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Visitors Review

onlyihavethisname 2012-05-25 19:16:19

worst movie ever made

well, i went into the cinema with no expectations about the movie,having never played with the toys as a kid, not really seen any of thetrailers or hype, and not read any of the reviews about it. To behonest, the only reason i even went to see it is because i had alreadyseen time travellers wife. i was not disappointed, i had noexpectations and left the cinema after 2 hours wondering what on earthi had just been watching. to anyone thinking about paying to see thismovie, save your money, buy a brightly coloured tin of paint, and abrush, and watch that dry instead. it will be more entertaining, ipromise, and you will have a newly painted wall to show for the efforttoo.OK, so lets diagnose the movie. the beginning starts out o.k. but..hang on... the beginning seems to be the same as the middle.. and theend.. in fact, the entire movie is essentially just an especially longsequence of fancy effects sequences.so, it begins and some cool suited people beam down and steal somewarheads or something, and some other cool suited people come and tryto stop them but fail. there is lots of shooting and explosions andfancy aeroplanes.then, they all go off to some big base and talk about the stolenweapons for a few minutes, and then there is more shooting andexplosions and cool vehicles.then, they go off to Paris, apparently going after the warheads orsomething and there is more cool suits and shooting and aeroplanes, andyou get the picture.oh yeah, then, at the end, one of the guys turns to metal for somereason.ultimately, the problem with this movie is that its the sort of movieyou would get if you asked a 5 year old to script and direct it. itssimilar to transformers, x-men, iron man etc except with the mainprotagonists being entirely uninteresting characters with nodiscernible personality traits other than being "good guy" or "badguy".The acting and story are about as plastic as the toys the movie isbased on.

hibsdaft_1 2012-05-25 02:47:45

Cheesy Kids Film

I think this film was not worth the effort to go and see. Thecharacters are so cheesy and the plot line is so predictable and onedimensional. Bascily for a lot of the script it felt like the directorhad just stolen parts of other story's such as Star Wars' Death Starfor the underwater lair and the Duel scene between the ninja's! Theyeven managed to squeeze a bit of Independence Day in when Duke isfleeing in the miniature submarine. Also I don't understand why peopleinsist on using actors who cannot clearly display an accent tied intothe script, they where awful! Some of the Scottish accents actuallyoffended me and the rest of the people in the audience! Not to mentionthe fact that the director seems to think we all speak in Celtic? You'dbe lucky to meet anyone who spoke Gaelic which is the actual name ofthe language. All in all the film was a let down and will be nothingmore than a film to watch with your pre-teen kids. Even so if they havean ounce of taste they probably would not like this either.

2012-05-24 13:32:19

Not as terrible as I thought it would be

Maybe it's because it didn't resemble GI Joe in any way at all and I forgot that it was supposed to be GI Joe, but as a straight up action movie it really wasn't terrible. The only time it remotely resembled GI Joe was during the scenes with COBRA. Although I did Hate Cobra Commander's mask at the end. They should have just had him put on a hood like in the cartoon. I did like Zartan, and Destro though.I hope for the sequel they make it feel like basically a live version of the old cartoon series except have people actually get shot.

2012-05-24 06:07:01

Could have bin better

I went to go see this movie with my dad and it bad and good at the same time C.G.I The Rise Of Cobra is ok not the best I hate movies with so much cgi in it and this is one of them.

jose cuervo 2012-05-15 06:57:33

Shite

predictable. too much CGI. No Story. Bad acting. Why give it more than1 star? While I was in a sneak preview of the movie, even the sponsorof the preview said "this is not a GI JOE movie if you're a fan of GIJOE. if you're not a fan of GI JOE, why are at the movie?"After waiting to watch this movie, too much story given to Destro, avery lame version of Cobra Commander - which is horrible.Why do we have 60 percent of this movie CGI, for that money you can getstuntman and great stunt-work, make-up.It's NOT CALLED "the great American hero" because they have 10 minutessout of a 2 hour movie actually filmed in the US!Don't waste your time. Even for free tickets.

2012-05-14 14:27:34

GIJoe geat movie

This review is from: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Two-Disc Edition) [Blu-ray] (Blu-ray) That movie is really amaizing. Visual effects and audio the best... watch it folks..

trbasurto 2012-05-13 23:07:05

Great Movie and held up to its name.

I don't know who put on the web that this movie did not live up to itname but my son is 6 years old and now he watches the G I Joe episodesthat I watched as a child and loves them. I feel that all thecharacters, even Marlon Waynes aka Ripp-Cord (who is my sons favoritecharacter), has layed a great base for the stories and that it hashelped him understand where mommy has came from as a child. I pleadfrom the both of us that you make a second edition to this and continueto do so because it has made a difference in the both of us. My sonwould also like to add that He is a big fan of Duke too only because noone can make him bow down. Not even Cobra Commander. Thank You Lana andDemarcus

springsunnywinter 2012-05-13 07:47:35

G I Joe: Rise of an entertaining and rocking movie

G I Joe: Rise of Cobra is not a masterpiece or is going to the Oscarsor anything like that. It is just a fun popcorn movie that has morethan enough to keep you entertained.I was really looking forward to this movie when the first time heardabout it because it is directed by Stephen Sommers and I really likehis style of film making. Not every single movie is worthy to watch onthe big screen but his films are such as The Mummy, The Mummy Returns,Van Helsing and now G I Joe: Rise of Cobra.The movie was absolutely awesome, it had amazing action, advancedtechnology, brilliant costumes, hundreds of vehicle explosions,reasonable storyline and twist & turns.My most favourite parts are the chase scene in Paris & the test of thenano technology on the Eiffel tower not just because it had the mostaction but also because it was very well directed and the cameras wereabsolutely still so you can see what's happening and I loved it.Overall there is nothing more you can ask from a movie like this and Iintend to get it on blu ray.

Chaz_233 2012-05-11 07:10:48

Lots of fun

I went to see this mostly because Sienna Miller looked amazing in thepreview and she sure looks fine in this movie. But the movie as a wholesurprised me in how much fun and non-stop action it was. I'm glad tosay the the "critics" are flat out wrong on this one and am happy tosee that audiences responded well.This movie has a great pace- there are several non-stop action sceneswith some breaks in between where the Joes gather at headquarters, orwhen we get some background about the characters. There's a lot ofstory here, this is not a mindless Michael Bay CGI-fest. There areactually some funny lines and the characters' relationships with eachother are well-developed.A new devastatingly destructive weapon is developed by the MARScorporation. They seek to sell it to NATO. But the people at MARS don'texactly have the world's best intentions in mind. The military team incharge is ambushed as they transport this weapon by a mysterious groupwith powerful weapons. But the GI Joes intervene and two military guysask to join the Joes to recover the weapon.The two main Joes are Duke and Ripcord- horribly played by a painfullymiscast Marlon Wayans- yes that's the skinny Wayans playing a militaryguy! Otherwise we have a great cast: the gorgeous Sienna Miller, RachelNichols- not looking bad either, Arnold Vosloo, Jonathan Pryce, DennisQuaid, Channing Tatum- all of them doing a great job.There are plenty of action scenes, the most amazing one, acar/motorcycle/foot chase scene in Paris that's just mind-blowing andremarkably well done. The third act taking place underwater is almostunnecessary, or should have been shortened. This is a long movie andthe Paris scene would have made for a good climax. Overall this movie is a lot of fun and it is not insultingly dumb asmost blockbusters.

brando647 2012-05-10 22:44:41

The Best of the Worst, Summer 2009

GI JOE was the best of the worst of the summer of 2009. It wasn't aspainful to watch as TRANSFORMERS 2 or WOLVERINE; instead, it managed tokeep me entertained. It may have been that I was able to enjoy thismovie because, unlike the other "hot" summer movies of the year, itdidn't have far superior previous installments to set my sights highbefore going into the theater. Or it may just have been that StephenSommers recognized that his movie was campy, brainless, popcorn fun andhe embraced it and ran with it. Based on the popular Hasbro line(comics, toys, cartoons, etc.), the film has the Joe team in a raceagainst time against Scottish arms dealer James McCullen (ChristopherEccleston) before he can unleash his nanomite warheads. Of course, theonly aspect of this movie that feels important is that it establishesthe enemy organization Cobra, meaning guaranteed sequels.Similar to the films of Michael Bay, this movie is nothing but non-stopaction, with a minor pause here and there for plot exposition to keepthe audience informed as to who's shooting at who and why. Thefilmmakers do everything in their power to ensure you won't want/haveto think for the two hours you're watching their film. Fortunately, theaction scenes are pretty well done and make for a fun time. From startto finish, the film strings you along with a sequence of action scenes,ranging from a STAR WARS-esquire underwater battle to a fight in thestreets of Paris reminiscent of TEAM America (what's the point infighting to save a city if you destroy as much of it as the bad guys?).You can tell most of the casting seemed to be based on how well theactors'/actresses' look matched the character, as skill appears to takea vacation. Channing Tatum was one of the most wooden performances I'veseen since Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker in the STAR WARSprequels. Dennis Quaid (in a major supporting role as General Hawk)hams it up, reminding me of a blend of John Wayne and Harrison Ford inhis line delivery. Rachel Nichols was awkward, Marlon Wayans wasamusing, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt was WTF. Seriously, casting Levitt asthe "Doctor" is up there as one of the weirdest casting decisions I'veseen. The only performances I thoroughly enjoyed in the film wereChristopher Eccleston, Ray Park (Snake Eyes), and Byung-hun Lee (StormShadow).The movie is loaded with plot holes and poor logic. The acting wasmediocre, the CGI didn't always look right, and the story was nearlynon-existent. So what makes Sommer's film work? It's fun, above allelse, and I feel that's one of the most important aspects of a summerfilm. I'm not here to convince you that GI JOE's worth your time, I'mjust sharing my opinion so you have the knowledge to make your owndecision.And now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Blaisedinsd 2012-05-07 12:04:30

Massively Entertaining

This movie had everything that made Transformers cool with out the train wreck of a story. You can also always tell who is fighting who and can follow the action coherently and be satisfied the story makes some sense.Even the flash backs are full of action, get to their point, and get us back to the story for more action.If you got any 10-year old in you can enjoy the heck out of this movie.GI Joe was never as cool as Transformers for me growing up, but this movie is cooler than GI Joe ever was in it's own right and cooler than today's Transformers movies.It was way better than I thought it would be..exceeded expectations.

2012-05-07 04:57:22

Another brainless action

I had very high expectations for this movie, especially since it was highly recommended by my younger brother. I have to say, it did not meet my expectations and it was a poorly excuted movie to be honest.the biggest problem with it, was the poor character development, they really failed to build up solid characters. and i felt lost between all those characters whom i know nothing about and eventually not caring about any.the plot was simple. but nothing special.the other problem was the dialogue, this movie had one of the worst dialogues ever, was really boring and not intersting at all.having said that, i must admit that the action scenes and special effects were stunning at times, i especially enjoyed the street chase scene in Paris. but once the action stopped, the movie dragged and seemed boring and slow.I can see why some might give this 5 stars or find it entertaining, but in summary, i found it boring and worth only 2 stars for the mighty action scenes alone. a poorly excuted movie.

Alexander Chang 2012-05-04 08:39:44

Excellent, fast-paced action flick.

G.I. Joe is a thrilling experience.Yes, on RT it dropped from 93 - 41 pretty much overnight and it's notfaring excellently on IMDb with a 6.3 either. Don't let these badratings throw you off.It is an excellent action film. I think most will agree that the actionsequences are well directed, engaging, and pretty damn kickass. It'scertainly an edge of the seat experience right through the film. While that may be entertaining, it has its shortcomings too. The castand acting is average. For many this doesn't bother them, but you'vebeen warned. The plot is passable. While it's not complex or verysophisticated at all it's sufficient, well paced and really brings outthose action sequences.I've never been into the G.I. Joe figurines so I can't say much as towhether it delivers on its legacy, though many comment that they weredisappointed because of the axed characters and modified storyline.Yes, many characters were dropped but I'd imagine it'd be quitedifficult to have more than 8 characters in leading roles. So Iactually appreciate this decision on the directors part. The storylinestill contains the main elements present in the GI Joe franchise.The foremost point to remember is to not compare this with the actionfigures. It probably doesn't deliver on the franchise but as anindividual film, the director's vision has created an excellent piece.In closing, if you're looking for a STANDALONE well-paced and excitingflick, you won't be disappointed.

ennieday09 2012-05-03 13:33:03

A lower rating than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen? Now that's wrong

I will admit I wasn't expecting an epic classic movie out of G.I Joebut what I liked about it was that it was exactly what I expected it tobe and that is lots of cool action scenes and not too much over the tophumor. I add the title about Transformers because we all knowTransformers 2 did not live up to the hype and we all know the humor inthat movie is what pretty much ruined the film. G.I Joe however wasn'ttoo hyped, it made much more sense and it was much more satisfying inmy opinion. There were some pretty cheesy moments and the plot outlinewas sort of scattered around everywhere, but to be serious, a moviestarring Channing Tatum about a G.I Joe movie you can't expect goodacting or a serious plot. Enjoy the movie for what it is and that'sgreat and I mean GREAT action sequences. Lets hope the sequel takes thestory a little more serious next time.

MBunge 2012-05-03 21:57:56

All I can do is damn it with faint praise

Michael Bay should be tied down in a chair, his eyelids stapled open,and forced to watch this film over and over and over again until heunderstands that you can make a big, loud, dumb action movie without itbeing a complete and utter atrocity.Duke (Channing Tatum) and his best friend Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) areU.S. army officers serving as a part of NATO who are assigned to guarda new weapon as it's being transported across Europe. The weapon is ananotech warhead that essentially dissolves metal, designed by Scottisharms manufacturer James McCullen (Christopher Eccleston). Duke's convoyis attacked by high tech terrorists led by The Baroness (SiennaMiller), a woman with a connection to Duke's past, and he only fendsthem off with the help of an equally high tech military unit calledG.I. Joe. The rest of the movie is essentially Duke and his newfriends, General Hawk (Dennis Quaid), Heavy Duty (AdewaleAkinnuoye-Agbaje), Breaker (Said Taghmaoui), Scarlett (Rachel Nichols)and Snake Eyes (Ray Park) battling it out with The Baroness and herfriends, ninja badass Storm Shadow (Byun-hun Lee) and master ofdisguise Zartan (Arnold Vosloo). And yeah, the bad guys finally get thenanotech weapons and the good guys have to get them back, leading toone of those never ending CGI battles where the laws of physics areloaded into a rocket ship and fired into the heart of the Sun. We alsoget flashbacks of the relationship between Storm Shadow and Snake Eyesand of Duke and The Baroness' past and how it connects to their currentconflict.Don't get me wrong. This is a pretty bad film but it had the goodfortune of coming out the same summer as Transformers: Revenge of theFallen. It stinks, but the odor was barely noticeable next toTransformers, which stunk like a hog house that hasn't been cleaned outin 5 years. G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is overblown and shallow andgets stupider as it goes along, but at least it doesn't assault youevery single second it's on screen like a hammer to the ear and an icepick to the eye. While fairly idiotic, most of the story makes somevague logical and practical sense. While it never rises above crudemelodrama, there's not a bunch of extraneous crap roughly jammed in andweighing down the story.Also unlike Transformers 2, where every single thing in the movie wasan affront to human decency, there are only a few aggressively terribleparts to G. I. Joe. Channing Tatum is stiffer than a frozen corpse.Department store mannequins show more emotion. He makes Jean Claude vanDamme and John Cena look like master thespians. They could have castany other actor in the role of Duke, even Rip Torn or Kathleen Turner,and it would have been an improvement. They also need the take theperson who decided to make Snake Eyes a living action figure withplastic ab muscles and lips on his full-face mask and vigorouslyhorsewhip him. Lips on a mask? Ye gods. And especially offensive to G.I. Joe fans, this movie completely botches the character of CobraCommander. They screw him up as badly as the Fantastic Four filmsscrewed up Doctor Doom.I suppose some folks would also complain about how the movie hastransformed G. I. Joe from an American military unit into aninternational organization with soldiers from around the world and abase in Egypt of all places. Given the world we live in today, I'm notsure that's such a big deal.This is not a good movie. But if you've seen Transformers: Revenge ofthe Fallen…don't try and pretend you've got any standards. You might aswell watch G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

MoronUnited 2012-05-03 05:14:17

Pure Enjoyment

One of the most iconic franchises in American history, G.I. Joe hasbeen inspiring the minds of the American youth for decades. As a kid, Iplayed with the figures, spending hours upon hours setting up warscenes in the living room, using all of the furniture as the terrainfor the battlefield I had planned out in my head. Between the comicbooks and TV show, there was just no denying that G.I. Joe wasabsolutely awesome. Now, a live-action movie based on the franchise hadyet to be done.......until now. Is it the summer blockbuster moviegoerswill flock to, or just a miserable action mess? Evil has shown itshideous face on earth and the G.I. Joe organization refuses to let itprevail. Albeit simple, how much of a plot do you really need? Sure,there are a variety of characters each with their own dilemmas andwhatnot, but nobody gives a crap about that. We went to the theater tosee some spectacular action, and thankfully, that is just what the filmhas given audiences. The action sequences are enormous spectacles thatjust burst with excitement on the screen. Not only are the actionsequences terrific, but there are just so many of them that it'smesmerizing. Cars flipping over, explosions in public places......it'sabsolutely crazy. The creativity in which these action scenes arecreated with also adds to the entertainment factor. Audiences have seenexplosions and action sequences thousands of times in movies, but here,everything feels exciting and new to the point where it is trulyrefreshing. Also, even with a PG-13 rating, the action scenes don'tfeel cut and make audiences feel cheated like with many PG-13 actionmovies that are cut-down for the kiddies.Simply put, this is the way CGI should be used in movies. Instead ofrelying on CGI to create the movie from scratch, the creators used CGIas a tool to further enhance G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. This is notlike Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen in which everything is ajumbled mess of computer images vomiting across the screen. In G.I.Joe, everything has a distinct shape, making everything appear veryflashy and sophisticated. Sure, some brief clips here and there mayappear to be a tad bit rushed, but these are in very small numbers asthe rest of the movie is just a feast for the eyes. The machines aresleek, powerful and edgy, and everything maintains just the rightbalance between serious and silly. Too much silliness and the moviefeels cheap and crappy, and trying to hard to be serious leads tounintentional hilarity in which nobody is willing to believe what ishappening. The balance is perfect, though, and everything just reallyworks.As far as the acting is considered, these are not Academy Award winningperformances, but that's mainly due to the nature of the script asopposed to amount of talent each actor has. Dennis Quaid workssurprisingly well as General Hawk, and it really seemed like he washaving a good time filming the movie, which in turn helps audiencesfurther enjoy it. Other than that, the only real person that I mustmention is a completely random appearance by Brendan Fraser. He doesn'tserve much of a purpose in any way, but it's great to see him in anentertaining movie for a change. (Please Brendan, go back to beingawesome. Please?).G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra may not be a perfect movie, but it's justso enjoyable and fun that everything else is irrelevant. Many peoplewere skeptical right from the early announcement that the movie wouldbe live-action, but I can safely say that after all the anticipationand speculation, the movie was worth the wait. It's a refreshing actionmovie that celebrates its subject matter with plenty of the famouslines being said in the movie, and it just knows how to have a goodtime. Definitely check this one out in theaters since the spectacle itproduces on the big screen is fantastic. And now you know that youshould see G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra........and knowing is half thebattle.

2012-05-02 10:16:17

Awesome!

Loved the movie! Long time fans of the franchise should be happy because this is clearly a set up for future installments!!!

GoneWithTheTwins 2012-05-01 15:50:57

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Movie Review from The Massie Twins

For many, the outlandish threat of nanotechnology and biochemicalwarfare utilized by a technologically advanced arms dealer with a plotto rule the world might be slightly over-the-top, but when it comes tothe world of G.I. Joe, it's a rather fitting adversary for the elitemilitary group. But there's a difference between those generallyaccepting of such escapism in toy-based action movies and those whoactually possess knowledge of the vast array of characters from theHasbro-created world. Sadly, the latter group will be dismayed by thedrastic changes to their beloved organization (now an internationalgroup - so much for A Real American Hero). Costume alterations arealmost mandatory these days to avoid the brightly colored garb of onceawe-inspiring superheroes, but these Joes have suffered fromover-modernization and most are virtually unrecognizable from theircomic book and figurine counterparts. Not to mention their individualbackstories have undergone such extreme revisions it's a wonder theykept the same code names. At least plenty of stuff blows up.After a deadly biochemical weapon is stolen from their squad during atransport mission, Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans)are introduced to the G.I. Joe, an elite military group of specialoperatives. Joining the unit in a super-secret underground base knownas The Pit, under the command of General Hawk (Dennis Quaid), the twosoldiers team up with Snake Eyes (Ray Park), Scarlett (Rachel Nichols),Breaker (Said Taghmaoui), and more to stop a maniacal arms dealerhell-bent on world domination.G.I. Joe opens with the phrase "In the Not Too Distant Future," butshould have read "In a Galaxy Far, Far Away..." With the dizzyingamount of futuristic technology, boundless financing andall-encompassing intel, there isn't really anything in the film that'sgrounded in reality. Least of all the mechanical accelerator suits thatgive the wearer superhuman powers, the gargantuan undersea laboratoryor the nanomite warheads that eat through everything like GORT from theremake of The Day the Earth Stood Still. Few people will recall playingwith those creations from the Hasbro toy company. In terms offaithfulness to the original line of figurines that became a householdname in the 80s, about all that is retained are the names.Baroness goes through multiple outfit changes like a twisted darkBarbie, Dubble Bubble is now the official gum of the Joes, Ripcordhands out life lessons and theories on attraction and bizarrerelationships between the main characters conflict with every comicbook and cartoon show storyline before it. With a Wayans brother in thelead and a cameo by Brendan Fraser, the level of seriousness (or lackthereof) is immediately apparent. Even the CG is too ambitious,occasionally slacking on vehicle designs and movement. When a shot of acomputer animated polar bear is necessary, perhaps it's time to rethinkthe amount of graphics to utilize.Director Stephen Sommers also couldn't seem to eliminate the need forArnold Vosloo (who played the mummy in his earlier films) or pyramids.At least the director embraced nonstop action, destruction and generalmayhem (in what seems to be a competition against Roland Emmerich),which gives the film an undeniable level of excitement, even if it'sfrequently lessened by comical yet authentic "Knowing is half thebattle!" blurbs. Duke sums it up when he exclaims, "That was crazy! Ididn't expect that!" after plowing through Paris streets in hisaccelerator suit to protect a doomed Eiffel Tower. Except that we didexpect just about every memorable aspect of G.I. Joe lore to becompletely redefined in this explosive, outlandish, and most of allsilly, action extravaganza.- The Massie Twins

2012-04-27 14:35:04

GI Joe

This review is from: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Two-Disc Edition) [Blu-ray] (Blu-ray) This was an entertaining action with just enough campy romance and comedy to make it enjoyable. I hope they do another installment with the same cast.

mehdishah7 2012-04-26 23:12:53

It annoyed me

My friend asked me to go with him to watch this thing. After all weused to be the cartoon fan. Right before the movie started, theybrought up with GI Joe toy advert, right there I thought I'd figured itall out. I was gonno see a childish movie, even though the cartoon wasages ago and all cartoon fans are grown up people, BUT I WAS WRONG.What followed was a sequence of mind numbingly retarded images thateven a child would get annoyed with. They spent all the money in theworld, they brought known faces, blew up dozens of cars , yet they didnot manage to create a simple plot. Ah the acting, AHHHHHH. My god, ahplease don't say that, don't do that I feel stupid, Ah no not theslowmo group walk.Please, for the sake of your mental health, don't watch this movie.Don't force your brain to make sense out of absolute none sense. At theend of the movie you will feel you've lost half your IQ. I really meanit.