Genres

Visitors Review

Elliott Manley 2013-05-23 16:18:36

It's not so bad

OK, I had several advantages in watching Gladiatress...- I had read the terrible reviews and had the lowest possibleexpectations, so I wasn't going to be disappointed.- I watched it with a glass of good wine and in the company of twofriends who had happy memories of their fun time as extras (and we evenmanaged to catch glimpses of them) - I recognised every single locationshot - all within a few miles of my home So, you have to weigh thiswhen I say we all enjoyed it. We all laughed aloud lots of times.It also looks great. Much higher production values than you'd expectfor a movie of this type. Partly this is down having borrowed equipmentand costumes from the multi zillion dollar Gladiator. But it is also awell-made movie in its own right (OK, it's not Once upon a Time in theWest - but neither is it On The Buses).And Sally Phillips is just scrummy. She can do no wrong as far as I'mconcerned. And, apparently, she is a very nice person too.So... this is never going to be on anyone's Top Ten, but give it achance. I think some of the negativity it's had is completely over thetop. I hope it does get a theatrical release - I think it deservesthat.

TheOtherFool 2013-05-23 10:58:33

Number 13... on my bottom 100

Close to such classics as Glitter and Midnight Tease we find thisincredibly dull spoof (?) of Gladiator and other Roman Era films, withsome sort of odd feminism throughout the entire 'movie'.When 1 of three sisters, nobody less than an English princess, iskidnapped by the Romans, the other two set out to free her. Some sillygags, idiotic characters and stupifying fighting scenes later I had notlaughed but once, when the character with the oh so funny nameWorthaboutapig is beheaded, as I hoped that would finally shut her up.But too bad...If you're an individual with any sense left, leave this film alone. Infact, stay away from it as far as possible. This movie is definitelyworth much less than a pig. 1/10.

Neil Welch 2013-05-23 11:49:41

Doesn't work completely, but has merit

Three British sisters - a chieftaness, a loser, and a warrior, getinvolved with the invading Romans.Ostensibly a feminist spoof of Gladiator, this is actually essentiallya feature-length sketch from the Channel 4 sketch show Smack The Pony,providing a vehicle for the three women performers to do their thing.In practical terms, this means that Fiona Allen comes out best, sinceher warrioress demands underplaying: conversely the overacting of DoonMackichan and Sally Phillips, which works quite well in the context ofa sketch show, becomes irritating and downright exhausting after halfan hour. The film is 89 minutes long, so draw your own conclusions.The script is not bad, roaming between situation comedy, slapstick,wordplay, daftness, and wit. And, for a low budget film, it looks moreexpensive than it is, although you are unlikely to mistake it for a bigbudget blockbuster.

Tyferra 2013-05-22 17:39:24

Not worth a pig.

This movie was possibly the worst movie I've ever seen. That may beoverly harsh because I have seen "Anaconda" and "Pearl Harbour" andeven parts of "Son of the Mask" but quite honestly, this film gave me aheadache.Okay, good things... good things... well, the acting was pretty good.On to the not-so-good things. It was confusing. I mean, there wassomething about Romans and Britons, divine intervention, somethingabout bees was mentioned, a kidnapping, a brief fight or something,coming back form the dead, a tunnel, a duck... I mean, it was too muchrandom stuff thrown into a blender with the hope that it would turn outall right.Someone told me it was a comedy once, but only ONE of my group offriends gave anything resembling a laugh once, (at the final line ofthe film.) I'd be quite prepared to admit that I simply 'didn't get it'because it had heart, proved by the fact that I feel bad for writingthis. However, it was a waste of 80 minutes and a waste of the pizza Imindlessly consumed while my brain was straining to find a plot.I take back what I wrote about it being the worst movie ever, but itwas certainly the most confusing.

music2 2013-05-17 15:42:12

"Smack The Gladiator"- seriously underrated

The girls of UK comedy TV show "Smack The Pony" take on the "Gladiator"story- like an answer to the lads of "Spaced" doing "Shaun Of The Dead"(except that "Gladiatress" was filmed at the same time, or possiblyeven first?) It's a real shame that this film got overlooked, andpossibly even buried, in the shadow of "Shaun Of The Dead" as it's afunny film in it's own right. There are a lot of parallels in the stylebetween the two films though. For a start, I was falling off my seatwith laughter in both films.Like "Shaun..", a lot of the jokes wouldn't be funny if you had onlyever seen them written down- a lot of the real comedy is in thedelivery. For example the line "I don't even know where Rome is...s***..."- dull written down but laugh-out-loud when you hear SallyPhillips saying it. Also like "Shaun..", it's really vulgar in partsbut never too much, and even though you don't expect to, by the endyou're empathising with characters you thought at the beginning of thefilm you couldn't possibly like.My only criticisms would be that the first ten minutes are a bit shaky-which might explain why this film has got some poor reviews, as itdoesn't leave a good first impression. Also, Doon Mackichan is,surprisingly, a bit weak through some parts of the movie, which is ashame as Fiona Allen and Sally Phillips are on top form. Oh, and thetag-line "does my Gluteus Maximus look big in this?" isn't funny, andit under-sells the film. But these are all minor points, and don'treally detract from the entertainment.The reviewer who commented on the "odd feminism" in the film has, in myopinion, firmly grabbed the wrong end of his stick (or has problemslistening to women as equals). If he was expecting a sexywomen-in-leather soft porn, this film happily isn't that. It isn't achick-flick either- you don't have to be one gender or the other tolaugh at this film.In a nutshell, if you liked "Shaun Of The Dead", and/or "Smack ThePony" on TV, this is worth hunting down a copy of. I eventually had toget a legitimate DVD copy from the Netherlands in order to see it- thisfilm is too good to go unnoticed!

Svante Börjesson 2013-05-17 05:14:06

A great uplifting comedy about tits and bravery

Not brilliant, but definitely worth watching. British humor at it'salmost best and a very feminine type of humor to, in the greattradition of Absolutely Faboulous and Bridget Jones. Girl Power comedy.I think it's wonderful that we have come that far that women can beportrayed as pathetic and miserable but still sympathetic, as they arein movies like Gladiatress and Bridget Jones Diaries. It's womens turnto be allowed to be ridiculous - a domain which has been strictly maledominated until recently.Above all I like that the movie show how superior, in practicallyeverything, except for farting, the Romans were. They were cleaner, atebetter, behaved better and above all, they locked better. "What havethe Romans ever given to us" - Life of Brian. British men don't getmuch credit in this one. The movies heretical mixture of past andpresent also makes it one of those few really good comedies thatdoesn't take itself too seriously without becoming just silly andboring.

gargoylejah 2013-05-08 11:23:59

Laughable, but then again, so was Gladiator, Troy and Alexander!

At this this film was TRYING to be funny! OK, OK so it isn't amasterpiece of comedic cinematography...but, as an archaeologist, therewere some rather chucklicious moments! The warrior-sister's moralconundrum (how can she go back to slaughtering people and chopping offtheir heads after she's had children?!) was brilliant...especially withthe advice from the Pictish couple (complete with tattoos and severedheads around their necks!).The film actually surpassed the great, lumbering fiasco Gladiator andTroy in its accuracy of the costume, settlements, etc. Heck, they evengot the British Iron Age Tribal names right! It helped that most of theCeltic scenes were filmed at Butser Ancient Farm. The only reallyserious faux pas in that arena were the Roman legionaries'equipment...jeeez, if they really borrowed props from Gladiator, youwould have thought they could have scored a few accurate suits ofarmour! That said, I thought the depiction of the smarmy, effeminateRomans was excellent! You could almost HEAR Eddie Izzard lilting"Helloooo.....we are the Romans! Yes, we are!" Bottom line...don't gointo this film expecting to laugh your arse off...but it is worthy of afew grins and snickers.

pkr2000 2013-05-08 07:40:33

There are worse films

Hadn't heard anything about this film but spotted that it had most ofthe cast from Smack The Pony so thought it might be worth a watch. Ifelt it wasn't as funny as the their series, which I think is just OK.The story ans script are very poor. I watched some of the extras andthey talk about how quickly the guy wrote it, well it shows. Not tomention that I don't believe the port of Deal is between Ramsgate andSandwich, but then again I don't think they were going for accuracy ;)However, despite all that I thought it was entertaining. I think itboils down to the fact that those girls just make me laugh, just themstanding in a muddy field amuses me!?? Would I recommend it? Wellprobably not, I think you'd be better off getting an old Blackadderout, same type of jokes but at least they were original 15 years ago.

sarastro7 2013-05-05 08:54:05

Not great, not horrible - more like mediocre

It's funny how people apparently either hate or love this movie. Everyuser comment either gives it a "1" rating or above a "7" - it's a goodthing we have the average, then, which in this case for once isactually very accurate: this movie is worth about a "4".It has funny elements, though not many for a movie that's supposed tobe a comedy. The portrayal of Celtic-Britannic culture (incl. somePicts) is entertaining and even a little educational, and the movie'smain strength lies in its realistic portrayal of what would happen tosomeone who tried to rescue a family member from being kidnapped by theRomans: she becomes a slave herself.The funniest thing about the movie is probably the way we haveWorthaboutapig crossing the English channel and then instantly thinkingthat the Roman colony she finds there ("Boulogne" = Paris) is actuallyRome itself. For some ignorant clan member who's never been to thecontinent before, and certainly never seen the capital of a majorcivilization (to say nothing of a map), that's actually extremelyrealistic. And the anachronistic line "When in Rome...!" just has thatextra little punch, when we know that she isn't actually in Rome afterall.There are a bunch of details to like in this movie - the productionvalues, for instance, and that terrifically nonchalant Germangladiator, Schlaffwaffe -, but it's just not funny enough, overall.It's too understated, has very few scenes approaching the memorable,and just strikes me as too self-indulgent. Fart and crotch jokesabound, which are tasteless and unfunny. The characters are cardboards.As a whole the movie is a disappointment, but at least it marginallyholds your interest throughout. That, at least, is something.

chatfan 2013-05-04 17:05:37

Very silly, very funny but probably to subtle for most.

This is a very funny movie. Just finished watching it and can only sayI was pleasantly surprised. It is full of little jokes, but unlike themoronic "meet the Spartans", these jokes are clever. Typical Englishwordplay and silly modern day parallels and plays on pretty much everycultural stereotype. It seems like this movie is full of strong funroles for women and the guys just don't really count. Italians speaka lika da pizzamanna.. its actually funny to see in amovie like this and Celtic warrior women looking for love in a very"special" way.Considering the crap thats been coming out of Hollywood and labeled"comedy" its hard to imagine this one got overlooked.