Genres

Visitors Review

2012-05-21 21:26:47

Oldschool good times!

When I saw the "red band" trailer for Larry Bishop's HELL RIDE I knew it was going to be a film worth checking out.Violence? It had it. Nudity? Oh yeah. Had they thrown in a little drug use it would have been the perfect mix. (hint: they did)A lot of folks may remember Larry Bishop as the sleazy owner of the nudie bar Bud worked at in Kill Bill 2. He chewed up the scenery in the 5 mins or so he was on camera. After doing a little googling, I found out he was the son of Joey Bishop and the star of a hand full of 1970s biker flicks.Since Tarantino is a "huge fan" of everything and everyone we've never heard of- it goes without saying that he had seen all of Bishop's films and invited him in for that cameo.He also told Bishop that it was his duty to write, direct and star in the 'Ultimate Biker Movie'.Not necessarily the existential road movie that EASY RIDER was, but a throwback to the sleazy grindhouse biker flicks of years past. Did he?Oh yeah. The casting choices were amazing. Bishop himself, Michael Madsen, Vinnie Jones, Dennis Hopper and David Carradine and the ever lovely Laura Cayouette all fill their roles perfectly. Out of context the dialogue would be cheesey. But you put Madsen on a chopper in a tuxedo and it makes perfect sense.The film is violent with liberal amounts of nudity. Don't watch it with the kids around. Don't watch it expecting a documentary on outlaw bikers- but watch it!

Stan Hall 2012-05-21 09:28:04

Instead of a sublimely ridiculous and sleazy bike-movie homage, Bishop delivers self-amused, emptily crude faux-grindhouse that only fanatics of the genre will excuse.

2012-05-15 15:12:25

I will never get those minutes of my life back....

Let's see;1. Stiff and uninspiring acting? Check2. Weak, awkward and clichéd dialog? Check3. Ineffective or dull camera work? Check4. No semblance of an interesting story to be found? Check.5. People cast simply due to their star power in order to attract their fans? Check.6. Poorly chosen props? Check.7. Instantly forgettable characters? Check.8. A lack of anything engaging enough to make one actually care what the point of the film is? Check.9. Plenty of young, naked females? Check.10. Absolutely ridiculous character names? Check.Reading the above, it might sound like I was reviewing a pornography film, and with Hell Ride, that's almost true. Sadly, even for porn's standards, Hell Ride is garbage. I've seen better plots with similar character performance and dialog from titles in the adult section. I totally understand what it was supposed to be, but it just never quite got there and remained entertaining, engaging or relevant. The dialog all feels forced, with the 2-second pauses between every new sentence or exchange not helping that at all. It sounded like listening to nearly illiterate adults trying to read which makes it hard to get immersed or even interested in. The plot felt like an afterthought, tacked on wherever there was a convenient place to stop and show bland flashbacks and tripping scenes. It wouldn't surprise me if the more gratuitous nudity was added after the fact once they saw the rough cut of the film and realized that it was completely devoid of anything worth spending time with the film for. If my movie sucked this bad, I'd probably load it up with slutbunnies too, At least the girls were mostly hot, until they or anyone else on camera started reciting the garbage that passed for dialog in this script.

tyler-and-jack 2012-05-15 09:31:33

A bunch of easy riders can't save this from being too hard going.

Oh, I just can't be bothered. No, really. Why put more effort intoreviewing a film that took very much effort to make? Larry Bishop wroteand directed the thing and, wouldn't you know it, also bags the leadrole so let's just blame him for everything here. For takingsubstandard material and trying to sell it to us as some slice of coolthat could sit alongside the films of Quentin Tarantino and RobertRodriguez. For dragging the late, great Dennis Hopper into it (okay,he's the best thing in it and he's done plenty of other bad movies butit's still a shame to see his talent wasted in trash like this). Forhaving Michael Madsen approach his maximum level of coolness once againand then not do anything worthy with the guy.The story is just rubbish. A bunch of bikers dislike another bunch ofbikers. They keep taunting each other at distance until things build upto a showdown (after everyone has proved their loyalty or been suitablypunished for having ideas above their station).Bishop is okay, I suppose, in the lead role. Madsen and Hopper havemoments of greatness, despite what they have to work with, and EricBalfour = *shrug*. David Carradine has a small role, women appear andget nekkid and Vinnie Jones is given the worst of the dialogue and hasto deliver them with a terrible accent.The soundtrack has a couple of decent tunes on there and there are oneor two moments that look pretty good but that's it. The rest of thething is a mess. It jumps about in time and keeps bringing characterswe don't know or care about on screen but that's okay because it's allcool, right? Wrong. Don't waste your time with this one, watch Macheteagain instead.

2012-05-11 17:26:00

Hell Ride - Blu-ray Info

Version: U.S.A / Region A, B(?), C(?)Aspect ratio: 2.35:1MPEG-4 AVC BD-50 / High Profile 4.1Running time: 1:23:49Movie size: 19,42 GBDisc size: 22,82 GBAverage video bit rate: 23.55 MbpsDolby TrueHD Audio English 3354 kbps 5.1 / 48kHz / 24-bit / 3354kbps (AC3 Core: 5.1 / 48kHz / 640kbps)Dolby Digital Audio English 640 kbps 5.1 / 48kHz / 640kbpsDolby Digital Audio English 192 kbps 2.0 / 48kHz / 192kbpsSubtitles: English SDH / SpanishNumber of chapters: 16#Commentary by Writer/Director/Producer#Featurettes--The Making of Hell Ride--The Babes of Hell Ride--The Guys of Hell Ride--The Choppers of Hell Ride#Michael Madsen's Video Diary#Theatrical Trailer

2012-05-11 02:19:43

It's Grindhouse Baby!

This review is from: Hell Ride (DVD) I just saw Hell Ride in Times Square-yeah, sure the formerly porno palace is now a spiffy 25 theater spread-Most "Disney" "Little Mermaid" types have no idea that Times Square EVER had a "seedy" past... LOL!Hell Ride was meant for New York City!Tarantino Rocks! I DUG this film. Kill Bill on bikes. This movie was shot in a stream of consciousness style of film-making... What gems does Mr. Tarantino have for us next, i wonder?

Amy Nicholson 2012-05-10 11:10:30

The main problem is Bishop's adamancy on playing the lead tough guy when he's got the face of a shoe salesman.

Andy Klein 2012-05-09 19:12:54

Bishop ... seems to have thrown his prolonged-adolescence wet dream up on the screen, and I don't mean that in an entirely negative way.

p-stepien 2012-05-02 01:16:29

Cool as turd

This is your essential homage movie with retro-classic feel and someattempt at copy-pasting full with your 70s actors like David Caradineor Dennis Hopper. You have cool guys in cool jackets on cool motorswith cool guns slinging out cool lines riding around to cool music withhot ass chicks constantly stripping or talking about their pussiesbeing on fire. All in all it was just so UNCOOL.It felt like a lame Tarantino ripoff and to my surprise Tarantino wasthe exec producer behind this turd (and the Weinsteins had something todo with it as well). I have lost any feel to actually what kind ofmovies Tarantino likes, but the fact he thought this flick was worthdoing shows me why I have lost faith in him in the last 10 years.Really it has no script and its all about guys on bikes drinking booze,getting laid and then murdering each other.Really a pathetic excuse for a movie. Unfortunately the quality of theshoot suggests that a hefty amount was thrown at this lame attempt of ahomage.Run before hell freezes over you!

2012-05-01 22:25:03

Awful.

This review is from: Hell Ride (DVD) I had high hopes for this movie since it appeared to be in the vein of the other recent Grindhouse releases (Death Proof, Machete, Planet Terror), and it had Quentin Tarintino's name slapped on the front as Executive Producer. Sadly, this movie lacked everything. Larry Bishop seems to be trying way too hard (his acting is just awful). The plot is weak and hardly makes sense, the characters are undeveloped, and it was all around boring. Big name actors here, but none of them could save this film. This movie is not worth even the $7 it costs here on amazon. If it was free, it still wouldn't be worth your time.

2012-04-29 20:33:49

hell ride

a film thats a bit mixed up timewise. strange storyline but the actors are the best

czarnobog 2012-04-29 13:32:46

Campy B Movie Biker Fun

It puzzles me how people can be slamming this movie for its B movievalues, when it's a consummate B movie! What did you expect from abiker movie called Hell Ride?Contrary to some of the complaints expressed here, the acting in thismovie is quite good. It's tongue-in-cheek campy, but it's effective andfits the tone of the film perfectly. Dennis Hopper may appear to be alittle shaky -- Duh! He was terminally ill at the time he made this.It's cool that he was able to actually ride a bike at his age, and niceof the producers to provide him with a sidecar. His appearance is afitting tribute to his birth as a star in Easy Rider, the role whichput him on the map, just as this movie is a worthy tribute to bikermovies. The cinematography is top grade. The music is appropriately twangy andthe soundtrack is well mixed, with the throaty growl of the vintage bigtwins adding a nice authenticity to the riding scenes. Unlike the old Bbiker films of the 60s and early 70s, the rides in this flick are real"biker" bikes. Vintage Harleys and Indians etc. not just dirt bikestweaked up for stunt work.The casting and costumes are sexy. The screenplay is not exactlyShakespeare but is good for what it is; an excuse to showcase theaction, humor and"drive-in" style gratuitous T'n'A. The dialog ispunchy and the story has enough twists to keep you guessing. Editing iscrisp.In a nutshell, the production values are what you'd expect from aDimension movie. Slicker than usual for a lower budget film. The only knock is the intro of the characters, which uses the overdone"modern" device of subtitled intros, but this is a minor complaintabout a directorial cheat that some viewers probably find clever.If you like B movies, drive-in movies or biker movies, put your feet upand check it out. If you're offended by violence and nudity, go watchsomething else. It's a biker movie!

bigtravatx 2012-04-27 01:08:37

What a mess...

This movie is what happens when something is glorified beyond anyreality of its origins. A poor mans "shoot'em up" and "Grindhouse" That being said, its worthwatching on DVD for a few of the really funny/cool/biker moments in themovie.Its an entertaining movie to watch with that friend who appreciateshorrible movies trying to hard to be horrible.Some of cameos make it worth it also.This flick is a: Watch under the right conditions movie, and don't takeit seriously.

Felix Vasquez Jr. 2012-04-26 07:34:09

A revenge and biker warfare bonanza that will appeal to the folks who loved masterpieces like "The Warriors" and "Switchblade Sisters"...

rollopalms 2012-04-24 21:33:11

A ton of B stars in a C movie

This is one of those movies that you can enjoy while your brain isoutside of your head. The writing, acting, and directing are somediocre that this film probably should have been animated to savesomeone money. That said, it was enjoyable and it was nice to seen damnnear every active B actor/actress make an appearance in this film.My advice: This is a decent film as long as you have no expectations.You should also consider getting high and/or drunk while watching asthis will improve the quality of the picture.Notes:The sex scenes are very softcore and should be the reason to watch thisfilm.Micheal Madison must owe a lot of child support because he seems toaccept every job thrown at him. How do you go from Kill Bill and SinCity to this?There is very little gore in this film, much less than QT would haveasked for. But QT wasn't really part of this project and I doubt theyhad the budget for really good gore.Vinne Jones has pretty much admitted that his USA acting career is overwith this role. It's one thing to agree to a B-movie, but to not evenput real effort into the role?The ending should have gotten Larry Bishop shot of plagiarism.

Wesley Morris 2012-04-24 04:52:09

The whole thing feels like the sort of picture Tarantino would make if he weren't such an ingenious B-movie artist: a genre exercise that's more studious than entertaining.

chaos-rampant 2012-04-22 08:58:55

A glitzy, slick, 80 minute music video cash-in on Grindhouse that captures none of the grindhouse spirit

Because that's what Hell Ride pretty much is. Larry Bishop andTarantino partying on the Weinstein's money with the promise to delivera movie sometime down the line. I'm all for fake boobage and booze asmuch as the next guy but did we really need the movie? Really there'snothing worse than the reheated second-hand leftovers of an old trend.And I'm not even talking about 70's grindhouse cinema because Hell Ridehas none of the raw and unpolished feel of the era it purports to payhomage to. No, this is slick and glossy MTV Hollywood through andthrough. The old trend I'm talking about is the self-consciouslypseudo-hip quirky cinematic world where Tarantino meets Guy Ritchie andRobert Rodriguez. All three guys were at least talented and foundsuccess for a reason. Hell Ride is just a second-hand copy, fickle anduninspired, polished to the max when it should be raw, the "supercool"aspect coming off forced and silly.There's no reason for example why such a simple and utterly inane storyhas to be told in convoluted, back-and-forth in time fashion. It's justa post-Tarantino quirk. There's also no reason why the dialogues haveto be so mind-numbingly pointless, people flapping their gums whilesaying NOTHING: at least when Travolta was talking about cheeseburgersin Pulp Fiction it felt fresh. Dialogues here amount to little morethan pseudo-macho posturing. There's also no reason why a gratingrock'n'roll guitar has to twangle aimlessly over the entire movie.Perhaps the lowest Hell Ride hits is when it tries to bequasi-existential. There's a hilarious dream/illusion scene in thedesert where Bishop eats peyote and sees colours. I was half-expectingan old Indian to come out and offer nuggets of wisdom.The only saving grace of this abysmal turd is the boobage and VinnieJones' monologue about his wings tattooes (and maybe some of the desertexterior shots). Lots of boobage and hot scantily clad babes. Nowthat's something I can get behind but a movie they don't make.Everything else is just an empty shell, an imitation of otherinfinitely more talented imitators.

m_vanhees 2012-04-22 05:10:48

Not for everyone but no where near as bad as some people make it out to be

I went into this movie expecting the worst after reading all theprevious comments. Everyone's entitled to their opinion but to say thisis the worst movie ever is ridiculous.I was fairly entertained through out the entire movie and am glad idecided to check it out. I thought the acting was pretty good. Yes thedialogue could have been better in some parts but who cares really.At times i was a little confused but that just made me want to watchmore and find out what was going on.I VERY rarely write a review but with all the negative comments thoughtI'd voice an opinion.

James Rocchi 2012-04-20 14:12:53

Anyone who isn't full-throttle fascinated with outlaw biker culture and coasting on their hazy memories of motorcycle-gang flicks of the past will probably realize early on, as I did, that Hell Ride is running on fumes without a real destination in mind.

2012-04-19 20:19:49

People dont seem to "get" this movie. i think i did.

Many people are bashing this movie as being a "tribute" to Tarantino, or damn it in comparison to Easy Rider. Both points of contention couldn't be farther from the truth. First, this movie pays tribute to classic biker movies such as "hells angels on wheels" "The Glory Stompers," and "The Wild Angels." I enjoy all these movies for what they are, cheaply made, mostly poorly acted, but with plenty of sex, violence, and motorcycles to go around. Hellride is a very faithful tribute to this cannon of movies. Bad acting? Trippy party scenes? Gratuitous nudity? Violence? Hipster soundtrack? All are there. Like all these movies, the bikes themselves are the most artfull, well constructed features of the films. Now, as for comparisons to Easy Rider, it must be stated that the 1969 classic was NOT A BIKER MOVIE. The choppers are only the vesels that propel the protagonists to there destiny. It is about trying to be individuals, but being damned to sell out in the end. It is about the duality of the American individual. In the end, what may condemn Hell Ride, is the same thing that condemned the Grindhouse feature. Very few people under the age of 50 recognize what these movies are paying homage too, and i am probably one of the few. As a 27 year old, these movies remind me of my childhood watching 70's car chase and chopper movies with my father, a 1970's greaser now forced to settle into fatherhood. Go watch Peter Fonda in "the wild angels" followed by "Hell Ride" and you'll realize that they came from the same drug filled vein.