action film. Speaking of action films, the "standout"awful performances are Michelle Rodriguez as "She" (I get the takeoffon "Che"). She was stupid and witless, particularly coming out of anambulance in the hyperactive ending scene. As bad as she was, it didnot equal Steven Seagal. He was so bad, I felt like throwing something,every time I saw and worse, heard him speak. I cannot believe how badhe is at playing a Hispanic (Including speaking English in Mexico toanother Mexican). It is an even worse performance than his low gradedirect to video films. Simply put my grade for this movie is ZERO. Notonly is it ZERO Stars, but Zero Degrees Kelven. In my humble opinion,easily the worst film of all time.

collipal-1 2012-05-11 20:04:41

An entertaining "B movie", but with some important fails

The sad secret of "B cinema" is that the trailers are many times betterthan the movies they announce, because even though they can fill a fewminutes with attractive fragments, they usually lack of the narrativesupport to keep our interest for two hours.In the case of the filmMachete, the challenge of fulfilling with the promise from the trailerwas twice as difficult, because co-directors Robert Rodriguez and EthanManiquis had to invert the process, by creating a film on the basis ofa short film which was originally part of the experiment Grindhouse.ButI have to say that Machete ended up being an entertaining "B film",even though it has some important fails.The main problem from Machete is that it has too many story lines, andas a consequence, the movie looses the focus because it constantlyjumps from one sub-plot to the other one, trying to unify them withoutachieving it.Do not misunderstand me...I had a good time watchingMachete, but I would have personally preferred less "cool" moments andmore narrative efficiency.As for the cast, I liked the work from all the actors, independentlyfrom their individual talent.They all adapt themselves quite well tothe tone required by the story, something which automatically excusesthe exaggerations and rigidity some of them show.In conclusion, Machete is a movie which works better for its style andintention than for its story, but I would have liked to see some moreeffort in rounding out the screenplay.For example, when we learn theplan from the villains, we are revealed a solid concept which ties thereal controversies of undocumented people, the drug trafficking and theborder patrols, but there is not enough time to develop it because wehave to go to another "cool" moment.Nevertheless, I can recommendMachete, because despite all my complains, it kept me entertained thewhole time.

2012-05-11 13:02:53

You get what you'd expect

Many reviews of this movie have had some valid points but you have to understand, this is a Robert Rodriguez film. His films don't really surprise you these days. Watching one of his movies is like listening to Def Leppard. Most of what they did sounded the same but it sounded good. This is an action film with a few good one-liners and I'll be fair and give it 3-4 stars with a recommendation to buy it if you are a Rodriguez fan. Don't expect ground breaking stuff here but expect a fair action flick that is a bit exagerated and you'll be fine.The reg. edition comes with an audience soundtrack and that made watching it a second time worth the time. This is where a viewing in a theater was recorded and every time a funny thing happened or big action scene happened, you can hear the audience reactions. Political plot? I wouldn't say they went out of their way to make a political point in this film. Deniro played a character that was running for a position (in Texas) that the topics of illegal aliens and jobs etc would be big ticket issues and he takes a one sided position that wasn't popular. It was his character. That's the way I saw it. Some good dialogue:Machete - "Machete don't text." when he is yelled at by Alba that he could have text'd her. Cheech (Priest) - "It's not safe for you to be here." Machete - "You're right." Cheech - "No. It's not safe for ME for you to be here. Get the F out!"It was good to see Jeff Fahey doing a bigger budget film these days. He is a better actor than he gets credit for.

Roger Moore 2012-05-10 19:10:32

It's a Hispanic American version of a blaxploitation film of the Super Fly school, with bloody action, titillating nudity and a catch-phrase riddled script.

kostas voukelatos 2012-05-10 01:28:40

''God has mercy,America's migratory system don't!"

As far as i am concerned Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino aresome of the few and far between directors who have the guts to makesomething unconventional and not usual at the time being.This timeRodriguez brings Machete,a very violent and gory movie.But payattention,Machete is not just about gore,blood and profanity.Machete isa very smart film with great humorous quotes upon the migratory systemof the U.S and the political corruptness.Everybody playing in Macheteis great on his role but the one who i really enjoyed watching is theone and only Robert De Niro. To sum up in twenty years Machete will bea legend.The only bad thing Machete has is that despite its super-goryscenes and deaths is not that far from reality.Welcome to America!

Shakor77 2012-05-09 23:33:08

Awesome!

This movie got it all for an action comedy. Hardcore action, hot chicks(who can actually act) and a long list of cool actors. Even though allof them are not great but it is none the less both a tribute to thepast (Don Johnson) and to the present in the form of Jessica Alba andMichelle Rodriguez!Only thing I really don't like is that Lindsay Lohan is in the moviebecause, although hot, is a terrible actress. But if you ignore her,and the awkward scene she has at the end, this is one kick ass actionflick!Lots of gore though (but in a funny way) so parents be advised!

Dustin Putman 2012-05-09 17:44:12

An orgy of hot babes, rugged men and blood-strewn weaponry, the picture has been made with giddy, people-pleasing aplomb.

2012-05-08 13:06:18

Kill Whitey

Basically the whole theme of the movie is how mexicans should kill off all the white people in the US in order to take over the US for themselves.

J B 2012-05-07 19:33:56

One Bad ('Bad' As in 'Good') Western

This movie got right everything it was going for, and probably thensome. It was a bit of a (don't call it a) come-back flick forRodriguez, who made a strong directorial showing with this surprisinglystar studded crew. It was violent, fast paced, humorous, and...well, Iguess I'd to have to say...downright bada**. Playing on the number of cliché situations that exist in action moviesthat actually take themselves serious, Machete finds a way to weave allthat is usually bad into something good. It has Western themes and anda plot which focuses on ethnic issues that actually divide North andCentral America citizens. It is highly satirized, but its story focuseson a hypothetical example of what could happen because of poorimmigration laws, so it even has educational value (I'm just joking, itis extremely violent. I wouldn't recommended letting your kids watch).As long as your going into the movie knowing what it is, then you'regoing to at least enjoy some of it. Go 'head, give it a watch. Rating:6.937/10

D_Burke 2012-05-05 23:23:24

"Machete" Is Not For Everyone, But It's Was Fun To Me

As I was in the theater watching "Machete", I could not help but seecertain scenes and keep a list in my head of people who would hate thismovie. When Machete (Danny Trejo) takes out the knife whose nickname hebears and cuts people's heads off, "people who hate violence in movie"made my list. When Sartana (Jessica Alba) takes a shower and leansagainst the wall in a way that millions of men probably fantasizedabout, "most, if not all, women" found its way onto my list. When Padrethe Roman-Catholic priest (Cheech Marin) says "God has mercy. I don't."to a guy before blowing his brains out with a rifle, I couldn't helpbut mentally pencil in two other groups of people: Catholics, andpeople who hadn't seen "Grindhouse" (2007) when it came out in theatersthree years ago.Well, I love violent action films, I think Jessica Alba is gorgeous, Iam Catholic but am not easily offended, and I was one of a surprisingfew who saw the aforementioned ambitious tribute to B-movies of the70's and 80's. Therefore, I enjoyed "Machete" a lot, but I imagineothers would have to take it with a grain of salt."Machete", based on a fake trailer made exclusively for "Grindhouse"that director Robert Rodriguez decided to expand into a feature-lengthfilm, is not meant to be taken seriously. If anything, it's a cleverfilm with a lot of great action sequences, intriguing characters, manyinteresting subplots, and a good story at its base. For starters, italso has an impressive roster of talented actors in it. There is aninteresting mix of the usual Rodriguez players (Danny Trejo, CheechMarin, Jeff Fahey), really good actors (Robert De Niro), notoriouslybad actors (Steven Seagal, Don Johnson), and talented players that havemade some bad film choices over the last few years (Jessica Alba,Lindsay Lohan). The funny thing is that, good or bad, most of theseactors seem perfect fits for this movie, and work well off each other.Trejo may have been an action star if he came to fame in 1970's cinema.Nowadays, it's not unusual to see good looking celebrities like TomCruise and Ryan Reynolds headline action films. Thankfully, Rodriguez,like Quentin Tarantino (who co-produced this film, but for some reason,remained uncredited) saw something in this 66-year-old ex-convict,because Trejo makes a great lead for an action film. Just one look athim, and you may want to start running. He's rugged, doesn't take anycrap from anyone, and it is what action stars should be. It's just toobad the villains in this movie are not aware of that fact, and thereare many villains.There's Torrez (Steven Seagal), a drug kingpin who betrayed Machetewhile he was a Federale in Mexico. There's Booth (Jeff Fahey) who hiresMachete to assassinate a Republican senator (De Niro) who's staunchlyagainst illegal immigration. There's also a corrupt border patrolman(Don Johnson) who kills illegal immigrants with no mercy. AlthoughJessica Alba plays an INS agent, you really can't stay mad at her forlong.Although "Death Proof" and "Planet Terror" found a separate followingon DVD, "Grindhouse", which combined the two films along with fakepreviews, did not do well at the box office despite rave reviews. Sothe timing may have been bad for "Machete" had it not been for thecontroversial Arizona immigration law that coincidentally coincidedwith this film's release. Whether or not this movie can be seen as aHispanic-American revenge fantasy is not up to me to decide, althoughMichelle Rodriguez's turn as Luz, who is suspected of aiding illegalimmigrants, raises some interesting questions. The film does seem toforget that it's a parody of exploitation films of years past at times,but never ceases from being fun. Just as Rodriguez brought "Machete"from a coming attraction to a feature film, I hope Rob Zombie does thesame for his "Werewolf Women of the SS" preview.

2012-05-05 13:50:24

GRIND HOUSE CLASSIC

Another movie that was designed to be bad. This movie is patterned after the other Grindhouse type films with nudity, killing, guns, excessive blood, bad acting, bad dialouge, and a plot that doesn't make much sense. In this film Rodriguez thankfully parts way with the Drive-in intermission as well as the fake burning film, and film noise.Danny Trejo, who makes Steve Tyler look like a pretty boy is the main hero is this film. Jessica Alba plays an immigration agent. Steven Seagal, using various bad Mexican accents plays a drug lord. DeNiro is a state senator who, along with his aide is in cahoots with the drug lord as well as a vigilante group along the border. Michelle Rodriquez leads a group of poor Mexicans, all with cell phones.The plot is immaterial. In one scene the car starts on fire before it hits anything...then explodes. Lindsey Lohan goes topless and later dresses in a nun's outfit, packed with a gun. (Plot Spoiler?) She goes to shoot DeNiro, and says, "In the name of my father" BAM! BAM! then says "I forgot the rest." In the end, all alliances break down and everyone tries to kill everyone.Alba is also naked in the shower with her arms and legs strategically placed. She is best in the deleted scenes as her own twin sister which we never see in the movie. Every time Alba comes home she finds her in bed with some guy. Her twin calls her a "B" word and Alba responds by calling her a "slut."There is nothing believable in this movie, nor should we expect it. Oh yes, and the nurses wear very short smocks.There are no orientals in school girl outfits. I wonder how they missed that?

ThreeGuysOneMovie 2012-05-02 21:23:53

Danny Trejo for the win!

Machete is over the top in all aspects and is a classic grindhouse Bmovie in the modern era. The movie stars Danny Trejo, as Machete, anillegal immigrant hired to kill a Texas Senator and when the man whomhired him sets Machete up, Machete goes shithouse. The violence issurreal and the plot is thin but with stars like Don Johnson, JessicaAlba, Michelle Rodriguez, Lindsay Lohan,Robert De Niro, Cheech Marin,yes I said Don Johnson, this movie was entertaining.Robert Rodriguez, whom has directed movies, From Dusk til Dawn, OnceUpon a Time in Mexico and Sin City certainly has a flare for oldMexico, Danny Trejo, and over the top violence. I actually think thatRodriguez and Trejo are related. Rodriguez seems to put Trejo in a lotof his movies and he finally got to be the lead in a full lengthfeature directed by his long time employer.The cast of Machete has a large rap sheet, many of the actors andactresses have had several run ins with the police and a few have spenttime in prison. It is like Robert Rodriguez has a thing for criminalactors and actresses, just a thought.My final thoughts about this movie are this; this movie wasentertaining and violent, with some cheesy comedy and one liners. It isnot going to change cinema as we know it but it certainly was worth awatch and the only thing that would have made it better for me is ifTubbs made an appearance.

Brett Michel 2012-05-02 10:46:50

Alas, not even Lindsay Lohan -- doing a cartoonish riff on her tabloid persona (is this even possible?) -- can bring this rotten egg to a boil.

2012-05-01 22:47:23

Great Movie, So-So DVD

This is a nifty B movie with an amazing cast, but the shortage of extras on the DVD might merit waiting until a better edition is released at some point in the future.NO director's commentary... NO making of featurette. Just an actual audience response soundtrack option and a few deleted scenes running less than ten minutes.Machete may not text, but he sure deserves better than this bargain-bin release. Of course, the DVD is from Fox, so why would anyone expect anything better from a Rupert Murdoch company?I hope Robert Rodriguez of all people finds a better distributor for his films in the future...

Frank Swietek 2012-05-01 19:03:15

For about an hour...the silliness works. Unfortunately, the last 45 minutes go south, as it were.

Shaun Munro 2012-04-30 19:19:44

Social commentary, you ask? Quite how can a film centrally preoccupied with Danny Trejo stabbing and shooting people and having sex with lots of women have any sort of pretension to political currency?

bce512 2012-04-30 09:19:44

awesome

Machete has a great many things going for it: good acting, story andscoring. The music added a lot of flavor to the scenes, and gave it adifferent kind of feel. The acting all around was great Steven Seagalas his first out right villain role was decent. Danny Trejo who is notoften a lead actor really showed what he can do given the opportunity,he made the role, and movie I can really not see anyone else playingit.Robert DeNiro was cool in this movie but kind of seemed like hewasn't trying all that hard to give the role much depth. The movie hasadded some comedy without over doing and the action was over the topbut also within the bounds the movie created with its early life ingrindhouse. Machete has an artistic view and a movie that is fun to seeas well as being a solid movie. Bottom line if your a fan of the genrego see Machete you will not be disappointed.