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Visitors Review

Jamesgreene88 2012-05-23 05:42:03

One of the top ten worst movies EVER!!!1!

I gave this one star because I had to. If it was possible to give it azero, I would. I had relatively high expectations for it due to playingthe game. This movie made me lose a little piece of my soul that I willnever get back. In the game, she fights Nazis. Nazis were no where tobe seen in this movie. In fact, the only similarities between the twowere the name of the main character and the name of the organizationthat she worked for. Other than that, this movie was a large, stinkingpile of (insert expletive).This was another bad movie given to us by Uwe Boll. I had seen "Alonein the Dark", which was an utter travesty and the only good thing aboutthat movie was Tara Reid in a black bra. Even though I have yet tosubject myself to it and lose a little bit more of my soul, I have notseen "House of the Dead." I have heard that one is equally as bad b/che (Uwe Boll) took footage from the game and tried to put it into themovie as legitimate work. And now, seeing that there is a "BloodRayne3" in the works, it makes me die that much more inside.

2012-05-22 14:45:57

What the heck was THAT??!!

Ok, I give up...what exactly was this film supposed to be? I haven't seen special effects this bad since...well...ever. There must have been a sale on blood packs, because that's the only thing this movie was not in short supply of. They actually had a man on the ground supposedly being hacked to pieces. I saw better at the high school haunted house last year. Totally inexcusable...please people, do not waste your time or money!! They should have paid US to watch the movie.

2012-05-16 09:42:14

A Bloody, Sordid Display

This review is from: BloodRayne (DVD) Video game fans must remain hopeful that there will, someday, be made a satisfactory adaption of a much-loved console or arcade franchise.Regardless of when it will be made, it will surely not be directed by Uwe Boll.Barely improving his shamelessly godawful techniques from "House Of The Dead," the German director sets out once more to re-craft (and largely destory) a gamer legacy, this time in the form of the gory, vampire-themed action title, "BloodRayne." Featuring Kristanna Loken in the less-than-enigmatic role of Rayne, a vampire-human hybrid set out to avenge her mother's death by the hands of the big, bad vamp Kagan, the film showcases un-noteable acting, less-than-exciting fight sequences, plenty of bare flesh, and a shameless amount of bloodletting.Disregarding the video game's original storyline of a pre-WWII demon-slaying adventure, the film takes place in a fictional medieval universe where a vampire seeks the remnants of an enigmatic ancestor to empower himself, while his hybrid daughter seeks his death for the murdering of her mother. The film follows Rayne as she escapes her gypsy-esque captors and becomes integrated into the Brimstone Society, which seeks to bring down the ambitious Kagan.Told hastily and in a Harry Potter-like chopping fashion, the film's storyline is provided neither depth nor importance, as the contained scenarios hardly reach out to the audience, highlighting little more than the gory battle scenes, the senseless sexual encounters, and some forced moments of American-envisioned glory. The film's main appeal, after having discarded entirely with the foundations of the video game, is to those exciteable by an excess of blood and sex, both of which are presented in unnecessary amounts and without much motivation behind them.Nothing in particular about "BloodRayne" is outstanding or even beyond average or run-of-the-mill - the story has been told before, the production is reminicent of any weekly television show, the acting is nowhere near award-winning, and there are better fight scenes in "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" than in this production. Even a surprise appearance by rock & roll hero Meat Loaf can't lift this film close to the barline, and its inadequacy as even a summer blockbuster can't be masked by the obscene depictions of violence (pure shock factors) that serves as one of the film's foundations.While the producers can be credited for employing better graphics, costumes, and art direction than depicted in "House Of The Dead" and by exhibiting a gorgeous mountainous terrain in several scenes (truly reminicent of "Lord Of The Rings"), no amount of tidbits can cover up "BloodRayne"'s lackluster portrayal as just another silly action film, and just another bad effort by Uwe "can't-take-a-hint" Boll.

2012-05-15 21:38:39

Exceeds the 1 Star Reports given Here:

Before I watched this movie I read a lot of the one star reviews here on Amazon. I must say they significantly lowered my expectations for this movie. Now, this isn't a good movie by any means, but after reading all the negativity, I was expecting something much much worse... like worst movie I could ever imagine, but this movie is better than Manitou (that's one of the worst films I ever saw).Now, my review is strictly based on the movie for this is my first experience with the Bloodrayne universe. I've been desperate to find another Femme Fatale character I could get into since Chaos! Comics closed up shop and stopped printing Purgatori. I found out they were also making Bloodrayne comics and her character looked interesting. I'm very backlogged in my video games and I have not been able to play the games yet, but I plan on playing them soon!As I've already mentioned, this movie actually beat what I was expecting based on the reviews I read here... that or I am quite easily amused. There are some absolutely horrible parts of this movie though; like Michael Madson's character, Vladamir, always felt out of place. He just didn't act well in this movie, it's not Resovoir Dogs. Kristanna Loken did an alright job as Rayne though, better than I was expecting. The love making scene was absolutely hilarious though because it was so over exaggerated. And, yes, she is seen topless, for those who only wanted to see the movie for that fact alone. Ben Kingsley did a fairly poor performance throughout the whole film, up until the very end during the fight scene. I thought he finally held the air of royalty as the vampire lord during that scene.The other part of the movie that was absolutely laughable was the gore from the fight scenes. Seriously, they're absolutely absurd, even for a medieval enactment. There's one scene where this one guy puts a sword through another guys face then lets go of the sword. Who does that? No, you KEEP your blade or else you're screwed; you don't let go for the sake of a good camera gore shot. Then there's a part where it shows this guy on the ground and a group of men hitting him in the face with maces. The "guy" or mannequin's face is turned to pulp, but do they stop after he's dead? Nope, five guys stand there and keep hitting the ground. They even looked bored doing it... there's nothing maniacal about these evil attackers.In the end, I was actually entertained. It doesn't have a lot of re-watch value, but it's good enough to watch with friends... especially those who will offer up the perfect sarcastic comment at just the right time. One thing I will warn, do NOT pay full price for this film. Wait till it costs six dollars used. It is an absolute waste of 20 dollars full price, even if it comes with the Bloodrayne 2 video game.

2012-05-14 10:21:30

Uwe Boll now owes me roughly 5 hours of my life back!

Maybe his next film can be the story of how I - pissed-off movie-goer forced to suffer thorough a truly bad director's inane and amateurish films - comes to collect the debt by beating it out of said director's a*s! The epiphany comes when I learn the lesson that it is I who is really at fault because I keep watching this [...] The message; free will can be a bit*h.Uwe Boll has often been called an Ed Wood for a new generation. This would be fine if he would admit what a cruddy director he is and just go the straight cheese route; but he insists on trying to make good movies, so we can't even laugh and the schlock of it all. Instead we marvel at how poorly he tries to cover up his dreck with good-looking production values, locals, and actors.In "House of the Dead" he was smart enough to get a bunch of hot girls naked for no other reason than to distract the movie's key demographic (video game geek teens) from the fact that everything else about the movie sucked. Exotic locals and an attractive, albeit untalented, cast not withstanding, the action was directed so poorly, blandly and confusingly that the whole thing was rendered incomprehensible. The movie was one long yawn of stuff seen a million times before only this time done more ineptly than perhaps ever before. It was one of the worst films I had ever seen. Of course, I had not seen "Alone in the Dark" yet. Everything that went wrong with "House of the Dead" goes wrong in that POS as well, except this time it was somehow worse because there is a more convoluted plot that wastes even more of the viewer's time, as if the writers are under the impression it is a good story and we care. The action, bad as was in "House" is even lacking here. And to add insult to injury, this one didn't even have the decency to throw in any gratuitous [...] shots.And now, Uwe gives us "Bloodrayne," and with it he has crafted sort of a film trilogy from hell. If anyone has ever indeed sold his soul to the devil the way we have seen in countless stories it must be Mr. Boll. How this man keeps getting these films into theatres rather than straight to video, not to mention work at all, is beyond me. He also, somehow, attracts talented actors that would be impressive names in any schlocky horror movie, not to mention one from this guy. Jurgen Prochnow in "House of the Dead," and in this film we have the Terminatress (Kristana Loken) as well as Michael Madsen ("Reservoir Dogs"), "Michelle Rodriguez ("S.W.A.T.," TVs "Lost"), Billy Zane ("Titanic"), and, most baffling, Ben Kingsly. Ben Kingsley!!! Can you imagine his agent saying, 'Yeah, it's from the acclaimed director of "Alone in the Dark, do it!'? Granted a lot of these names tend to toil in low budget fare from time to time, but they are names just the same. Why they look at these movies and this director and jump on board is beyond me. His movies are not hits. They all flop (none has made more than 5 million) and are all panned by critics and those who see them. So again, why does he get to keep making movies and why do known actors want to make them with him? This is an even better question to pose to studio execs. Why do his movies keep going into theatres?! Why does he get work at all?! The Devil's got some explaining to do."Bloodrayne" is what you'd get if "Lord of the Rings" and "From Dusk Till Dawn" had a retarded baby. It may actually earn the faint praise as the best of Boll's films. That's a bit like calling puke better than [...], but if you have to rank all these abominations, I think this one wins. It starts out with a nice moody tone and some picturesque cinematography. But then people start to speak. The dialogue and performances are atrocious from the get go. Even by the generally good actors. Michael Madsen sets the tone right off. He utters the film's first line as if he's reading it from his hooked on phonics book, and all the other actors follow suit. Loken is hot, doing something akin to a poor (wo)man's Charlize Therone, and this is a Vampire movie that remembers to supply the blood and [...]. But the action, again, is awful. Fight scenes are sped up and slowed down and blurred and every other damn trick to cover up their lameness. Some of the death scenes are fun in an over-the-top comically gory way. But most of the deformed faces of Vampires are laughably obvious masks and other things that have their heads severed or blood drained are obvious dummies. Ben Kingsley, whether it is intentional or not, is stuck in pancake make-up and looks laughably awful. And Meatloaf turns up doing his usual over -the-top performance shtick. He's the only who seems to realize this thing sucks, so hammy is the way to go. At least he sucks on purpose, whereas everyone else just sucks. I can't stress enough that it is the dialog and the awful line readings that really make this unbearable to observe. I mean, did they bother to reshoot anything before releasing this?! Second to that are the poorly staged action scenes, and third is the over all sense of blandness that hangs over this thing. The story just doesn't matter, and is so bad, and every time it comes into play you just wanna grab for the fast-forward button.So this sounds pretty bad right? Funny bad, even? I don't know. Maybe if you're drunk, but I still say this movie doesn't even warrant a recommendation on the so-bad-its-entertaining scale. There are those moments to be sure, but because it takes itself so seriously as a whole, the plot pops up and there are long moments of pure, dead screen time. Stuff is happening but you could care less. And those stretches ain't funny. Which brings me back to my recommendation that if Boll is gonna keep making these crapfests he needs to get out of his own way and stop thinking somewhere along the line one of them is gonna be good. Embrace is inner Ed Wood-ness. Camp it up, ham it up and just give us the over-the-top junk that is the only reason most people watch movies with titles like "House of the Dead," "Alone in the Dark," and "Bloodrayne" to begin with.He can start with the story I mentioned at the top of this review. Or something autobiographical perhaps? The story of his meeting with Beelzebub. Of course we all know what happens there. But we don't yet know how it ends...Ah, chances are he'd even screw up that movie.

Roy Linford Adams 2012-05-14 03:03:38

Plagiarized Another Video Game's Plot

I didn't go through all 400 bad reviews of this movie but it seems I'mthe only one who noticed this.Uwe Boll blatantly stole his plot devices from another video game,Castlevania II, Simon's Quest. In the game, Simon Belmont must searchthe country side in search of parts of Dracula and you guessed it, twoof them are "Dracula's Eye" and "Dracula's Rib". Oddly enough these arethe only two item out of the five you must find that endow Simon withspecial power. Dracula's Eye lets Simon enter some areas he couldn'tbefore (Like Rayne can now walk in water) and Dracula's Rib acts as ashield against projectile attacks (Rayne gains super-vampire strengthonce she has the rib).Let's face it folks, this proves once and for all Uwe Boll is not onlya bad script writer and director, he's a thief to boot. Unable toformulate his own ideas, which is probably why he focuses on making badvideo game-based movies. The stories are already written for him, hejust has to copy it down and ruin it by putting his own special brandof suck into it to make it his.

2012-05-12 22:18:57

Best of three

Of the three movies that came out recently with female heroines, this was the best. In fact, I think that Rayne is the best heroine since the TV series Dark Angel.

2012-05-12 15:33:02

BloodRayne Movie

Not bad for a low to medium budget film. I have seen a lot worse from some names in the past that were supposed to be high class film makers. However seeing as how this was an attempt to make a game into a movie I must say that the director didn't do to badly. Keep it up. For those of you who have no idea what this movie is about let me give you a quick brief. The Dhamphir born beauty named Rayne seeks to avenge her mothers death by killing her vampire father with the help of a group of hunters and the help of 3 magical items. Starring Kristanna Loken, Micheal Madsen, Micheal Rodriguez, Matthew Davis, Billy Zane and Ben Kingsley.

daellis50 2012-05-12 02:58:57

A wonderful waste of time.

This gawd awful movie isn't worth watching on for free. I'm surprisedit made it to the theater. I'll never get the time back it took me towatch this movie. Just another wasted point in my life. The plot isweak. The fight scenes were comical at best, and the sex scene seemedto have no point with the rest of the film it was pointless. And allthis led up to one of the worst endings I've ever seen. I feel myintelligence has been insulted that the cast and crew felt this filmwas suitable for viewing. Somewhere someone in the production of thisfilm should have said lets rethink this one. For this film to be basedon a pretty good game, they should have come up with a better plot.I'll never see anything from this director again. I want a refund.

liscious11 2012-05-11 11:29:47

i liked Bloodrayne

I recently saw a screening of Uwe Boll's BloodRayne at the AFM. Afterreading all the ferociously negative and vicious commentary on Uwe Bollthat's been posted here, I was really curious! How could a film makerevoke so much hatred? That, combined with the fact that I'm a chick,and have never played a video game in my life, and therefore, have nopast romance with the BloodRayne video game.... I went into thescreening with low expectations, and was very pleasantly surprised! Ireally liked BloodRayne! I had a great time watching it and enjoyed thestory. I thought it was well paced with lots of action, gallons ofblood, and some great fight scenes! It had some beautiful locationshots, and a talented and eminently watchable cast! I didn't seeanything wrong with any of the actors performances. And kristanna Lokenwas a great treat to watch-- performing most of her own stunts andfights-- (as well as that hot jailhouse sex scene!) I think she did areally good job carrying the bulk of the film.I also had the pleasure to meet and talk extensively to Uwe Boll, andwas really impressed! A nice, unaffected, hardworking, smart, veryhands-on, independent producer/director! Working outside of the studiosystem, raising tons of funds, getting great casts, and personallyinvolved with all the distribution and promotions-- Boll is makingentertaining films AND paying his investors back with dividends! So Idon't really understand all the bad reviews? It seems to me thatthere's a lot of malicious and unjustified hatred of Uwe Boll. I knowI've seen worse films, ( hell, I've acted in worse films!) But this guyis working his ass off, and getting results!! He should be celebratedas a champion of the independent- and a shining example of the power ofhard work and the ability of the individual!

jonesberney 2012-05-05 12:17:09

UWE "the dogs" BOLL's

I am a movie fan. I am a fan of this movie. This has to be, in myopinion the greatest video game to movie adaptation i have ever seen,it is so faithful to the game it was just like the game, but with reallife people. It was as if all i had imagined and more about the gamewas actually made real onto my television screen. They got Rayne's hairabsolutely spot on, she was even better than she is in the computergame. The acting was of a fine standard, with Michael Madsen putting inone of the all time great movie performances, peppered with nuance andaching with purvivre. I'm not usuallally into violent movies, often ifind the violence in films gratuitous and irrelevant to the story, likein war films. I abhor all forms of violence, but, and this is a bigbutt, the violence in this movie was brilliant!! There is a scene wherea big monster gets his face smashed in with a spiked stick and its sogross me and my friend had to rewind it about 20 times. I was soenthralled by this film that i wanted to know more about the thinkingand thought processes behind it. So i watched 'Dinner with Uwe Boll'but i couldn't tell what they were eating. I then listened to Uwe Bollcommentary and i think he said that the Bloodrayne game was set inworld war 2, which didn't ring a bell with me so i might have beenthinking of a different game. But the film was more about the game i'mthinking of than the one he was talking about so i still give this film10 out of 10.

2012-05-04 21:33:41

Zeeero Stars

I dont want to waste anymore time on this movie so ill be short.The Amazon reviews of this movie are infinitely more entertaining than the movie itself. The same is true for other game-based movies by this Uwe Bol.This movie contains no excitement at all. All the action scenes look like bad rehersal sessions.Spare yourself this visual torment, and save your money.

alex-t-1 2012-05-04 03:34:29

A Good Medieval Vampire Movie

Overall an average movie, but the really sexy main actress makes it abit above average. Worths being seen.The story is decent, though rather sketchy. Rayne looks rathervulnerable and weak, not the all powerful chick we see in the videogame. But that might be a good thing. The fighting scenes are not verygood, but that's the way they are in almost all movies. The badcharacters are generally mildly evil, not diabolically evil. The goodcharacters have their weaknesses and tend to die in the fights. Thoseare rather good points too.I heard in one of the scenes the half-naked women around Leonid (MeatLoaf), were real prostitutes as they were cheaper to hire than realactresses. Well, I think they were more suited for that role thanactresses, I couldn't tell the difference.I watched it on TV and I felt quite entertained. I didn't feel likechanging the channel at any point, so I don't understand those 90% ofthe comments which rate this movie as awful. I agree most Uwe Bollfilms are bad, but this one looked OK to me.Edit: I've also just seen the uncensored version so I changed my votefrom 8 to 9 for extra blood and gore.

Mike 2012-05-03 14:50:20

Gotta love Yahoo.

When I wrote this review, 2 reviews were grade 'F' and a troll had had given it 'A+'.The average should have been 'D' or 'C' in my estimate, but they (yahoo) had it at anaverage of 'A'.Go figure.If you haven't figured it out, this stinkbomb was directed by the infamous Uwe Boll, who did 'House of the Dead', 'Alone in the Dark', among others. Uwe Boll makes Ed Wood look like Martin Scorcese. You Have Been Warned.Feel free to watch this piece of crap if you like throwing your hard-earned money away.

2012-05-02 21:42:39

Jesus Wept

A friend of mine has an advance copy of the movie, and we sat and watched as I like the BR games. Dear sweet heaven I wanted to tear my own eyes out and eat them. While Ms. Loken is attractive, senseless softcore porn is not what i wanted. If I had wanted that i have a computer here at home. Secondly, as an actor, and one who is stuck doing live performances or low budget college films for now, i have to wonder WHAT HAPPENED TO BEN KINGSLEY?! This is a man whom I admire and idolize for his works like Ghandi and House of Sand and Fog...Why in all the cosmos would he decide to take part in this? Must've been one hell of a paycheck for Ben, Mike, and Michelle. Thirdly, Dr Boll needs to put all those vast financial resources of his to a better use. Why in the world does he need to make more films? Why doesnt he give the money to charity. Hell, with the money he's lost on House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark($35 million) he couldve donated to who knows how many charities and allowed them to further their causes in innumerable ways. I can enjoy a crappy horror film, I can enjoy bad acting, as either of the two can often be humerous, such as in Bruce Campbell's Man with the Screaming Brain. it was MADE to be crappy and MADE to be funny in its cheesiness. This movie has no such benevolent intent. It was made, SERIOUSLY, as an actual horror/action film and failed horrendously. For those of you who dont realize it, a few THOUSAND(not million, thousand) dollars could easily make something of a higher quality than Dr Boll's lovely masterpiece here...and I use the word masterpiece with sarcasm dripping from every pore upon my flesh. If this man continues making movies, the online petition wont be enough, we'll have to fly to Germany and have a protest outside his house/mansion/villa/etc. I feel sorry for the actors in this movie as this thing will act as a permanent stain on their very souls, not just their careers. Please, everyone just leave Bolls movies alone...forever.

alucifer 2012-05-02 12:32:09

kristanna loken and lots of gore

why does everybody hate this movie so much.come on guys we have thesexy kristanna loken killing in very gory ways.so whats not to like.whocares if it's a b-movie .at least i wasn't bored like i was watchinglord of the trends i mean rings.this is a movie for gorehounds forsure.i was a huge fan of the video games and they made this movie justlike the games.a hot female vampire killing people.the gore in this isincredible just like in the video game.this is way better than most ofthe crap that comes to theatre's.go buy this DVD right away because themore money this movie makes the better.i want to see kristanna comeback and star in bloodrayne 2

2012-05-02 05:23:03

I Don't know WHY they let Boll keep his camera....

What the hell was hollywood thinkg when they gave this guys more money?!?!? i mean have you NOT seen Alone in the Dark? I'm a huge fan of this game and of many of the actors in this film, and to see them do a something like this just breaks my heart? why oh why did any of you do this? i mean were you just that bored with life, or that desperate for money? well either way this movie was horrendous and if it weren't for the game i got with it, i'd just download it.

harpy 2012-05-01 19:16:48

Oh my...

I really didn't expect much before I started watching this movie, and Ihave to say it really fell below even those poor expectations. The ideaof the movie was not a bad one and even the plot was not that bad, butthe terrible acting of most everyone in the movie really pushed it overthe edge and into the dark abyss where really bad movies go to die.Poor special effects and terrible fighting sequences just keptreinforcing the just overall "terribleness" of the movie. Though afterI'd watched this movie I had thought it was the worst movie I'd EVERseen, I couldn't give it 'one star' only because I watched an evenworse movie right after it...guess which movie that was? I'll give youa hint, it had the number 2 in it.

Peter 2012-05-01 15:43:45

WOW

I was pretty excited to preview this film. However, 30 min into the film I thought I was going to lose it. The fight scenes where horrible. For one thing a human should not be able to kill 3 vampires alone (come on vampires are super strong I thought). There where so many thing that where not explained in the film that left you wondering what was going on. Oh yea, the ending was a joke. Well if you have money to throw around go ahead and do it. But for those who don't keep your money for another film. Many of you are going to read this and go see the movie to find out for yourselves. If you agree at the end of the movie that it sucked, check out my other reviews which will have the same accuracy.

dftwilight 2012-05-01 07:31:00

Better late than never...

It's amazing how masochistic the human race can be. Wives stay withabusive husbands (and vice-versa), wildfires rage yet doomed homeownerscould seem to care less so they pull out the old garden hose to docombat with nature, and ultimate fighters continue to get in the ringand pummel each other silly all the while wondering why their oldestmemory dates back to the last time they had a meaty fist slammed intotheir face. Why the long sentence you say? Because I have nogrammatical license and I suck at writing.But I digest.I know Uwe Boll is a horrid filmmaker. I know it. I swear I do. I'veseen HOUSE OF THE DEAD and ALONE IN THE DARK. I knew what I was in forbut with a cast attached to BLOODRAYNE like Kingsley, Madsen, andRodriguez, I thought "Surely Boll has improved as a filmmaker! He's gotsome good talent attached!" And, like the abused wife who thinks thatperhaps this time around it will be better, I rented BLOODRAYNE. Andlike the stupid ultimate fighter, I received a meaty, ham-fistedclobber across the face after the first 20 minutes.Make no mistake, this movie is BAD. Bad bad bad. No story, no characterdevelopment or arc, the fundamental 3-act structure is left in tatters,excruciatingly painful dialog, bad production design...well, I could goon.Why two stars and not one? Because after I couldn't stomach the first20 minutes any longer, I fast forwarded to the sex scenes and anywhereI saw some gore (the assault on that monastery was pretty brutal). Igot to see all the best parts without being annoyed by a film thatbarely had a story anyway! Woohoo!