Genres

Visitors Review

2013-05-15 05:44:13

I really liked the movie.

I just got done reading everybody on the list put down this movie or make fun of it. I am not scared to say I liked this movie. I also like Vanilla's music. The only reason people hate Vanilla so much is because your local radio station played it to death. He helped paved the way for white rappers today. If everybody hates his music so much, how did he sell so many records? Thank you... One more point, I would be careful putting somebody down who is a millionaire doing what he loves. Have any of you checked out his new CD "Hard to Swallow?" Most of you reading this are stuck in a 8-5 cubicle all day living the Dilbert comic strip, and you are making fun of Vanilla? Please... get back to work before your boss notices you are not working.

La Gremlin 2013-05-14 18:13:43

Oh, please do play that funky music, white boy.

You really can't blame me for wanting to tackle this one.I can't believe what I'm about to say but here goes. This movie, thisVanilla Ice movie, is actually watchable. I'm not joking. I dearly wish Iwas.The script is full of classic bad lines ("Drop the zero an' get with theHERO!"). The acting is downright hilarious. I loved how there really wasno attempt whatsoever to suggest that Johnny McSomethingorother (I can'tremember the name of Herr VanWinkle's character) is a different entity thanVanilla Ice.But I think my favorite part of "Cool as Ice" is that the overall *look* ofthe movie is insanely hyperdramatic. All my absolute favorite DramaticPhotography Effects are in this stupid movie. There's the Scene WhereEverything is Different Shades of Blue. There's the Scene Where the CameraCircumnavigates the Main Character as He is Deep in Thought. This is thebest looking stupid movie ever!With all that said, I feel really bad for everyone involved. Maybe notIce.

2013-05-13 11:17:05

The Lyrical Lawyer: "Cool As Ice"

Not many can claim that they have influenced popular culture so ingratiatingly as Vanilla Ice has. He stepped up in 1991 to come into our hearts. Well, Vanilla Ice, you've captured mine. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't regret giving away my Vanilla Ice sweater in eighth grade.Back to the Iceman. Recently I was blessed in that my close friend Matt purchased this quality film. We began to watch it in earnest. I have seen it many a time in the past three weeks. In each additional viewing, the movie only increases in its value. "Cool As Ice" (directed by David Kellog) is a national treasure. It is a terrible affront to our society that we are slowly killing off this gentle giant.One area in particular where this film excels is in the area of production design. Nina Ruscio is a magician with contrasting colors, bad forced perspective and ee cummings poetry. Nor can one readily ignore the fantastic and inspiring costumes that Vanilla Ice, who plays Johnny, wears. He seems to me to be a 1991 version of Johnny Bravo. The costumes in this picture are amazing. We have the bland look of the townspeople and the fireworks of color that is Johnny and his posse. They break and they sway, all the while backing up Ice with their phat beats to match his mad dope rhymes. The romantic interest, Kat, is a vision always in virginal white.The cinematography is also very interesting. The use of light is particularily fresh here. The director of photography on this film, Janusz Kaminski, is an Oscar winner ("Saving Private Ryan") who has an interesting style on this film. It shouts. Sometimes the shots fall because they yell too loud and sometimes they soar like Naomi Campbell's beautiful singing voice. I would compare his guerilla shooting style in the final sequence favorably to the opening moments of "Saving Private Ryan".Two brief encounters need to be remembered."Hey yo what's up maam.""Can I help you?""Yo I'm looking for Kat.""We don't have a cat.""Kathy! Your daughter!"And who can possibly forget the fabled first meeting between the very special couple.He jumps the fence with his motorcycle (even though there is no ramp), spooks Kat's horse, she gets thrown. Basically he almost gets her killed. He runs over to help her up."Hey you OK?"She punches him in the gut."Damn! What the hell's wrong with you?"She storms off with her horse, angry. Johnny's conclusion?"Yup. Yup. She likes me."As with any masterpiece, there are far too many nuances to this oft brilliant and woefully underappreciated gem. I will leave you with these words of wisdom straight from the Iceman's mouth:"I don't sweat it on the mic-'Cause I'm Cool As Ice."

2013-05-13 05:14:19

INCREDIBLE

this movie is incredible, no joke. any fan of vanilla ice must have this movie, full of great one liners as well!!!

2013-05-05 12:59:16

Breathtaking.

Throughout the ages, cultures have been defined by the peak artistic creations spawned by the ideas and tenets that the civilization held dear to them. The Renaissance had the Sistine Chapel and the Mona Lisa. The Baroque era had the Bach Concertos and Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. To truly define our era, the 20th century, one need not look at trivialities like Gone With The Wind or Citizen Kane to ask themselves the true question, "Who am I?" Truly no other movie captures the strength and longevity of our times, our lives, our cultures as good as "Cool As Ice". The sheer artistry puts any Astaire/Kelly routine to shame. The plot, epic in its scope, yet humbled to represent the common man and his plight through a wicked society, seemed to have been crafted by Hawthorne, so brililant and deep were the emotions. The poignancy of such lines as "It ain't where you from, it's where you at" symbolize the rugged individualism that America represents. You can almost feel the red, white, and blue oozing out of Vanilla Ice. His stirring performance makes James Dean seem like a square. He transcends the film medium as well, as his musical score, rife with emotional turbulance not seen since Stravisky's "Le sacre du printemps", captures the essence of how our troubles can be washed away by believing in oneself. Vanilla Ice is America, and America is Vanilla Ice.

Jason Clark 2013-05-04 19:20:40

Kristin Minter- the only good thing about this movie.

The only thing good about this movie was Kristin Minter. Sometimes when anactress starts out, she has to do a b-movie now and than. Vanilla Ice'scareer may be over; but I believe Ms. Minter will go far in this industry.Ilook forward to seeing Ms. Minter's work in the future.

2013-04-23 05:17:38

Inappropriate

Hello,I find it very rude & very inappropriate when people write rude & idiotic things on message boards. I do not see the joy in posting sarcastic & chiding words about anything...let alone a movie. Why waste your time writing, and why waste our time reading it???It's not fair to people who want to read serious reviews about films. This particular film is very good. I do not think people should make light of it just because "Vanilla Ice" is in it. I do not understand people's insincere fascination with the man. I am a sincere fan of his work, his earlier work as Vanilla Ice and his later more rock oriented music.It truly sickens me when people speak ill about another person or another film. Saying "it's a joke" does not make it any better. Beneath every joke is a truth. You wouldn't say it unless the thought was in your mind. This is where rascism and hatred comes from, this is where all the ills of the world come from.I'm sorry, if I'm getting off track. I just wanted to say that I think it's VERY stupid to post rude remarks online.And I personally apologize in advance if anyone is offended by my post, as it was not my intention.-Trev

FOXCLOSE-2 2013-04-22 12:56:42

Awesome movie for totally the wrong reasons!

Let me first say that this movie is the most "strongest" PG, I have everseen. With all that sexual groping and stuff, they might as well have madean "R" rated version and take it a bit further! (I thought that intimatescene, where Kathy and Johnny go at it (playing around in the desert) neededto be a little more explicit.Anyway, the point is that this movie is a joke. I was laughing at ituncontrollably. Bad acting, bad script and bad directing. However, I willsay that it is a good movie to watch when you've got nothing to do and boredout of your mind. It will cheer anybody up!

Miss_MiChiMi 2013-04-17 22:55:35

It wasn't that bad...

Keep in mind that I watched this back in the early 90s and I was a youngteenaged girl. You have to remember that everything about that movie was"in style" at the time. Would I be caught dead in "Hammer pants" now? HELLNO! Back then, if you didn't have some, you were lame.Sure, the dialogue is cheesy. The plot is lame. The "love scene" istotally ridiculous. If some guy took me on a date to a filthy constructionsite, I would smack him with a crane. This was another attempt to cash inon a flash in the pan money machine, a la From Justin toKelly.Luckily, with time comes wisdom. When I saw the ads and trailers for FromJustin to Kelly, I was smart enough to run the other way. Vanilla Ice'soscar worthy performance in Cool as Ice made me wary of all pop stars whoattempt to become respected thespians. (Think about the movie Glitter.)Besides, when the best lounge singer you can get is Naomi Campbell, there issomething wrong. If they had dubbed her voice, I could have understood thatshe was there as strictly eye candy. Since they didn't, I am thinking thatVanilla Ice just wanted to score her digits and this was his idea of theeasiest way to do so.If you want to show the youth of today things they should never wear, say,or do, show them this movie. Let the butchered haircuts, horrific daygloclothing, and sorry attempts at being a thug scare them into being theboring yuppies all parents want their children to see. If your son isalready sporting a checkerboard on the back of his head and racing around onrice rockets while wearing lime green and orange outfits, well, I feel foryou. record him and market the tape as Cool As Ice 2: The New Breed orsomething.

2013-04-17 10:57:55

92 bux!

I was thinking about buying this to give as a joke christmas present. Damn.. i can't see how anyone would buy this awful movie for more than 5 bux, let alone 92...

ramspott 2013-04-10 12:00:11

WOW!!!

This movie is so freaking funny. People reading these reviews might thinkthat the reviewers are trying to be funny because its so bad of a flick. Well, it is a really bad flick, but its sooooo bad, that its hilarious. Itreally is a rare gift. If you were too old or too young to have appreciatedjust how ridiculus Vanilla Ice is/was, then skip it. If you are in the22-32 age range, this movie is a must see. The easiest way I can explainwhy this movie is enjoyable, is...well....Remember those old Atari footballgames and stuff when the other dude gets past you so bad, that you can justwrap around the screen to the left and tackle the dude, thus saving the day? Its kinda like that. So bad, that its off the charts, and comes back atchafrom the other direction, and slaps you upside the head with laughter. Thatdoesn't do it justice, but at least I tried. Trust me, itsfunny.

2013-04-10 05:11:08

Best-Worst Movie EVER!

I love this movie! Its one of those movies that its so bad its great. I've watched it like a hundred times and I never get tired of it. A must have for any movie collector.

capnpisslog 2013-03-30 04:41:31

The greatest movie of all time

This movie is a gem. It has every cinematic achievement possible.Brightprimary colors abound. Valiant hero, brilliant young damsel, bad cops, asteamy bedroom scene Vanilla is the classic hero in a small town, heblowsthe competition away. When he meets Kathy he knows, "yep yep she likesme."and later on when she tell shim her name he smiles and says, "Kathy?hmm?... Kat!" Thereby bestowing his awesomeness upon her and christeningherKat. This movie is da bomb. If you don't like it, that is because youfailto accept the amazing power of Vanilla Ice. Brick patterns and lightningbolts shaved into his head.The Ice man says it best when he raps, as if by the grace ofGod,"Dirty words / cuz you're a nerd / on first and third / it's absurd / tothink that you've heard / better rhymes than these"and if you think that you've seen a better movie than this than you don'tnoIce, you don't know Ice at All!

Ridley 2013-03-30 00:17:14

WARNING! Review containts: **SPOILERS!!!**

**SPOILER**The movie was great! For the life of me I can't see how this movie gets abad rap (pun intended). Now I admit, Vanilla Ice is no Howie Mandel, but Icould really identify with his character and the struggle he dealt with. Notsince Scorsese's "Raging Bull" have I seen such an indepth character studysuch as this one. The excellet direction of David Kellog who went on todirect the beautifully crafted "Inspector Gadget". The Academy Award WinnerJanusz Kaminski's sweeping cinematography. The insightful script by DavidStern with lines like "Whackhead was playin' baseball on my homeboy'sbike!". Right up there with Troll 2 and Police Academy 14 as possibly thebest movie ever made. Of course, they are the only three I've ever seen, butother movies can't be this good, can they?

Michael Kenmore 2013-03-21 03:40:22

An unintentionally hilarious and insidiously hideous film **spoilers**

"Cool As Ice" is the work of art.No, really. That's what the rap star wanna-be Vanilla Ice thinks whenhe starred in this movie cluttered with the piece of dog dung scriptfrom David Stenn. The movie showcases the atrocious acting by VanillaIce who bolsters his ego to triumph over evil and injustice, and getsto shag the girl of his dreams ("perverted fantasies" more likedescribes his intention of establishing a torrid love affair). It's sounbelievably bad you have to suspend the disbelief just to get the kickout of making fun of Vanilla Ice as he attempts to act like he's goingto win an Oscar for Best Actor but ends up being an amateur, onlyriddled with the terrible one-liners and smirk expressions so annoyingyou want to punch him in his face. The plot is nondescript. It's too absurd and rather bizarre tosummarize, so I won't bother. The star Vanilla Ice leading a bunch ofposeurs to run the errand and falling madly in love with a pretty girland conquering evil is the plot I can think of. I must make a note ofcomplaint that "Cool As Ice" is grossly misrated PG because there's thegratuitous use of the word "D***", some violence, the particularlyscary sequence and excessive sensuality. There are the scenes thatliterally had me die laughing. So funny you'll ache your ribs and feelthe pain as Vanilla Ice intends it to become embarrassingly painfulwhen he saw the finished version for the first time and have hid inoblivion since. Some particularly funny scenes (some may be spoilers):After the opening MTV-style music sequence, it becomes obvious thatVanilla Ice could not act when a sexy girl comes on to himJumping over the fence with the motorcycle and inadvertently hurts thegirlVanilla Ice stole the "black book" with the list of female friends andlooks like a pimp when he boasts to his poseur friendsVanilla Ice walks around wearing an overinflated orange puff coat withthe bare chest and funky pants, shouting "Hey, yo! What's up?" in agrating accent in the first half hour, made to look like thegangbanging pusherAs the girl is about to enter into her house, Vanilla Ice grabs herelbow and said "All right. I get it. Check this through. If you needme, I'll be right over there" in front of her dim-bulbed fratboyfriend.A poorly choreographed fight scene between Vanilla Ice and the bunch ofjocks Vanilla Ice is a potential sociopathic rapist when he enters and lieson the bed besides the sleeping girl without her consent/knowledgeThe overindulgent erotic interaction scenes between Vanilla Ice and thegirl, and that includes pseudo dry humping and groping. If theyactually go all the way, Vanilla Ice would be guilty of statutory rapeThe irony of Vanilla Ice wearing a black puff leather jacket plasteredall over with the words like "Sex Me Up," "Oh Yeah," and "Lust"Gratuitous slow motion scenes and gratuitous sexual innuendoesMichael Gross' one-dimensional character as the girl's strict fatherand the attitude of Vanilla Ice when he had to leave at the insistenceof her fatherOlder couple dancing to the funky music. Utterly preposterousVanilla Ice's most unintentionally funny scene -- "You know something?You don't know. You don't know me. You don't know me at all!" with acocky attitude in a sarcastic tone and then rides away with amotorcycleVanilla Ice invades the girl's property and got sprayed wet by thewater sprinkler. In the next scene, he jumps the fence with thecompletely dry clothes.Vanilla Ice rides the motorcycle at over 100 MPH. So dangerous heshould have died in a tragic accidentVanilla Ice's line of "It's fresh, man" in response to a stupid kidbrother's ridiculous hairVanilla Ice's line "I know that sound" when investigating the mysterysound on the loudspeaker The audiotape about the kidnapping scheme is single-handedly thefunniest scene in the whole movie -- you have to see and hear tobelieve itThe floating physics of Vanilla Ice's motorcycle gang crashing throughthe wall on the second floor at the construction building. Truly alaugh riot!The violence at the construction site could be mistaken for the ganghazing ritualVanilla Ice wears a ridiculous black wool hat and said the line,"Imagine that." If you have the eagle eyes, it's obvious the stunt waspulled off with a steel ramp mounted over the car to be followed by thetorturous closing music sequence.All in all, the most unintentionally funniest movie I've seen -- andI've never laughed frequently and harder AT a movie before with theexception of "Project A-Ko" and "There's Something About Mary". Nodoubt this is a huge embarrassment that led to Vanilla Ice's demise asthe hip-hop pop star and a movie actor. Highly ironic that Vanilla Icesaid at the end, "I'm...outta here!"How David Kellogg got hired by Disney to direct "Inspector Gadget"after this inane tripe that serves as Vanilla Ice' vanity is beyond mycomprehension.

fugu_286 2013-03-20 22:25:26

woah

this is the greatest piece of cra - film, ever. Why this is not in the top250 is anybody's guess. i believe this is a conspiracy against perhaps thegreatest musician of my generation, and definitely the best rapper of alltime. MC hammer couldn't touch his frilly colorful pants. And the acting,the acting, why was the clown prince of rap was passed up by the academy?this is a grave injustice. Top notch acting, top notch cast, top notch film,go rent it now, now, now. Are you still here????

2013-03-20 13:10:03

Best movie to exist within this universe and the next.

As the Vanelnel once said, the g-roll of the b-roll is the c-roll. As the G's once told me, this movie makes the godfather look like battlefield: earth. All my chillas in the yullyard love this grape of the loom cinema master of works. Kat is the g-male thug maker. Ice is the t-rye dinodog. Ninjas are all the streets in the car wash pretty.

2013-03-19 14:44:50

Sugar Shack Bootyquake

This review is from: Cool As Ice [VHS] (VHS Tape) Point blank, own this movie. It is tighter than tight and I am a hip-hop authority. The music is wack, but so wack it is fresh. Yo Kat, words of wisdom, shling a shlong and cop this masterpiece. I ain't gonna say peace, cuz I ain't 'wit it. OUT.The most interesting parts are when Vanilla says to the crooks, 'Yo'. And the fat crook says 'Yo yourself'. Then at then end the girl in VIP menacingly motions towards the crooks and says 'YO!'. And then when the crook spits his food out for no reason. Those crooks are odd.

James grisamer 2013-03-16 23:14:40

There is only one good part.

There is only one good part to this movie, no it's not the end. It's when Vanilla strait gets his a** beat with a bat. Now that's what I call his best break beats.

Yohamma Mahamama 2013-03-16 08:44:04

Amazing acting, beautiful cinematography

This is the type of "sleeper" that will be looked back on as a classic inthe years to come. The acting is first-rate, the production value isunmistakable, and the directing is truly a rare and stimulating visualexperience. Many films of it's kind tend to be basic and lack aestheticvalue, but Cool As Ice is an undeniable theatre experience. I highlyrecommend this intense one of a kind thriller. When I first saw this filminYemen, I didn't think America could produce such amazing filmography andcreativity. The locals may shoot me for it, but it is worth keeping thismovie just so I can watch it again and again and again. My wife YuhmuhuhhAmed and my son Hurima-Shamir-Mohhamed-Abdul-Rauf are also COOL ASICE!!!