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Evil Alien Conquerors

Inept beings from the planet Kabijj land on Earth and attempt to behead all of its beings and take over the planet.

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Visitors Review

thewayofthesloth 2013-06-09 18:04:02

Booty Pajamas people, Booty Pajamas


There are 2 actors running around in booty-pajamas throughout most ofthe movie! that's all i think i really need to say. You have to look atit and laugh at it like it's the kid with headgear in your 4th gradeclass.The humor is downright stupid, which makes it absolutely hilarious.Especially since Tori Spelling was in it but preferred to haveabsolutely no credit for it. While I admit the beginning can be a little slow, you have toappreciate their love of Smirnoff Ice, and their terrible attempts totake over the world.Also, as soon as Croker hits the scene, it's well worth the wait. itgets better EVERY time i see it, no kidding.

2013-06-08 18:57:28

The Great and Powerful Croaker Will Crush YOU!


No, not really.This movie involves an alien race of beings who have tremendous confidence but lack competence on a mission to conquer Earth. To compound this, the transport method they use inexplicably changes them to be less effective as they travel to Southern California to begin the slaughter of Earthlings.The jumpsuit wearing protagonists struggle to complete their task before they are punished and become entangled in small time Earth drama and social customs as time runs out. When Earth is not adequately destroyed, the Great and Powerful Croaker is sent to punish them, who promptly gets entangled in the same way. Croaker's interaction with a restaurant assistant manager are absolutely hilarious.This movie relies on ridiculousness to be funny, but also adds a strong streak of "hint at the back story" to keep it interesting. (In the same ways that Buckaroo Banzai has little plot points to make the imagination run.) So be ready to put away highbrow expectations before sitting down to watch this.

Josh Michaels 2013-06-07 01:23:13

KROKER TORNADO!


This movie rocked! I rented it once, and liked it so much that I decided to buy it. Those people that didn't like this movie need to go back to their American Pies and other mediocre comedies. This movie was great for the sole reason that it was funny in an obviously dumb kind of way. It is the Monty Python humor of the 2000s.The main reason this movie made me laugh as much as I did, was Kroker, Kroker, and some more Kroker. KROKER TORNADO! KROKER FIRE BREATH! Plus, the scene where Kroker breaks the ketchup bottle. Those scenes are classic. May I make humor with it? I'm a unicorn. I'm a unicorn! I have a moustache.Go and buy this movie right now.

Day 2013-06-06 12:10:42

Enthused for EAC!


This movie was exactly what I expected. A good stupid movie. I mean that with the utmost respect. Maybe only die hard fans of films that are "so stupid they're funny" can appreciate it. Myself am both that and a huge fan of Diedrich Bader. Both he and Chris Parnell are hilarious as these inept evil alien conquerors. If you're in the mood a for good, no brainer, funny film, see this one.

mvs-2 2013-05-29 19:04:02

One of the chicks looks like Tory Spelling


I watched it hoping there was going to be a lot of good quality,wholesome American nudity, however there ended up being nothingremotely redeeming about the film. The least they could have done tomake it interesting was to add nudity! Usually a film like this gets byon gratuitous sex, but alas there was none to be found. If you have achance to see this movie, watch something else instead or just go tobed. If you wish to torture your friends or family for awhile, then putthis film on the big screen and watch everyone squirm in their seatswith boredom. This film is a poorly done reincarnation of the lamenessof a movie such as The Coneheads from the eighties. Avoid it and saveyourself!

2013-05-29 11:50:42

DON'T BUY THIS DRIVEL!


DON'T BUY THIS DRIVEL!My toilet is more interesting. High school effort at best. I fast forwarded through it & gave it away. I give it 2 buns down. ;(

MountainMan 2013-05-28 00:30:58

Why why why why?


The producer(s) of this film (I use the term film guardedly) obviouslyhad not a prayer (and maybe no intention) of turning out anything evenresembling a movie film. So why did they do it? A tax write-off byinvestors? Come on. This movie was the most disgusting, boring,poorly-acted, poorly directed, devoid-of-screenplay, insulting movieever made. I had a screen pass at BBuster and decided to try it. Ihoped the long odds might pay off. I have never shut down a movie thisquick before in my life (5 minutes). Dumb and dumberer was Oscarmaterial by comparison.I think the lines were made up on the fly. The director was flirtingwith the makeup girl. The grips were doing the directing.

2013-05-27 15:31:35

you just have to see it to believe it....


"That cow will pay for its insolence!" This movie is such a train wreck you have to see it more than once to understand and appreciate the overall hilarity of it all. I loved it!! But that doesn't mean much.

Nick Damian 2013-05-25 01:02:12

It's bad on so many levels


I bought it. I have to admit that.Why? Don't know...probably I was drunk, stoned or a combination ofboth.Maybe i was desperate to put another movie on my shelf - 5000 is notenough yet. Anyways I own it - sad as that may be.The funny disappears in the first 3 minutes and for the rest of thetime it's just burning itself out.The budget lists this flop as 500 000 dollars, but seriously - how canthis even come close to anything of that budget? This at best is acamcorder movie with a cast of characters that should not have beenpaid for their efforts.Bad does not describe this - because bad still has some sort ofpotential.Downright awful is what this movie is - and sadly, with so many other -even those done with bigger budgets, this is just a waste of time foranything more than 3 minutes.I've seen grade 2 school plays which had better performances and abetter production value than this has.The director, writer, producer and actors and everybody else involvedshould be crucified for their sins by watching this on an endless loopfor the rest of their lives.They of course will want to kill themselves for that reason and nodoubt that should you sit through anything more than 3 minutes, willyou want to do the same.For real entertainment, fill your time with building a house out oficing sugar in the rain.

katalen 2013-05-24 15:09:35

Funny, funny classic b-type movie


This movie is about two "evil alien conquerors" who must behead everyhuman on earth within 2 1/2 days or a giant from their planet will comeand behead them AND everyone on Earth. Now, it's not for everyone, Iknow. But it is SO FUNNY just because of it's absurdities. Forinstance, Crokar (the GIANT from their home planet) comes out of theportal the same size as everyone else, but he still thinks he's GIANT.(watch the movie and you'll see why I capitalize that.) Basically, it'sa slightly absurd, stupid movie that you have to laugh at. My friendsand I joked about it for hours (and still do). It's a great movie tosee with friends.

2013-05-18 01:03:02

Not really...


This review is from: Evil Alien Conquerors (DVD) I do like Diedrich Bader and Chris Parnell, but not enough to ever sit through this film twice. Jokes aren't necessarily funny when they're repeated ad nauseam. Tyler Labine, a giant on Kabijje (ha ha, yes, sounds like 'cabbage') doesn't realise he's shrunk to normal human size when transported to earth, and spends a large chunk of screen time stomping around and threatening to crush people. Amusing? Yes. Amusing after five minutes? No.You really need to be in an uncritical frame of mind to appreciate this film - it won't hurt to be intoxicated, as well. Probably on Smirnoff Ice.This film would've made a good SNL skit.

rocketdigitalproductions 2013-05-17 08:40:46

horrid yet funny movie


Okay I picked this movie up from Blockbuster on a whim. And the first20 minutes were excruciating. I was all about to turn it off, when theyget their first job working for the Crazy Lady from Speed (BethGrant)in the yard. From then on I was giggling the rest of the time.The movie is supposed to be stupid, its like those 80's movies thatwere churned out ad nauseum just because they had an alien in the plotsomewhere. And it is. The guy the meet Kenney is like a really bad,Jimmy Fallon, who I thought was always doing an impression of MikeMyers. Takes them home to meet his roommate, who always is "scoring",but is actually an infomercial man. And Tori Spelling goes by the nameof Missy Yager???? Anyway it's stupid entertainment. I love it.

Enchorde 2013-05-02 17:50:47

So stupid, such a waste of time


Recap: My-ik and Du-ug is sent to Earth to conquer and kill allmankind. To complete their task they have two and a half day, then a100-feet tall giant human-eating monster will be sent after them.Unfortunately for our two evil conquerors, their swords came throughthe transport extremely small. Now the aliens have to trust theirabilities, skill and superiority to finish their task. Unfortunately,they have none. And discovering such treasures as Smirnoff Ice, and twolovely ladies, they start to doubt their mission.Comments: Now, there are good movies, and there are bad movies. In thebad category there are just plain bad movies, and there are so badmovies that they're funny. This movie creates a completely newcategory. This movie is so extremely awfully bad, that it is not evenremotely funny. What was supposed to be jokes, was just plain stupid.What was supposed to be a story was a bad edited, poorly explained,predictable mess. What is supposed to be the great ending, is just acoverall dressed man, stumbling about screaming. And that is supposedto be the best in the entire movie? Now, I understood that this was lowbudget, but please, I've seen far better movies with far less budget.Written by Matheson, also the author behind Bill & Ted, I can't imaginewhat he has done to loose all talent the past decade. Where Bill andTed is a masterpiece (in comparison anyway) in fun simplicity and asuccess on all levels, Evil Alien Conquerors fails in every aspect.Acting performance is as bad as other aspects of the movie, and i can'timagine how actors like Diedrich Bader and Tori Spelling ended up inthis mess, it wasn't for the money obviously.The best part of the entire production is the title 'Evil AlienConquerors' that actually made me smile, and fooled me into waste 86minutes of my life. I want them back! 1/10

reluctantpopstar 2013-05-02 06:05:49

"I am Croker! I am one hundred feet tall!!!"


No, dude, you're actually about 5 foot 6 and shorter than almost everyother person you run into...ah...do you not get that? I guess that's why this movie is "funny." Okay, enough snark. This movie actually is funny, if you like stupid,annoying humor. It comes at you full throttle with an absurd premiseand distractingly low production values. Seriously, what was the budgeton this thing? It looked like a film school production, to be honest.That low.Two aliens come to earth with orders to behead the entire human race.It becomes clear pretty fast that they have vastly overestimated theirprowess and vastly underestimated the resources needed to accomplishtheir task. Oh well, it's all good actually, because they decide thatEarth is a pretty cool place, loaded with fast food, Smirnoff Ice,extremely entertaining infomercials and the genius of Supertramp.Dedrich Bader and Chris Parnell go through the whole movie in footypajamas, people. Footy freaking pajamas. And so does the "giant" fromtheir alien world, come to make sure they have taken over Earth,CROKER, who is actually shorter than both of them. Nevertheless, hekeeps screaming about the fact that he is 100 feet tall and is going tocrush everyone with his giant feet. He also wears footy pajamas. Purpleones.If this sounds like your cup of tea, your showcase of all-out idiocy,then be sure to check it out. Or if you like the idea of Dedrich Baderand Chris Parnell running through some deserted suburban town at nightin footy pajamas, then by all means, 90 minutes of your life is justwaiting to be expended. Really stupid, but I guess in this case that isnot an insult.

2013-04-23 09:28:23

Half Bad, Half Really Funny


This review is from: Evil Alien Conquerors (DVD) The first half of this movie has an occasional laugh, but as several people have said, the jokes are repetitive and it does have a SNL-skit-stretched-out-too-long sort of thing going. It just seems to be trying too hard to be funny. I actually turned it off halfway through and almost gave up on it. Later, I decided since I paid $11 for it, I should finish it. Then Tyler Labine shows up. I laughed until my stomach hurt. The eyebrow women. The infomercials! It's like they took all the funny out of the first half and put it in the second half. Here's my advice: during the first half, microwave some nachos, drink a couple beers, chat with your friends who can't believe you made them sit through it. Then when Tyler Labine is unceremoniously dumped onto the Earth, settle in and watch the rest.

dunc3571 2013-04-22 21:48:11

One of the funniest movies ever


Anyone who doesn't think this movie is hilarious needs to go to thehospital and have the stick removed from their ass. You have to go intothis movie not expecting anything spectacular. I watch this every timeit comes on and have recommended to all of my friends. I immediatelyreceive phone calls from them after they watch it and they are usuallylaughing so hard they can hardly talk. I have to say that my favoritecharacter is Croaker. The way he thinks he's still a giant when he getsto earth is one of the funniest damn things I have ever seen in mylife. All I have to say is two aliens that come to earth to behead theentire race and become addicted Smirnoff Ice and nudies is comicgenius. "Only an asshole, Croaker!!!!"

writeright1 2013-04-09 00:17:49

The cow will pay for it's insolence!


Du-ug and My-ik come to earth with their swords to cut off the heads ofevery person on earth... in less than three days.My-ik: Not a problem!In attempting to do their job, they have to deal with cows, alcohol,unibrows and other problems they didn't expect.My-ik: Not a problem!I found this movie surprisingly funny. I hesitated to watch it at first,but as it featured Diedrich Bader, I gave it a chance and I'm glad I did.The writer/director, Chris Matheson, wrote both Bill & Ted movies and heagain managed to take what seemed like a weak premise and managed to makemovies that still would be funny after repeated viewings. Matheson wiselylet the actors and story speak for themselves rather than pad the moviewithexploitive nudity or needless profanity.The cast ranged from serviceable to good. I was particularly impressedwiththe actor who played Croker, who had to deliver all his lines at the topofhis lungs. I would have liked to seen more of Michael McShane, Rabirr,whowas so funny on his stint on the British version of "Who's Line Is ItAnyway?"

OldDrummer55 2013-04-08 11:14:53

Cheese At It's Finest!


Cheesy and low budget. Incredibly cheesy and low budget. Soooooo cheesyand low budget that I had to love it! "B" budget???? How about "Z"budget. But somehow it works for me! Even my 14 and 16 year old nephewsloved it and recite lines with deadly accuracy. "I am Croker and I willcrush you puny Earthlings!" Where do I find my Smirnoff Ice anduniv-brow babes????? Our fearless aliens who visit Earth to accomplishtheir mission give new meaning to the word "moron." But then again, Ifound their characters to vaguely remind me of the simple minded aliensin Galaxy Quest. After a while I thought I might see a cameo appearancefrom Silent Bob and the Jay Meister! If you can find a video store thatcarries a copy, rent it!

Andy J 2013-03-24 21:34:15

Lighten up!


I think everyone needs to ease up and stop enforcing epic movie production values and small comedies that are made for the enjoyment of the fans and for the enjoyment of those making the movie. Would it have been better if they threw more money at it... maybe, but it would be totally different, and I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it as much. People who are expecting a cookie-cutter romantic comedy starring some pair of overpayed actors that share a witty conversation every fifteen minutes will be disapointed by this one.For maximum enjoyment, the mood must be set properly... Invite a few friends over that like the 'B-Movie' genre and aren't too uptight to laugh out loud at self inflicted 'swirlies' and unibrow jokes. Don't start the movie until 10 pm and you are set.I won't force it on you, it's not for everyone. But you have to give the movie credit for what it is... A "B-Comedy" and one of the best I've seen lately. You can bet this one is going into my personal library, and if you think I'm an idiot for my opinion, go watch the "English Patient" and leave the comedies for those who like to laugh.

Brkeng 2013-03-24 10:24:41

OMG!!!!!1


HI-Larious!I love Croker!Enthuse for Rabirr!This movie will go right next to napoleon Dynamite on my movie rack!


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