Genres

Visitors Review

2012-05-24 19:45:00

Quite Good

Cataleya (Saldana) sees her parents killed and she vows at age 10 tobecome an assassin to avenge those deaths.Okay, now we have Cat (Stenberg) a 10-yr old action hero who grows upto be the assassin she always wanted to be. How good is that? I'm stillfiguring out what I want to be when I grow up. Is she as good as MattDamon in those Bourne movies? You bet. Cataleya as Cat at age 10 has some moves to die for as she runs fromthe people who killed her parents. As an adult those moves are still apart of her and she is a no-nonsense assassin. Sometimes that is whatis needed especially when she goes after the bad guys. This moves at a good pace and you won't be bored. It's a typical actionmovie with all the trappings except that the action hero is Cataleya.The FBI and the CIA are at odds as to who is committing all these hitsand believe they are looking for a man. HA ! Keep in mind that all of her hits are meant to send a message to thepeople who killed her parents. There is method to her madness. All inall very well done. The action scenes whether actual stunts or CGI wereright on the mark. (7/10)Violence: Yes. Sex: No. Nudity: No. Language: Yes.

davideo-2 2012-05-24 09:25:56

Nonsensical, morally empty action toss

STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning** Sunday Night * Monday Morning As a young girl, Cateleya (Zoe Saldana) witnessed her parent's murderat the hands of drug cartels in her native Columbia, and was taken inby her uncle Cliff (Emilio Restrepo) to whom she confesses her desireto be a killer. Years later, she's achieved this aim, remaining withher one true intention to find her parent's killers. But closing in onher trail is Agent Ross (Lennie James) with whom she engages in adeadly confrontation.Colombia's reputation as one of the most violent, lawless places onearth provides an impressively suitable back drop for a high octaneaction film, and you wonder why it hasn't been used in many othersbefore it. The trouble with Colombiana is, this morally chaotic, vacuum of a worldis absorbed seemingly into the story, which lacks any sort of humanlydecent centre, with a young girl aided and abetted into a world ofkilling for money by adults who should know better and who grows up tobe a 'heroine' who threatens the lives of the children of lawenforcement agents and fails to get any sort of comeuppance.The action sequences are decently done and entertaining enough, butthey are so ridiculous and unbelievable that they infuriate rather thanentertain. Olivier Megaton's film is just one big, long style oversubstance, morally vacuous non-entity, that does about as much for themind and soul as it does for the Colombia tourist board. **

featheredsun 2012-05-23 22:55:33

Yay kids! Murder is fun!

This is an example of how a pretty good assassin film can also containreprehensible moral trash, namely that it's perfectly OK to teach kidsthat violence and murder not only is an integral part of life, but itwill make you sexy and hip. 1. Kid's parents get killed because they chose a very very dangerousline of work and they put their kid at risk by having her local. 2.Thug uncle living a life of crime in Chicago had a son who diedviolently. That kid's room had violence all over the walls, not justScarface promotionals but ACTUAL GUNS. Gee, what a surprise that he waskilled. 3. Same uncle has no problem teaching this little girl to behis assassin, to lose any respect for life she might've regained, andto put her in danger constantly. 4. Oh wait, she said she WANTED TO BEA KILLER. That excuses everything. If our kids have had a hard life andwant to be criminals, of course we should let them! 4. Governmentoperatives are inept enough to lose track of a 9 yr old at aninternational airport. Transit personnel have no problem with youngkids FLYING and travelling in general absolutely alone as long as theyhave a little piece of paper with an address on it. 5. Family members,especially women who have already been broken and used by the assholemen in their sad lives, stand by and watch as children are corrupted.Now, the action sequences and stealthy tricks were neat, and satisfyingfor the genre, but this movie, like many, selectively ignores lifeconsequences and focuses on pointless glamgore. At least with movieslike La Femme Nikita, we see that the life lived by the young assassinturns out to be, in the end, not as much glamorous as it is cold,cruel, vicious, and unforgiving.With this piece of schlock, we just have a pretty, deceitful piece ofgore porn that will be simply enjoyed without thought by most, but willalso be viewed with awe by some semi-retarded angsty adolescent girlswho will buy-in a little bit more to the myth of GRRRL POWER that isactually keeping them repressed and separated from any realunderstanding of responsibility and influence in life.

Tony Heck 2012-05-23 10:47:22

A very slow and less exciting version of Hanna or Salt. Saldana is good, but the other movies are better. I say C.

"I used to want to be Xena Warrior Princess, now I want to be a killer.Can you help?" After watching her parents get killed in front of her, 9year old Cataleya makes her way to Chicago to see her uncle. Afterbeing trained by him to be an assassin she soon goes off on her own forrevenge. This is a difficult movie to review. The first 20 minutes isvery exciting, but when Cataleya grows up it slows way way down. Therest of the movie drags a lot and while there is quite a bit of actionit does not really hold your attention. Saldana does a good job inthis, but the movie did not do a good job of showcasing her style ofaction. I would compare this to "Hanna" which was about a young girllooking for revenge on the murderer of her father. These movies hadvery similar plots but "Hanna" was a much more fast paced and excitingmovie. This movie is also like "Salt" but a much slower version. Thisis very OK, nothing exciting. Overall, if given the choice between thisone or "Hanna", I would choose "Hanna". I give it a C.

bouzirid 2012-05-23 02:31:00

"Hot Chick" but not more...

There is a reason why I do not like this movie.It's not because of the special effects, actually, they are great! Norit's because of the cast - most of em did an good job.The thing I do not enjoyed is, that the director tried to combine 2types of movies - but he missed his goal to 99 %.The problem @ Columbiana is, it wants to be a bit less realistic, butthat for more cool - Yeah, some scenes are! But to try to on the otherhand make the film emotional, is a real bad mistake. In not any scene Ifelt pain or anything else, not even as "Mamma" and the other guy werekilled. They made it too dramatic and when you imagine this "superspecial woman" that can climb under a car like Spiderman and swim in asharks aquarium (with no logic entrance), you do not really believe inher feelings.The director should had made a decision: Even he does an surrealisticmovie like kill bill all over the line, or a drama, like Leon (wich wasa way more realistic, even if not the most realistic movie).One other thing I missed in the movie: I did not laugh @ anytime... anaction based film without any funny scene is really really bad.whatever, if you shut down you brain completely and like hot girls,then you might like it.If you expect an good action movie with some story, you will bedisappointed :(

Jaho Koo 2012-05-22 11:47:36

A repetitive loop of violence and nudity

My expectations towards movies tend to go down when it comes to certaingenres. Girls with guns is one of these typ of movies. I don't expectgreat characters and I certainly don't expect masterpiece writing. Idon't really care about originality when it comes to these films so Idon't judge a movie by that. But what I do want is a build up ofconflict and that can be achieved through the basic formula of theFreytag's Pyramid. Colombiana fails in the basics of writing.First I'm going to address the writing which is terrible in manyaspects. These are the three things that suffer the most: the story,the dialogue and the characters.The story starts with a gratuitously long exposition. It sets up thestage for a revenge action movie but it just drags on and on and on. Tomake a long story short a little girl's parents are betrayed by a gangboss and killed. The girl goes to Chicago where she asks her uncle totrain her to become a killer. This movie could have gone to the editingroom a few more times. Now when we finally see the adult version of our protagonist, thingsactually improve. The jail scene is how I like to call it and it's thebest scene in the whole movie. It introduces our protagonist as anintelligent and stealthy badass and convinces the audience that she cando what she's meant to do: kill people. This was entertaining.Then we're introduced to Zoe Saldana's boyfriend whose name I'veforgotten (we'll get to the crappy characters later) and they have alittle romantic moment. I don't know how this subplot contributes tothe main story...but then we go back to Zoe Saldana killing anothertarget. Wait a second, didn't I already see this in a video game? Yeah,I think this is the exact same scene from Hit-man! The fat old man inrobes lying down in bed with two prostitutes with guards laying about.Zoe points a gun on her target and says, "it doesn't matter who I am."Wait, what? I think this is the perfect example of how stupid thedialogue is in this film. This is a retarded line; of course it'sIMPORTANT who she is. Imagine if Inigo Montoya killed Count Rugenwithout identifying himself. The most important thing about revenge isthat you're getting back at someone and letting them know that they'vemade a mistake by screwing you up. But hey that line sounded prettycool in the trailer right? Zoe Saldana says, "I'm not going to killyou," and shoots the glass floor and then her target falls into theshark pool. This is worse than Batman leaving someone on a fallingtrain and saying that he didn't kill him.So naturally Zoe goes back to...her boyfriend. They have sex and we getto see some nudity and now I see the reason behind this boyfriendcharacter's existence. The audience needs to get their share ofnudity...that's the only explanation. Obviously Zoe's character is akiller and she's very private to herself, even to her boyfriend. Shedoesn't tell him where she's from or what her job is. Let me ask aperfectly sensible question, then why have a boyfriend?Then Zoe goes to kill another target. Then she comes back for more sex.Then she goes to kill another target. Then she comes back for sex. Doyou see what I mean by saying this movie's a loop? It's just killingand sex over and over again. This isn't building conflict. My God arethe cops stupid in this film. They wait for Zoe to kill 23 peoplebefore starting to do something about it. All the while Zoe's Uncle istelling her she's going to draw attention to the family. Zoe's prettycool with that until in one scene she just drops to her knees andcries, "I didn't know!" You didn't know? What about the fact thatyou've been told multiple times that this would happen?In the climax Zoe goes for her last kill. This isn't entertaining orclimactic in any sense. This is proof that this movie just went inloops instead of building a story. The whole movie's just a flat line.The characters are either stupid or unnecessary and the dialogue theyshare are either stupid or unnecessary. This film is stupid andunnecessary; avoid it!

paulvcassidy 2012-05-21 23:55:42

Zoe Salanda is the perfect embodiment of a Colombian coffee bean.

I've trebled my consumption of Colombian coffee since watching thisfilm. I buy my GranArom in Lidl for half the price of the competitors.It's kind of addictive. In any event Zoe Saldana has the features of achick coffee bean. She's cut, delicious, hypercool and best of allcolored like treacle and designed for speed. She'll be back that's forsure. The film stands in the beautiful tradition of well shot LatinAmerican action thrillers so rich in colour and atmosphere that theytranscend the obvious struggle of the human condition. Latin America isthe one poor place where I feel I could manage being poor. The luxuryof the place seems to envelope the poverty like some kind of celestialcape. Perhaps Our Lady of Guadelupe stands with these people in amysterious sense that radiates onto the places and the faces of it'speople. That aside the profound longing for social justice beneath thewretched competition to get out and be successful by any means. Thelads cut ice too, their accented Colombian English seems to rob thelanguage of the notion of proper pronunciation its value and meaninghappily lost in trans-enunciation. They almost seem to chew on theirwords savoring there character and form transforming a sentence intosomething else in the process highlighting that the effect of what iscommunicated is generally more important than its content. As good abunch of bad guys as you're likely to meet. But as for how theColombian coffee industry missed the opportunity for product placementI do not know. A very entertaining excellently shot movie driven by theremorseless kill-stinct of Catalinaaah. Oh to kill with impunity andgrace bringing beauty to the deed. And that my friends is whatBitch-Killer movies are all about; the notion that violent death can bewrapped up in the aesthetic. The Angel of Death is most definitely afeminine spirit.

GauzeriN 2012-05-21 04:40:13

Unsophisticated action-packed vengeance story with sexy Zoe

Don't expect sophisticated vengeance cinema, twist or unexpectedbecause this film is one big cliché. I personally think its a hybrid ofNikita and Leon: The Professional or rather mix of ideas. Kind of whatd happen if Mathilda d grow up as she wanted to. Well she d probablybecome something like Nikita.Story is about girl who witnesses her parents death when she is around8-10 years old. She of course back then could probably take down halfof those guys who killed her parents but director make us wait foranother hour to see that. Rest of the film is filled Cataleya's bandingover and killing. Most of the story is ridicules so don't expect a lotof logic (except prison kill)rather a lot of simplifying. She canlocate kill and do everything to anyone. So smart and well trained butcouldn't foresee that they will go after who ever left from her family.What da hell that suppose to be.However if approach the movie as a simple action-killer flick you wontbe disappointed. Pace of story is very good fights scene could havebeen made differently I mean shes just a little girl. Dude she sfighting near the end is three times her weight and she is pushing himover whole room. Zoe Saldana is credible as a cold-killer and you canexpect few sexy scenes with her. Thats what tigers like the most huh?!If u don't want to think, see one of the hottest girls in Hollywoodright now with a gun in tight outfit, or just see action-packedvengeance story its definitely film for you. However its not enough tobe a remarkable creation and hour after screening you wont evenremember about it. Unless just like me you ll have a mental picture ofZoe in her slutty clothes from the beginning of the movie.

Robert Collins 2012-05-20 15:41:55

Pretty mindless, female driven action with hardly any plot line.

Colombiana is just a mindless action romp with no substance and far toomany action scenes and no characterization , it really isn't a greatfilm, the only thing that is great in any way about it is the ratherstring performance from Zoe Saldana, she will easily become a greataction star after this, I do think it's good that females are startingto become more prominent in the action genre, this however was just toocliché ridden ti compete with great films of late such as Salt orHanna.So many times throughout this film I was thinking cliché clichécliché!!! If you switch your mind off and decide you don't want to knowanything about your characters you will be fine to enjoy Colombiana.Parts of Colombiana are OK, a strong opening sequence with the youngerCataleya is very good and the first scene where the adult Cataleya goesall mission impossible in a prison is also great to watch,unfortunately from there it all just goes down hill, the whole romanceaspect towards the end of the movie isn't convincing in the slightestand it's really unnecessary in a film like this.It's just not up to scratch in my opinion, just a b-grade femaleassassin that isn't memorable in the slightest. I hope that Zoe Saldanagets another chance at a great action film because she is really theonly good thing Colombiana has to offer and I think in a better roleshe could really shine.Mindless, Cliché, Unimpressive.

Queer-qatfm 2012-05-20 05:15:34

An Avatar of Woe

A lot of times while chatting at the club, my friends and I will engagein the Ye Old Drinking Game of "Who would you switch for?" Theimplication is that perhaps there might be an actress we'd dump ourKinsey scale of homosexuality, and could see ourselves jumping into thesack with. It's a lot of fun, completely meaningless, and usually endswith Anderson Cooper style giggle-fits. Well, Zoe Saldana (Avatar) isone of those lovely ladies for me. Though, I completely recognized oncewatching her film Colombiana, she's not quite good enough for leadinglady status.A lot of weight is placed on her caramel-toned, often bared shouldersin this movie. Not unlike the completely pale white ones of SaoirseRonan from Hanna, she's portraying a beautiful but deadly assassin. Butwhereas Hanna was directed as a pseudo-Euro art piece, Colombianadecides it would rather go in your face with its down and dirty actionstyle. This is most evident right from the start, as director OliverMegaton (Transporter 3) provides a jarring intercut between stockfootage of gang activities with aerial shots of the a jam packed cityin Colombia. Requiring a justifiable reason to make Zoe Saldana'scharacter into a lethal killer, it is this entire first act that nearlyswamps the movie from the start. Little girl version of Cataleya ispoorly acted and feels hardly real as she's already an expert ineluding hooligans who murder her parents in front of her. (As describedin the trailer, so not a spoiler.) Once in the US, she's connected withother family members and is already intensely determined about herfuture goal to get revenge. But not only is there no real emotion givenus here, the whole section drags on.Finally, we get to see our lone star heroine as she rams her car into aparked police cruiser ensuring she'll be right where she needs to be tokill her nearly two dozenth target. From there the movie starts toexpand a little into a rather clever bit of cat and mouse as Cataleyacontinues to pick off people while being sought out by an FBI agentplayed strongly by Lennie James (mostly TV roles). There is a romanceas well, just so you can be assured to see the sexier side of Zoe, andinterestingly enough its during these exchanges she finally shows somedimension to her character.See, the problem with this film is that its comprised mostly of howwithdrawn Cataleya has become, layered with the 'will she or won't she'get caught while engaging in her conquest for vengeance. So because ofthat, we're not as engaged as I'd like to have been with the movie.Merely speculating as she stealthily slinks around in skin-tightoutfits in between far too rare occasions where her character finallyreally interacts with others on screen.To be fair, it gets better as it goes along. It's as if the scriptstarts to become more comfortable about itself. The uneven drama andaction eventually gains humor and better action as we move toward theending. Though even when things do start really moving, and you'restarting to lean forward in your seat with eager anticipation, you haveto start to realize Colombiana has given you the slow-burn without anyreal substantive meat behind the promise it had made. It turns out justto be a rather hallow revenge flick that's marginally better thanmediocre, if only because it stars that one hot girl you playfullysuggested you'd switch for.Maybe I should only stick to her as a Na'vi.

pevans19-143-93986 2012-05-20 00:26:10

Hot Chick with guns

If you have seen the trailer then you pretty much know what's coming. Ipersonally thought it was a pretty good flick and the action throughoutthe movie definitely keeps your interest.My only thought was that they should have gone ahead and pushed it toan "R" rated movie. With all the action and shooting, I believe therewas almost little to no blood. I know the issue with too much violenceand maybe they were trying to get a younger audience the ability to seethis movie but it was lacking the "pop" factor by whitewashing too manyscenes. Zoe Saldana did a superb job in this movie and I only wish thatsome of the supporting cast could have been on the same level that sheis on.IMHO

Lanredan 2012-05-19 05:37:44

Action paced- Worth the watch!-

Harsh reviews by others! Don't listen to reviews! worth a watch! Veryaction paced film, the plot may be what you have seen before but youwill be glued and Zoe keeps you glued. The films has flaws in which youquestion how real some scenario's. But in all a solid 7. The maincharacter carries the film and so the acting is on point, its not tolong but not to short.It is very slick film and the main reason its nottop notch is because it doesn't have a wonder or wow moments, worth thewatch but its there are no clever twists like you are watching shutterisland. But I would watch this if want to watch a action film, its ispreety brutal at times.

Twodude Review 2012-05-18 18:51:20

A huge letdown

Revenge movies have been made over and over again. Some get it right,like Leon: The Professional and others get it terribly wrong, likeDrive Angry. Colmbiana falls somewhere in the middle, and that'sunfortunate. Olivier Megaton's direction is fairly decent, as shown bythe intricate opening sequence. Regrettably, the problem with the filmis in a script put together by Robert Mark Kamen and Luc Besson. Whatmakes this even more unfortunate is that Luc Besson previously wroteand directed the previously mentioned Leon: The Professional, and haswritten other hit films. It's Besson's resume and reputation that setmy expectations on the higher side, only to be disappointed. Megaton'scasting is for the most part well put together. The extremely slim andslender Zoe Saldana does a solid job as Cataleya, and Cliff Curtis isexcellent as Emelio, Cataleya's uncle. Michael Vartan, however, wasmiscast, and I consider myself a fan. Vartan's doe-eyed look doesn'twork in an action thriller of this type. A stronger presence is needed,and Vartan does not provide strength; only a dull presence. Saldanamost recently appeared in Star Trek and Avatar, showing promise andthat she's more than just a pretty face and nice body. In Colombiana,Saldana effectively demonstrates that she possess the necessary toolsto be an action star. The script does not do her justice though,putting Cataleya in situations that any intelligent assassin wouldn'tallow themselves to be put; and that doesn't include the unlikely waysin which Cataleya gets in and out of specific predicaments. If you arelooking for believability, then you need to look somewhere else. If youare looking for deeply developed characters, I'm sorry to disappointyou but the only thing that's deep is the stuff you are careful not tostep in when walking in someone's yard or alley. What started out as amovie with tiny potential, ended up as something far worse than justbeing terrible; it ended up being a movie that's mediocre, unoriginaland predictable. What's even worse though, is that it's not memorablein any way and it's not worth remembering. Grade: C-Visit our site at www.twodudereview.com

beaucheri33 2012-05-18 05:24:46

Good... but not Gold

The only thing that disappointed me about this film is that it had allthe right ingredients but didn't deliver... I actually thought thatwith a cast with cliff curtis, jordi molla, and of course the fabulousZoe Saldana that you couldn't go wrong, but unfortunately this wasnothing more than a good attempt to glorify "Girl Power" with a weakstoryline. was it a horrible movie??? of course not!! I've definitelyseen worst, and it was definitely watchable, but just not the gem thati thought it would be. "Columbiana" is the type of film that you reallyshouldn't take seriously because you already know what's coming.. whatyou see in the previews is what you get.. there's no unexpected twistsor turns, and some things within the film are very unrealistic, butstill fun to watch...my advice : Don't believe the hype or the hatersbecause it's not great nor horrible... take this film for what it is...a cool and sexy action flick.

keytonic 2012-05-17 20:38:02

Excellent movie.

I do not write many reviews, but after watching this movie i feltcompelled to write one for this movie. Im not sure what i anticipatedwhen i had first gotten this movie But after watching it i was blownaway. The movie is fast pace action packed and very good. I was shockedby how amazing this movie was. When i had gotten it i did notanticipate it to be so good. Highly recommend it, gave it a 10. youshould watch it tell your friends about it and rate it a ten as well.then write a review for it like i am doing. In all seriousness this wasa very awesome movie. Do not hesitate to watch it today. you will notbe sorry.

ChipperX 2012-05-17 12:06:36

Columbiana Will Be Legendary.

Seriously. Kicks. A$$. Really. I don't understand what all the fuss isabout - I walked into the theater expecting to see a poorly made,crappy movie where all the actors are uttering cheesy one-liners anddoing unbelievably stupid stunts that did not add to the plot of themovie - this is what I was led to believe by all of the negativereviews. In fact, I almost did NOT see this movie in the theater atall. Boy, are all of the critics who posted horrible reviews of thismovie WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.Columbiana, starring Zoe Saldana as the titular character, is a hotbedof action which steam-rolls through from beginning to end. Incredibly,the killing and other violent activities which form the basis of themovie do not bump the flick up from a PG-13 rating - how they did this,I will never know, because the movie is very, very violent. People talkabout the lack of character development in this movie - that is just abig, steaming pile of horse manure.Here's why: As most of you must know by now, the main character andprotagonist, Cataleya Restrepo (Amandla Stenberg & Zoe Saldana), is thedaughter of a kingpin in the drug trade. When Fabio (Jesse Borrego),Cataleya's father, decides to leave the particular drug cartel he isassociated with, the cartel's Don or father, named Don Luis (BetoBenites) orders Fabio and his entire family killed. Fabio discovers thekill-order, and attempts to flee with his wife Alicia (CynthiaAddai-Robinson) and daughter, 10 year old Cataleya - but they are toolate. Unfortunately, the parents are killed in an off-screenstandoff-cum gun-battle inside their home while Cataleya sits terrifiedat the kitchen table. She does not see her parents killed, but sheknows what has happened. THIS IS ALL THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THISTYPE OF MOVIE NEEDS. The violent murders of Cataleya's parents createsa thirst for vengeance which will not be sated until all partiesinvolved suffer a similar fate. This is the movie's moment of truth: Itdefines the way the story is treated from that moment forward.Critics have complained that the audience was not shown HOW Cataleyadeveloped her childhood "parkour" or speedy obstacle navigation escapeskills. That's just silly - first, the child of a drug kingpin inBogota, Columbia would most likely be taught by her gun-wieldingparents SOME type of self defense - which NEED NOT be part of thefilm's scope - second, any child who plays with other children knowshow to run, jump and hide - and third, a terrified child is usuallyuniquely capable of eluding pursuers for a short period of time ifgiven enough of a head-start.I have also read complaints regarding Cataleya's lack of a personality- that's ridiculous. She is simply a vengeful bitch who does not losefocus - ever since escaping, her ultimate goal has been killing thoseresponsible for murdering her family. We even get to see her interactlovingly with her uncle, Emilio Restrepo (Cliff Curtis), hergrandmother, Mama (Ofelia Medina), her boyfriend, Danny Delanay(Michael Vartan), her adopted family, and her dogs. The movie iscareful to show that while these parts of her personality are importantto her, Cataleya cannot truly move forward with her emotionaldevelopment until she has exacted her revenge.Critics of the movie have complained about silly little cosmetictouches like Zoe wearing a black leotard, Zoe dancing in front of thecamera, and Zoe sucking a lollipop. REALLY? Are these the things thatmake a movie BAD? Get real. The most important aspect of the movie forme is that Cataleya is forced to see that her single-minded focus onvengeance directly causes the remaining members of her family to bemurdered. She is also forced to see what she has become when she facesFBI agent Ross (Lennie James) and threatens the lives of his family inorder to assure his cooperation. Once this happens, and once Cataleyafinally kills the man who ordered her family murdered, she is able tomove forward with her development - and her life. The story has a neat,tidy ending, perhaps leaving the audience with a feeling asanticlimactic as Columbiana herself must have felt. Do yourself a favor- do not listen to the critics - see this movie and judge for yourself.Columbiana is a legendary piece of action filmmaking.- Chipper F. Xavier, Esq.***This Review was also posted on Metacritic by ChipperX @http://www.metacritic.com/user/ChipperX***

ArtandJoyofMovies 2012-05-16 17:07:01

Stop the whining--this film is pure fun!

TMG: Awesome and fun! Fast paced cool action. Think Mission Impossible(1996), Bourne Identity (2002), Salt (2010) and any favorite drug lordmovie of your choice…and you have Colombiana. Pure great Hollywoodentertainment and not too much blood and gore. They did work in one guyurinating (at least in a bathroom this time) before he gets whacked. Iguess this scene fits a bit because no guy likes to get hassled, letalone whacked, while taking a pee.I know Joy Lynn is 180 degrees the other side of this film from me. Ican only explain that by saying she had a bad experience at the shoestore the other day—really, I have zero clue. This movie is darn nearepic fun! From the grainy, sepia looking and hot helicopter fly oversof Colombia in 1992 at the start, to the incredible assassination scenechoreography, I just loved it. The foot chase through the slums ofColombia to get young Cataleya were the best I have ever seen. Even tenyear old Cataleya "giving up" her micro-disk on the desk at the U.S.embassy was pure grit. Sure, young Cataleya escapes U.S. custody byclimbing out a bathroom window. Note to US Marshals: Never leave yourprisoner unguarded in a bathroom with a large window.Grown up at 25, Cataleya cats about (I could not resist) Los Angelesseeking to kill all the drug related thugs who killed her father andmother back in Colombia. She has taken lots of self defense and killertraining from Matt Damon and Tom Cruise. Seducing her way into a jail,killing one and getting back out clean was pure marvel. However, do anyjails today really have those huge air vents that adults can climbthrough and escape to an alley where no one is watching? I doubt it.Also, her Uncle Emilio (Curtis) does not age a single day in theintervening fifteen years. It must be the good drugs he has access to.And sure there was a dumb scene in Cataleya's apartment just thrown infor erotic value. Hey, me and 1oo million other guys will let that oneslip with minimal criticism. She also fails to properly chamber a roundafter inserting a clip in an automatic handgun in one jail shoot out.She's so hot and cool though–the bullet probably chambered itself.Later in a gun battle, one casing bounces and it is clearly rusty andhas a dent in it. My buddy Mitch and I will tell you no way that willoccur in the real world. A silly mistake. And of course the ultimatefairly tale—a hot black babe like Cataleya with a white boyfriend? Nowthat is really pushing the fiction envelope.I will admit, Cataleya had everything figured out perfectly and herkill plans ticked by like a Swiss watch. I loved the foreshadowing ofhow feeding her dogs would later come into play. It was obvious, butgreat fun waiting in anticipation.I just though this film was pure fun. Excitement and danger with thebad guys getting their due is something I cheer for. If you liked SALT(2010)…this film is salt in the wounds. Try it!Joy Lynn: I have to disagree with TMG's rating on this movie. It is notan awesome movie by my standards, however guys wanting to watch afemale action figure in a cat suit and black lingerie slink around withmassive gun power this is movie for you. I have no doubt TMG loved thismovie for that exact reason. Zoe Saldana plays a hot, but very skinnyfemale named Cataleya who witnessed the killing of her parents when shewas young. I found the plot to be basically non- existent. I have seenthe same sleazy drug lords many times before. This is a story aboutrevenge. That's all. Nothing more. Killing by day and by night.Cataleya kills, changes clothes, and kills again and finds time for aquickie with a male friend who we never really get to know. Ladies,there are better movies to spend your time and money on. This is notthe one!Oh, and for those of you who listened to the radio show last week, ourcount down of 2011 movies where men urinate in full view has increasedby one more. Thanks Hollywood.

knitflick 2012-05-16 12:42:34

This movie should have been a lot more fun

I have to say that except for a few action scenes, this movie wasn't asgood as I had hoped. The beginning was good, exciting with plenty ofaction. Really enjoyed the young actress' performance as the youngColumbiana. Then the movie gets a little boring w/2 dimensionalcharacters and the plot lost its sense of urgency. Whenever there's a story involving a strong heroine, whether a comicsuperhero or a regular person, her romantic lead is always a problem.Should he be sweet and sensitive (he might be too wimpy) and needs tobe rescued by her or should he be just as strong, if not stronger thanher. Another aspect is that the heroine will have to choose betweentheir love and her task...she can't have both. This movie should have been a lot more fun but I would recommend seeingit.

kdorsey321 2012-05-16 00:46:16

What if someone killed your parents right in front of you?

Got a chance to check out the movie "Colombiana," Zoe Saldana, JordiMolla, and Amandla Stenberg. When I first saw the previews to thismovie I wanted to see it in the movie theater. I didn't get a chance toand to see it in the movie theater so I bought it on DVD and I'm glad Idid because I liked this movie a lot.This movie is about a little girl that witnessed her parents death andis out for revenge.I liked this movie a lot! Them showing her when she was little was abrilliant idea to me. It gave the movie more feel to it. You felt herpain more and it kind of leads you to agree with her actions more. Thekill scenes/action scenes were on point. Some of them, just genius! Myfavorite kill scene is when she shoots the guy in the shark tank. Theway she looks at him after he pulls the trigger, when there was no morebullets in the gun was priceless. I also like how they let the audienceknow that she is still human and no one is perfect at anything. Eventhough her kills were on point she was still frail to the strongconnection of a human she could possibly fall in love with. Overall avery good movie!I give this movie a 9 out of 10! This is a movie to see before you die.You don't have to see it right now, but before you pass give this moviea chance. Buy this on DVD if you got a few extra dollars lingeringaround. Your going to want to watch this movie whenever you feel likeit!

ketgup83 2012-05-15 11:04:42

Good Action scenes makes it watchable !!!

Colombiana was a decent entertainer with stylish action sequences whichis watchable at least once. Cateleye runs for her life after herparents are killed by local mafia. She takes refuge at her father'sfriend and vows to avenge her parent's killings Columbiana is directedby oliver and produced by Luc Besson. Generally , Luc Besson's filmsare more of style and less of substance and this is no different.Director has taken a simple story of blood and revenge. The film startsoff well with few scenes but looses out the steam afterward. But thanksto the nice climax , the movie becomes watchable. Screenplay is loosealong with the story which we've seen so many times in previous flicks.Action scenes are well executed but some of them are not easy todigest. Zoe Saldana is effective in her role as Cateleye. Rest of thestar cast are just about OK Overall , an average flick with good oldaction parts. Watch it if you love stylish action movies. Average 2.5/5