Genres

Visitors Review

2012-05-25 12:04:02

n/a

Just wanted to vote the one star to bring the rating down. This movie betrays the titular character. That's all.

iamkalyn 2012-05-24 15:50:34

Jonah Hex BLOWS

Hands down worst movie ever made.... The acting looked like somethingout of a first grade play and the props appeared to be very cheap.Nothing was explained whatsoever by the childish dialogue and thereseemed to be myriad holes in the superficial plot which failed toexplain even the simplest questions that a viewer may have. Jonah'spower was never explained nor were the roles of the Indians in themovie nor was the surface even scratched about how the weapon workedwhich just made the movie seem surreal and almost comical becausethings just seemed to happen without reason but just merely because itseemed convenient for the writers. If this movie was a comedy and MeganFox talked less and got naked more perhaps it would deserve more thanone star.

Mark Keizer 2012-05-22 08:03:23

Jonah Hex is not a good movie, but it's a great cautionary tale about what happens when a film loses its way.

Michael Phillips 2012-05-21 09:44:28

Here's how you know Josh Brolin has become a movie star: Jonah Hex may not be much with him, but without him? Perish the thought.

David Germain 2012-05-19 19:09:56

So short, and so bad, you cringe at the thought of how awful whatever ended up on the cutting-room floor must be.

2012-05-19 04:41:23

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly...without the Good.

The target audience for most Westerns is predominantly male. The same goes for sci-fi and steampunk. Supernatural ghost whisperer, however, is a show with Jennifer Love Hewitt. And until that gets on Showtime and gets a little more risqué it's not going to draw in the male audience. Therein lies the problem with Jonah Hex (and Wild Wild West); one bad apple spoils the bunch. Add to that a script written by a clearly confused screenwriter and direction from someone who gets lost in a single-stall bathroom. Only Hollywood could screw up the story of a guy who turned into a Wild West bounty hunter after a life in which his prostitute mother runs away, his father sells him into slavery with an Indian tribe, he fights in the Civil War (South), gets accused of being a traitor, shoots Stonewall Jackson, has his wife murdered the day before the wedding (some would call this a lucky break), and is disgraced in an Indian battle to the death and branded with a searing hot tomahawk to his cheek. Jimmy Hayward should never be allowed to direct again.Whatever, it's not like they tried to introduce the characters at all. Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin - decent performance) gets his history changed, and all we know is he has an enemy, Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich - going through the motions), who murdered Hex's family after Hex supposedly betrayed his fellow soldiers. Turnbull is the most shallow character Malkovich has ever played. Inserted purely because a movie needs an antagonist. Speaking of pointless characters, Michael Fassbender is completely wasted, and they may as well have blind-folded Megan Fox, gagged her, stuffed her into a corset fitted for an anorexic, thrown her into bed, forced her to play the role of a prostitute, and zoomed closely on her pouring assets. Crossing my fingers for an extended edition.Beyond that, ridiculousness abounds. Saddle mounted Gatling guns that don't bother the horse (but dragging a fat guy is too much for the trusty steed). Unnecessary, anachronistic weapons inserted purely for CGI. Fight scenes that purposely obscure the action and impact. Dynamite crossbows. Yeah, because those were necessary.I now have post-traumatic stress because of this choppy, misfiring mess.

ellisantony 2012-05-14 17:11:30

It's a comic, not a literary classic. Cut it a break, it's really fun!!

I had no preconceived notions about this flick and when I checked thedatabase after I had viewed it, I was really surprised to see suchcritical reviews and a low rating. Personally, I thought it was greatfun with effects and style to reflect the retro theme. Mr Malkovich isalways good value and Mr Brolin/Ms Fox sounded and looked right too.Maybe I'm in the minority as I enjoyed Ghostrider and this had asimilar feel to me.OK, it's not a classic but it left me satisfied. Nice effects, quirkysupernatural subplot, good action sequences and a sprinkling of moralsentiment. Add in a quality cast and it's got to have some interest.Something tells me this will become a 'grower' over time. Not bad atall!

Mark Dujsik 2012-05-14 01:07:18

Why, in the name of all that is campy, can't a movie featuring a dynamite-loaded crossbow just have some fun?

Fred Topel 2012-05-13 15:51:22

I liked it so much, I really want to see the rest of it. It can't really be a 75 minute movie, right?

2012-05-13 03:47:03

Move over Daredevil, you have company!

Ouch! That hurt.So did watching the movie ...Take great castingWooden acting by Megan last few moviesTake some lessons; you have $.Great premise lame plot inaccurate technology too tameThis movie could have been great.This is one of those situations where the movie needs to be redone.See Ghost Rider.The only redeeming factor was its terseness.

chrismsawin 2012-05-11 02:28:47

Explosive action with a short fuse

Remember how people always seem to make jokes that they lose interestin a movie if something isn't blown up in the first five minutes ofwhatever they're watching? Well, if that's true, those people won'thave any problems with the opening of Jonah Hex. There are two hugeexplosions, a shootout, and a robbery in the first fifteen minutes ofthe film. Not to mention the fact that the film is beyond loud. Withall of the explosions, fires, shootouts, fistfights, and yelling goingon in the film, there isn't really a single moment in the film's entireduration where the floor isn't rumbling or your chair isn't shakingfrom the intense action taking place on screen. While Josh Brolin does a decent job of bringing the Jonah Hex characterto life, he seems a bit flat at times. Before I go any further, let mebe the first to point out that I didn't read the Jonah Hex comics. Sothis is purely from a moviegoer's standpoint. Jonah Hex is so focusedon getting revenge for his family that he's really kind of boring otherthan the occasional wise remark every so often. He can apparently talkto dead people, which is kind of interesting. But animals tend to havea thing for him, too; horses, dogs, a huge murder of crows. Did anyoneelse find it humorous that every time Hex left a location, it waseither burning, exploding, or a combination of both? Megan Fox brings mostly eye candy to her role as a promiscuous womanwho has a soft spot for Jonah Hex and has a decent action scene towardsthe end of the film, but adds little to her repertoire as far as actinggoes. The supporting cast of actors alone should have sold this movie.John Malkovich as the main villain supports that theory, but hischaracter is also pretty dull. He lost the thing he loved most in thisworld thanks to Jonah Hex and the military, so he's decided to killinnocent bystanders and destroy the United States. That's about as deepas his character gets. Small parts were given to actors that probablyshould have been around longer than they were. Will Arnett ("ArrestedDevelopment") is around long enough for you to notice he's in a seriousrole, Wes Bentley (American Beauty) has a similar role that bucklesunder the intimidation of Malkovich's Quentin Turnbull, and JeffreyDean Morgan (Watchmen) has a five minute scene that kind of makes youwonder why he took the part to begin with. Michael Fassbender(Inglourious Basterds) was pretty enjoyable as Burke though. He seemsto make the most out of his short time on screen.The film has quite a few drawbacks. The main one being that it'sincredibly short. It isn't even an hour and a half long. So everythingmoves along at a rushed pace. The animated opening felt out of place,as well. A live-action adaptation shouldn't really try to make a pointto rub the audience's nose in the fact that it's based on a comic book.Be an all around good film first and a homage to your source materialsecond. The animation seemed kind of sloppy, as well. In a time where3D technology is at its peak and Studio Ghibli and Disney are stillproducing top of the line hand drawn animated films, it's difficult notto notice when something like that isn't up to par. Maybe it's just theanime fan in me, but did the orange detonation balls in the film remindanyone else of the dragonballs from Dragonball Z? Jonah Hex is incredibly flawed and the film seems to try and make apoint to showoff its weak points more than anything, but it's shortenough that it doesn't seem like torture and tries to be as explosivelyentertaining as it can during that runtime. If Desperado and VanHelsing could somehow meet, spend a romantic evening together, and matethat resulted in offspring in the form of film, Jonah Hex would betheir love child.

blackmamba99971 2012-05-10 08:04:05

Not a bad remake.

From what I know of in the comics Jonah Hex was a man who gruesomelykills his foes. It was a little disappointing not to see such sceneswith make Jonah's character authentic. Megan Fox was for her part muchlike the character in the comic, lush, vibrant and able to kick butt.The film was a bit dark in some scenes, could have used betterlighting. Still the impact of using a nation killing weapon was a goodidea, albeit that most of the script was scrapped making this a veryshort film. That was also disappointing. But Josh Brolin did bring outthe meanness of Jonah Hex to the screen, and to me that was a bonus.Seeing him wipe out the bad guys without so much as a second thought,using either a gun or knife was a pleasure to watch. Jonah Hex's lifewas in turmoil, to be a bounty hunter which can be revived usingcrowfoot medicinal remedies. I found this movie to be a good summerfiller for the blockbusters coming soon. Until then, I think Jonah Hexcould use a makeover for a next instalment. That I can wait for.

Marshall Fine 2012-05-10 07:52:02

Everyone seems to be sleepwalking through this film. Except for Megan Fox, who is such a terrible actress that she couldn't even act like she's sleepwalking.

pcongleton-1 2012-05-09 19:05:37

At least we have a Tom Wopat sighting.

We open up this film with a positive. We are handed a story based on anobscure early-70s comic book that combines the great traditions of theWestern with the supernatural forces of the undead. Jonah Hex has beena steady mainstay in the DC/Vertigo comics since the 70s, but isconsidered almost totally unknown to those outside comic book circles,so every time I mention the movie to people I usually hear, "Jonahwho"? Anyway, that is where the fun ends. Being a "retired" comic bookfan myself, I too only saw a tiny sliver of the Jonah Hex mythos. Imaybe read one issue back in the 70s and what I remember from it wasthat it was a neat idea, but poorly executed to the point of beingsilly. I felt, even before I reached my teenage years, that Jonah Hexseemed a little ridiculous. Flash to 2010 and we have a block-busterHollywood movie starring Josh Brolin, John Malkovich and Megan Fox.Malkovich, the bad guy, has a huge canon that he plans on using onWashington, DC during the 100th anniversary celebration of America.Both Brolin and Malkovich look like they are just claiming a paycheckand Fox is useless in this film. It is a total waste of all three oftheir talents. We did have a Tom Wopat sighting which was interesting.It wouldn't be a silly western without Luke Duke. Even Will Arnett, whoplays a smarmy union officer, is no good in this too. None of thecharacters are likable. The most interesting and likable characters inthe whole film are Hex's two partners – his dog and his horse. Otherthan the dog, the horse, looking at Megan Fox and an interestingroot-idea for a film, the rest of it contains bad editing, poorconstruction and god-awful music. There are moments in the film whereour director Jimmy Hayward, tries to inter-cut different realities,with the current reality in the film to depict the torment in Hex'ssoul and to increase the tension of the scene, which turns out to besilly and distracting. Wow, an awful, silly, ridiculous moment in filmhistory. I guess a bad comic book made into a movie would become a badmovie. The only reason I didn't give it an "F", other than a fewreasons mentioned earlier, is the fact that Hollywood does have thespecial effects thing nailed down. Boy I am glad it was only 80 minuteslong and even then I couldn't wait to get out of the theater.

2012-05-02 17:15:58

Give it a pass

First Megan appears on Jennifer's body as demon possessed, now she plays a woman who trades her body for money in Jonah Hex. Just for your own thinking. I had expectations not high, but I still had them, that the movie would be fine to watch, but it was plain boring with ugly Jonah Hex and a lot of evil, damnation, few weapons which of course are very sci-fi,and a short plot. Jonah plays a dark hero who looks for vengeance and revenge. Stupid, not worth watching, waste of time.

Tim Evans 2012-05-02 07:57:47

There's plenty of bangs for your buck -- check out the dynamite-heavy ambush of a steam locomotive in the opening sequence.

Jim Vejvoda 2012-05-01 00:43:21

While Jonah Hex has its moments, it's ultimately yet another disappointing comic book adaptation.

bdgill12 2012-04-30 19:35:54

Not nearly as bad it was made out to be

Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) is a Civil War veteran turned bounty hunterwith a link to the afterlife that allows him to speak with the dead.When the safety of the newly reunited United States is threatened by aformer Confederate general (John Malkovich) who happens to be the sameman who killed Hex's family, President Grant (Aidan Quinn) calls on Hexto stop the attack and exact some revenge for good measure. A lot ofstuff blows up.First and foremost, "Jonah Hex" is by no means what I would call a goodmovie. There are too many plot holes, wasted moments, and editing screwups to ever confuse this with good. The pitifully short 81 minute runtime jumps from place to place with no foundation to hold it together.Screenwriters Neveldine and Taylor (that's what they go by, sadly)reportedly feuded with director Jimmy Hayward and ended up distancingfrom the finished product before it even hit theaters. And then there'sthe much maligned Megan Fox who's complete lack of acting ability couldsingle-handedly sink just about any movie. I almost feel bad for Ms.Fox. Because of her extreme level of attractiveness she will never beasked to learn her craft in order to get roles and yet at the same timewill always be cast in the same one dimension roles. She's gotabsolutely nowhere to go in this business and I think "Hex" is thestarting point for her rapid decline.With all that said, however, this movie is not nearly as bad as thescathing reviews it received would make it out to be. "Hex" has beenpainted as the worst movie of the year and may very well win theinfamous Razzie Award for Worst Picture at year's end. Maybe it'sbecause my expectations were completely nonexistent going in but I darnnear enjoyed about half of this thing. That enjoyment is due in largepart to the work of Josh Brolin who seems to bring his A game no matterwhat's going on around him. This movie reeks of "give up," as ifeveryone realized midway through production that this thing was headedSouth in a hurry and mailed in their performances. But not Brolin. Heseems hell bent on making Jonah Hex a viable franchise super hero andmakes the most out of every limited opportunity his surrounding castand crew give him to work with. As a result of Brolin's work (with alittle help from Michael Fassbender who does an admirable job in hisshort screen time as a maniacal sidekick-baddie) you get about 35minutes of a decent-enough comic book movie distributed through andovershadowed by the crap the rest of the film has to offer.Check out my site, the Soap Box Office:www.thesoapboxoffice.blogspot.com

collipal-1 2012-04-29 10:51:33

A deplorable and vomiting experience

My first encounter with Jonah Hex came in the precise moment (late90's) when I started to find out that the comics could go much furtherthan the typical superheroes which had initially captured my interestin that art.And even though I have never been an obsessive fan of thatcharacter, I enjoyed the black humor and bizarre tone from themini-series Two-Gun Mojo and Riders of the Worm and Such.Because ofthat, I had the hope that the very negative reviews received by thefilm Jonah Hex were due to the fact that the people had misunderstoodthe character, because he had never been really a hero, but a parody ofthe anti-heroes who are famous in the classic westerns.Needless to sayI was wrong...Jonah Hex ended up being an atrocious experience whichdid not work as an action movie, as a comic adaptation nor as awestern.The only thing I did not hate in Jonah Hex is Josh Brolin's solidperformance in the leading role; pity that he is caught in such a badmovie.The rest of the actors do whatever they can with their poorlywritten characters; someone who is authentically wasted is JohnMalkovich as the boring and lacking of any personality villain.Thescreenplay from Jonah Hex is nothing more than an incongruent mess ofconfusing situations, badly written characters and the most rancidclichés from the western genre.Ugh...and did I mention the music fromMarco Beltrami and the group Mastodon? That would have been aninteresting combination in any other case, but I found it to beabsolutely inappropriate to accompany a tedious story about cowboys,American pseudo-History and witchcraft.With the exception of Brolin's performance, I do not find anythingpositive to say about this movie.Besides of all the previouslymentioned defects, the action scenes are very badly filmed and edited,something which is exacerbated by the irregular cinematography.Insummary, Jonah Hex is a deplorable and vomiting film which, in myhumble opinion, is among the worst films I have seen in 2010.

darkmax 2012-04-28 22:57:51

Wow... What a waste of a comic character

Sigh.... Is it me or Megan Fox can't seem to get any better movie thanTransformers? It seems to me her movies are getting progressively worseas the count goes on.Here's a short and simple conclusion: She cannot act even if her lifedepended on it. She'll probably be better off as a playboy girlfriendor playmate.The story feels so linear and yet there are portions of it I felt weremissing a whole chunk. Is it just me? Or have they chopped this oneright up, so that it fits into the 100 minute mark? The effects werenothing fantastic. At some point towards the end of the movie, itwasn't even realistic.Could have spend the money making better movies. Definitely not worththe ticket price.